Remember when i reviewed Craphole? Well, i obviously forgot to mention a person who is also against that site. Kaye Fabian, who does blogposts that i used to do. "Reviewing" people that are assholes to him.
I understand good ol' Kaye, i agree with most of his blogposts. Heck, he does better job at insulting people than me!
Go read his blog! He's better rantist than i am! I think we should share our hates together. And such.
http://behindthecurtainz.blogspot.fi/
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
FortCrap: My Old Xtranormal Videos!
Okay, i'm presenting you another new corner of our blog that you probably never see again because Triple-F of Doom takes all the time and nobody would even care about it anyway.
Anyways, this is FortCrap, where i review all the shit I have done in the past, yeah, my internet life was pretty shitty. And it still kinda is, i haven't tried to learn anything and i keep running a unfunny blog that is only viewed by swedish admin site robots.
But back to the past, i deleted my old deviantart account so i might never see my old stuff ever again, however, i found my old xtranormal account full of Anti-Japan messages, which is kind of ironic because, i'm not a weeaboo, but i seem to like anime stuff a lot. I don't that much care about Japan or roam in Anime sites, but Evangelion is the greatest piece of moving pictures i've ever seen and also hentai fucking rocks. But this was that time, that time i call "Lord Harry", that time when every person who liked Japanese stuff even a small piece was automatically a kawaii-desu weeaboo who had to be executed.
Let's see how it went, with the first video known as
First scene has an unnamed boy with a voice that sounds like... i can't figure out what he sounds like, but that sounds like a british accent. Well, the boy tells he has now a lot of time and...
"Heh who are you???". And out of nowhere comes the "Anti-Weeaboo Spy" , he looks like detective, because according to Valvefags Spies are mask-wearing arrogant suit-dudes who sap people's poor sentries.
Back to the video, boy is interested what exactly is Anti-Weeaboo, and doesn't give a shit that he is seeing an actual SPY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET. Seriously, aren't spies supposed to be top secret men? No wonder Not-Sonich Kuchedoff declared this to be fail.
Well, Spy tells Anti-Weeaboos are a force that want to stop weeaboos. (no shit???) Weeaboos are people who like or love Japan, (There isn't real difference there??) and, Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan, and then Spy-Detective-Person makes a patriotic pose.
Why Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan anyway? Are they actually a bunch of dudes whose grandparents death in Pearl Harbour shocked them, or did they only watched that Michael Bay movie? Or are they butthurt 4channers who want Anime Boards off the site? I just hated it for no reason, i can't really figure it out myself either, probably it was just the lack of Evangelion.
But back to the video, how does the boy react to the dude's "speech"???
"Wow."
And then Spy-Dude is like "Yes, you know what?? Join Us!"
Really? Just because he said "Wow" he's apparently interested in hating Japan??? Go figure, dude! That kid must be some bum from street who never talked with anyone or never had an internet. Strange enough, Spy didn't mention Anime, so i don't really remember did i hated Japan that much.... KYM will prove it eventually.
Then Spy says that joining Anti-Weeaboos is easy and Falkyjar (Translation: Pinfeather) would take boys like him AKA Street bums. And the boy just nods. And then Spy says "Perfect, let's GHOAEUAOH!" No, He really did, just watch it! It was just plenty times fasturd.
That was silly, and now into a complete change... in style. Now people are replaced with robots from DreamWorks movie!
"Jade, I'm bored to this stuff" A Television Android built from Coca-Cola cans blurted in a space bar where no man has gone before.
"What now, Dr. Weez?" A Stupid rubbish pin made out of Kitchen machines asked.
"I'm working to a man calledMatrixMarioX Eustace Pietime" Weez responded. "He always wants me to fix his PeeCee."
"Now i'm bored." Living Junkyard declared. "I want some more stuff (to do) thanhim fixing dead PC's all the time."
"And what should i be?" Lady in Brown asked as she scratched her head.
"A Man.", Weez cursed "Something more than Weeaboo stuff... I want anti-stuff!"
"You mean..." Jade started. "Antiweabos?" she muttered quickly.
"Oh, hellsure yes i mean!" Coca-Cola thing said. "Whatevah..."
Dr. Weez was shortly killed after his journey through dataspace, nobody knows what killed him but it looked like... onions.
Not many people cried.
Now, the video starts with the guy with Spy's voice (They must be same person!) telling that he has bad news for the President of Anti-Weeaboos. While not being visible, he asks "Mr. Hurry", what is it. And appareantly, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY!!! *gasp*
Some People! Who knows how MUCH is that??? The Highest Authority states that this has happened previously too, but it's still bad, because SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY GUYS!!! THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM, I DON'T EVEN MENTION THEIR NAMES!!!
Those people have apparently "thinked" that Japanese people have a lot of awesome stuff.
Falkyjar can't do anything about this! Of course he can't because he knows that people have opinions! Goddamn it!
So, the Highest Authority states that they might start a war against Anti-Weeaboos! And it means the end of Anti-Weeaboos!
Wait? They can't fight back? So they're actually a group of weak men who waste all their money on spies who force street bums into their army?? I get it! Anti-Weeaboos are the CHINAMEN.
Then he tells Mr. Hurry to "get the grenades." More like...
"GET THE GRANADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS PUTA!"
Highest Authority tells Mr. Hurry has he ever heard of suicidebomber Konata... Azumi. Mr. Hurry wonders why should they throw suicidebomber with grenades, he even tells that it sounds stupid, but then decides to accept.
Have you realized, Mr. Hurry, that WHOLE ANTI-WEEABOO SHIT SOUNDS AND IS STUPID IN GENERAL???
Then we see finally Highest Authority's face, and it turns out he's John McCain and even does a nazi pose.
WHAT?
This is... very... confusing....
I don't know either, dude.
That was childish and silly, and doesn't fit my personality, well, it does fit FORTAN's personality but not mine. Me and "Fortan" you know are different people.
Besides, this "style" gives me creeps. I don't find it pretty enjoyable to stare at that Black and White Man's soulless stare.
Uhhh... next video please.
"Oh my god." Jade started. "What now, Francis?" She asked and crossed her arms.
"Oh, What a night!" An Ancient Camera-Radar thing moaned. "Jade, They clicked me about million times... That was fun!"
"Okay." Jade replied and sighed.
"The Weeaboo Party was fun." Francis reiterated. "All this gayness there and..."
"Yes," Coffee Machine Lady interrupted. "I know you're gay, like all weeaboos."
Camera-Computer dude turned on Jade and blurted: "Oh man, don't start it... Jade, this is hybrid you know."
"You are!" Jade shouted. "What??" Gay Version of Lost In Space Robot asked.
"Gay." Jade said and stared.
Then Francis killed Jade by knocking her head down and burning the bar down. Francis got 5 years in Inter-galactic prison.
Neeeeext...
We see Anti-Weeaboo Spy sitting on his chair and telling how this work as Spy is taking him off.
Suddenly we hear Highest Authority who came out of nowhere and also said Spy's real name, and it turns out he's just a guy named Hudson.
So, Highest Authority wants to talk with Mr. Hudson. Well, Spy Hudson thinks it's neeze to see Mr. President again. What Wiktionary states to me, i'm sure everytime Spy sees Mr. President he starts to sneeze, so no wonder that guy is forced to collect bums from a street!
Well, Hudson also recommends President to call him just Spy because "Weeaboos are On The Door" Hmm, that would make a good songname. Note to Self!
So, The Highest Authority has to talk about "The Weeaboo Lovers." Spy goes sad and wonders why those people want to make theirselves look stupid. Because of this President changes quickly the topic and wants Spy to help him to attack the Weeaboo Base. President has also heard that "Dutchman Joe" lives in there.
Dutchman Joe? Who is he? Long lost son of The Dutchman? We'll see.
Anti-Weeaboo Spy accepts, suddenly we hear, or they hear, something and Spy's mouth turns into black goo. Highest Authority tells him it's the Suicidebomber, and he needs to "Get On." And by that we mean, GET ON! GET ON BABY! GET ON! If you don't know the reference, Finnish teens from 70's will beat the shit out of you.
Anyways, the next video, where we finally see stuff from Weeaboo's point of view.
So, Joe starts by telling that they have a special guest tonight, who is Jweck 9son.
Hm, Joe doesn't even tell who he is. Is this a sign that Weeaboos are actually overlords in this universe? That explains robots and big heads...
Joe asks Mr. 9son how does it feel to be the boss of every weeaboo on the ear...wait.
So you're telling me that that nigga is the leader of the Japanfags? I expected someone cool, and evil, but nope.
If i remember right, Jack was supposed to be white, but xtranormal had very limited amount of characters. So i chosed the one with black hat.
Well, Jweck tells that leading every weeaboo on earth is "not bad" and "it's just fun." Now i know how Kim-Jong Un feels!
Well, Jweck tells that he has ability to mind-control people, but really can't. Jweck tells that it's really his scientist, Dr. Archy, who is the only person who has a surname that doesn't sound stupid.
Then Joe asks why did he...i mean Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata... Azumi, who is a famous tv star.
Well, Jweck says that this world needs suicidebombers, how ironic, so Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata A. and thus made... him(?) insane.
Joe is being ignorant once again and asks Jweck just one question, Does he love anyone.
And Jweck tells he's a pervert.
Hmmm, i don't really love anyone in Anime Universe, because i'm a pervert for every single anime girl, so i guess i somehow predicted future.
Well, Joe thanks Jweck and then tells that Giant Bus is driving in Orguila. Whatever is that, and Jweck realizes he "needs to be hurry." I can't remember what was the point of that.
This one was pretty decent, it was too short, but pretty much all these videos are too short.
I hope the next video is decent as this...
So, we see a priest-like person who tells to Mr. 9son that Anti-Weeaboos and trolls are attacking here. Then Jweck says probably the most fanciest line of all these videos.
"Trolls, What they are?"
By using the bad grammar, Jweck sounds like he isn't giving a fuck, and doesn't know that a shitload of Weeaboo Haters are coming to kill him. That must become my tagline!
Well, Priest-Dude mentions three people that-i-totally-don't-know-anything-about. Heh, i don't really want to know what those guys do these days, especially the first one!
After finding out that trolls are Weeaboo and Anti-Weeaboo "hatters", Jweck says another quotable line:
"What god has created to this world???"
I mean, you're not a villain at all if you're not Christian, this guy is awesome! Why didn't i use him more?
Well, Jweck wants that Weeaboo's must be saved before basement gets ruined, and is planning to go to battlefield with president.
Priest-Dude (Who is Dr. Archy i just remembered) asks Jweck is he crazy and says that the Antis will kill him if he does that. He also tells that Nico Nico Douga's code ornaments(?) are in the basement.
Jweck says that he doesn't care, and he will go there, no matter what.
"Time is Up, We Must do peace with them both."
I Don't really think that Jweck is a villain, Anti-Weeaboos just think they are because they're stupid.
Then to the last Anti-Weeaboo War video, starring two leaders of the both armies.
Okay, i don't remember much about this video, so let's see what they say.
"President of Weeaboo Haters, Nice to see you again."
I think Jweck thinks it's pretty satire to call Weeaboo's Antis. But Anti-Weeaboos call theirselves Antis too, so what?
President says the same words.
"This is our last fight, Probably. The Trolls are a new challenge for us."
Highest Extremetly Flat Authority tells that trolls are complaining about the Anti's and their... gayness? I Don't know was that guinness or gayness.
"Hey, how about we fuse our powers and destroy trolls together."
SING DIGIMON THEME SONG! NOW!
Well, President commands that they must stop fighting and destroy the trolls, once and for all.
Nobody knows did they win. But it's better than leaving it into a cliffhanger.
After this i tried to start new series, that didn't work, and it was also my last vid, because my youtube account was hacked and Xtranormal started to cost.
This Scrappy Doo is known as...
We see a hippie with a voice never heard before, he wonders where that sound comes from, and it turns out to be an old mans throne room(?).
Hippie says that he can't be serious, i agree. Then Hippie asks what he wanted from him.
Suddenly, the old man starts ranting about Vocaloid, or "Vookaloid" and he tells how that place is a hell on earth and tells that the place has rapes, drugs, alcohol, racism and even Nazi's.
I think somebody just fused Vocaloid with "Tumblr." Or then he was actually talking about Vookaloid and not Vocaloid.
But hippie tells that he thinks that Miku is loveful... but the old man interrupts hippie with a buzzer sound and "double-w-Rong". And tells that everyone in Vookaloid, this time spelled as "Vocaloid", sucks.
He even tells the hippie to grow up, and tells that he is going to destroy this evil "Infestation"
And the hippie... ugh... just replies "Oh! Okay!"
Then the old man brokes the fourth wall by telling that "Those guys" will get something that they never forget, and mentions again some usernames...
Hippie lampshades this by asking who is he talking to, and man just replies "To Jaybus???" Followed with a late laughing track.
And then it ends.
Man those were stupid! But My mercy for Jweck has grown back again. I'm soooo going to bring him back as full time OC and nobody could stop me!
Anyways, this is FortCrap, where i review all the shit I have done in the past, yeah, my internet life was pretty shitty. And it still kinda is, i haven't tried to learn anything and i keep running a unfunny blog that is only viewed by swedish admin site robots.
But back to the past, i deleted my old deviantart account so i might never see my old stuff ever again, however, i found my old xtranormal account full of Anti-Japan messages, which is kind of ironic because, i'm not a weeaboo, but i seem to like anime stuff a lot. I don't that much care about Japan or roam in Anime sites, but Evangelion is the greatest piece of moving pictures i've ever seen and also hentai fucking rocks. But this was that time, that time i call "Lord Harry", that time when every person who liked Japanese stuff even a small piece was automatically a kawaii-desu weeaboo who had to be executed.
Let's see how it went, with the first video known as
HOW TO PEOPLE BECOME ANTI-WEEABOO
In correct speech: "How people become Anti-Weeaboos" or "How to make himself look like a(n) complete asshat", lets view this shit:"Heh who are you???". And out of nowhere comes the "Anti-Weeaboo Spy" , he looks like detective, because according to Valvefags Spies are mask-wearing arrogant suit-dudes who sap people's poor sentries.
Back to the video, boy is interested what exactly is Anti-Weeaboo, and doesn't give a shit that he is seeing an actual SPY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET. Seriously, aren't spies supposed to be top secret men? No wonder Not-Sonich Kuchedoff declared this to be fail.
Well, Spy tells Anti-Weeaboos are a force that want to stop weeaboos. (no shit???) Weeaboos are people who like or love Japan, (There isn't real difference there??) and, Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan, and then Spy-Detective-Person makes a patriotic pose.
Why Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan anyway? Are they actually a bunch of dudes whose grandparents death in Pearl Harbour shocked them, or did they only watched that Michael Bay movie? Or are they butthurt 4channers who want Anime Boards off the site? I just hated it for no reason, i can't really figure it out myself either, probably it was just the lack of Evangelion.
But back to the video, how does the boy react to the dude's "speech"???
"Wow."
 |
| GO TO YOUR ROOM, STUPID KID! |
Really? Just because he said "Wow" he's apparently interested in hating Japan??? Go figure, dude! That kid must be some bum from street who never talked with anyone or never had an internet. Strange enough, Spy didn't mention Anime, so i don't really remember did i hated Japan that much.... KYM will prove it eventually.
Then Spy says that joining Anti-Weeaboos is easy and Falkyjar (Translation: Pinfeather) would take boys like him AKA Street bums. And the boy just nods. And then Spy says "Perfect, let's GHOAEUAOH!" No, He really did, just watch it! It was just plenty times fasturd.
That was silly, and now into a complete change... in style. Now people are replaced with robots from DreamWorks movie!
THE ROBOT WANT TO BE AN ANTI-WEEABOO
In Correct Speech: The Robot who wants to be an Anti-Weeaboo, or "The Robot who didn't got into Super Robot Wars game and got very angry about it"."What now, Dr. Weez?" A Stupid rubbish pin made out of Kitchen machines asked.
"I'm working to a man called
"Now i'm bored." Living Junkyard declared. "I want some more stuff (to do) than
"And what should i be?" Lady in Brown asked as she scratched her head.
"A Man.", Weez cursed "Something more than Weeaboo stuff... I want anti-stuff!"
"You mean..." Jade started. "Antiweabos?" she muttered quickly.
"Oh, hell
Dr. Weez was shortly killed after his journey through dataspace, nobody knows what killed him but it looked like... onions.
Not many people cried.
ON THE HIGH CONVERSATION'S ROOM
In Correct Speech: At The Room Of The Highest Authority, also known as "Cunning Plans"Some People! Who knows how MUCH is that??? The Highest Authority states that this has happened previously too, but it's still bad, because SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY GUYS!!! THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM, I DON'T EVEN MENTION THEIR NAMES!!!
Those people have apparently "thinked" that Japanese people have a lot of awesome stuff.
 |
| Like this. |
So, the Highest Authority states that they might start a war against Anti-Weeaboos! And it means the end of Anti-Weeaboos!
Wait? They can't fight back? So they're actually a group of weak men who waste all their money on spies who force street bums into their army?? I get it! Anti-Weeaboos are the CHINAMEN.
Then he tells Mr. Hurry to "get the grenades." More like...
"GET THE GRANADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS PUTA!"
Highest Authority tells Mr. Hurry has he ever heard of suicidebomber Konata... Azumi. Mr. Hurry wonders why should they throw suicidebomber with grenades, he even tells that it sounds stupid, but then decides to accept.
Have you realized, Mr. Hurry, that WHOLE ANTI-WEEABOO SHIT SOUNDS AND IS STUPID IN GENERAL???
Then we see finally Highest Authority's face, and it turns out he's John McCain and even does a nazi pose.
WHAT?
This is... very... confusing....
message to all
In Correct Speech: ... Message to Everyone Also Known As What Is This?I don't know either, dude.
"Hello, here is OriginalFalkyjar, I know you're calling me mad and faggot, because i hate Japan."Ironically, nowadays they would call me mad and faggot if i would say i love Japan, just saying.
"But i say you one thing, you people are faggots and idiots because of my calling. After this, i'm going to hate Japan more than ever before. Thanks to you, idiots, HAWEHAWHEEYAH!"That ending wasn't really necessary.
That was childish and silly, and doesn't fit my personality, well, it does fit FORTAN's personality but not mine. Me and "Fortan" you know are different people.
Besides, this "style" gives me creeps. I don't find it pretty enjoyable to stare at that Black and White Man's soulless stare.
 |
| GOOD NIGHT OKLAHOMA |
Weeaboo Robot Francis
In Correct Speech: Japan-Crazy Robot Called Francis, and it wasn't Francis from L4D, valvefags."Oh, What a night!" An Ancient Camera-Radar thing moaned. "Jade, They clicked me about million times... That was fun!"
"Okay." Jade replied and sighed.
"The Weeaboo Party was fun." Francis reiterated. "All this gayness there and..."
"Yes," Coffee Machine Lady interrupted. "I know you're gay, like all weeaboos."
Camera-Computer dude turned on Jade and blurted: "Oh man, don't start it... Jade, this is hybrid you know."
"You are!" Jade shouted. "What??" Gay Version of Lost In Space Robot asked.
"Gay." Jade said and stared.
Then Francis killed Jade by knocking her head down and burning the bar down. Francis got 5 years in Inter-galactic prison.
Neeeeext...
On The Spy's Room:
In Correct Speech: Highest Authority visits room of the Anti-Weeaboo detective.Suddenly we hear Highest Authority who came out of nowhere and also said Spy's real name, and it turns out he's just a guy named Hudson.
 | ||
| Hey everyone! We've got Hudson here! |
Well, Hudson also recommends President to call him just Spy because "Weeaboos are On The Door" Hmm, that would make a good songname. Note to Self!
So, The Highest Authority has to talk about "The Weeaboo Lovers." Spy goes sad and wonders why those people want to make theirselves look stupid. Because of this President changes quickly the topic and wants Spy to help him to attack the Weeaboo Base. President has also heard that "Dutchman Joe" lives in there.
Dutchman Joe? Who is he? Long lost son of The Dutchman? We'll see.
Anti-Weeaboo Spy accepts, suddenly we hear, or they hear, something and Spy's mouth turns into black goo. Highest Authority tells him it's the Suicidebomber, and he needs to "Get On." And by that we mean, GET ON! GET ON BABY! GET ON! If you don't know the reference, Finnish teens from 70's will beat the shit out of you.
Anyways, the next video, where we finally see stuff from Weeaboo's point of view.
Jweck 9son In Joe Humbles' Midnight Radio(tm)
There is no name for that so i made something up.Hm, Joe doesn't even tell who he is. Is this a sign that Weeaboos are actually overlords in this universe? That explains robots and big heads...
Joe asks Mr. 9son how does it feel to be the boss of every weeaboo on the ear...wait.
So you're telling me that that nigga is the leader of the Japanfags? I expected someone cool, and evil, but nope.
If i remember right, Jack was supposed to be white, but xtranormal had very limited amount of characters. So i chosed the one with black hat.
Well, Jweck tells that leading every weeaboo on earth is "not bad" and "it's just fun." Now i know how Kim-Jong Un feels!
Well, Jweck tells that he has ability to mind-control people, but really can't. Jweck tells that it's really his scientist, Dr. Archy, who is the only person who has a surname that doesn't sound stupid.
Then Joe asks why did he...i mean Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata... Azumi, who is a famous tv star.
Well, Jweck says that this world needs suicidebombers, how ironic, so Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata A. and thus made... him(?) insane.
Joe is being ignorant once again and asks Jweck just one question, Does he love anyone.
And Jweck tells he's a pervert.
Hmmm, i don't really love anyone in Anime Universe, because i'm a pervert for every single anime girl, so i guess i somehow predicted future.
Well, Joe thanks Jweck and then tells that Giant Bus is driving in Orguila. Whatever is that, and Jweck realizes he "needs to be hurry." I can't remember what was the point of that.
This one was pretty decent, it was too short, but pretty much all these videos are too short.
I hope the next video is decent as this...
UNNAMED
In Correct Speech: I Have no idea what is the name of this video."Trolls, What they are?"
By using the bad grammar, Jweck sounds like he isn't giving a fuck, and doesn't know that a shitload of Weeaboo Haters are coming to kill him. That must become my tagline!
Well, Priest-Dude mentions three people that-i-totally-don't-know-anything-about. Heh, i don't really want to know what those guys do these days, especially the first one!
 |
| You know, something, like, this. |
"What god has created to this world???"
I mean, you're not a villain at all if you're not Christian, this guy is awesome! Why didn't i use him more?
Well, Jweck wants that Weeaboo's must be saved before basement gets ruined, and is planning to go to battlefield with president.
Priest-Dude (Who is Dr. Archy i just remembered) asks Jweck is he crazy and says that the Antis will kill him if he does that. He also tells that Nico Nico Douga's code ornaments(?) are in the basement.
Jweck says that he doesn't care, and he will go there, no matter what.
"Time is Up, We Must do peace with them both."
I Don't really think that Jweck is a villain, Anti-Weeaboos just think they are because they're stupid.
Then to the last Anti-Weeaboo War video, starring two leaders of the both armies.
FINAL JUDGEMENT
"President of Weeaboo Haters, Nice to see you again."
I think Jweck thinks it's pretty satire to call Weeaboo's Antis. But Anti-Weeaboos call theirselves Antis too, so what?
President says the same words.
"This is our last fight, Probably. The Trolls are a new challenge for us."
Highest Extremetly Flat Authority tells that trolls are complaining about the Anti's and their... gayness? I Don't know was that guinness or gayness.
"Hey, how about we fuse our powers and destroy trolls together."
SING DIGIMON THEME SONG! NOW!
Well, President commands that they must stop fighting and destroy the trolls, once and for all.
Nobody knows did they win. But it's better than leaving it into a cliffhanger.
After this i tried to start new series, that didn't work, and it was also my last vid, because my youtube account was hacked and Xtranormal started to cost.
This Scrappy Doo is known as...
A Plan To Destroy Vocaloid
In Correct Speech: Haters try to delete Vocaloid from Someone's computer.Hippie says that he can't be serious, i agree. Then Hippie asks what he wanted from him.
Suddenly, the old man starts ranting about Vocaloid, or "Vookaloid" and he tells how that place is a hell on earth and tells that the place has rapes, drugs, alcohol, racism and even Nazi's.
I think somebody just fused Vocaloid with "Tumblr." Or then he was actually talking about Vookaloid and not Vocaloid.
But hippie tells that he thinks that Miku is loveful... but the old man interrupts hippie with a buzzer sound and "double-w-Rong". And tells that everyone in Vookaloid, this time spelled as "Vocaloid", sucks.
He even tells the hippie to grow up, and tells that he is going to destroy this evil "Infestation"
And the hippie... ugh... just replies "Oh! Okay!"
|
| GO TO YOUR ROOM, STUPID HIPPIE! |
Hippie lampshades this by asking who is he talking to, and man just replies "To Jaybus???" Followed with a late laughing track.
And then it ends.
Man those were stupid! But My mercy for Jweck has grown back again. I'm soooo going to bring him back as full time OC and nobody could stop me!
 |
| Expecially when the dude who used to stop me is doing something, like, this. And i'm out. |
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Dave McDonalds Rants: New Pokemon Game????
(Note: The Person known as Dave McDonalds doesn't exist, he is a fictional character that is supposed to be a stereotype of Croatians. If you're croatian and you do not act like this, you're not Croatian or then you're Stjepan Mesic or whatever his name was, anyways enjoy this "post")
i saw this shit today and it fucking sucked. seriously, a "new" pokemon game???????? same fucking thing all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
first this is the same fucking thing as previously, it's just in threedee!!!! MAN LETS TURN IT INTO 3D AND ITS NEW LOL!!!!! no. after gaming turned into threedee it fucking sucked since first 3d game president evil. after that gaming became just a bunch of shitty fps's that repeat each other all the time. nothing new, same shit.
then lets move to new pokaymans
this game is same fucking shit, this generation is same fucking shit. NINTENDO IS FUCKING SHIT!! STOP REPEATING SAME SHIT BILLION TIMES!! HERE IN CROATIA WE HAVE OUR GUNS ALREADY!!!!! JUST LIKE WE DID TO STJEPAN MESIC!!! WHY DID FRANDO TUDMAN HAD TO DIE???!!! WHY WE DIDN'T KEEP YUGOSLAVIA!!!!
FUCK WORLD AND IT'S PREGATORY!!!!
i saw this shit today and it fucking sucked. seriously, a "new" pokemon game???????? same fucking thing all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then lets move to new pokaymans
 | |||
| lol a monkey pokemon DIDN'T WE JUST SAW ONE IN FOURTH GEN?????!!!!!!!!!!! it looks like a gay atrosnaut. |
 |
| totally not vlupix! |
 |
| oh no not another super original toad pokemon |
FUCK WORLD AND IT'S PREGATORY!!!!
Monday, January 7, 2013
Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner: a sunken friendship
Okay, this is not a sex fanfic, this is a Crossover/bad grammar fanfic.
Starring the most overrated Cartoon of all time, Spongebob Squarepants, and Penguins of Madagascar.
Oh yes, Penguins of Madagascar, popular show for 7-year olds, and i can see why.
I once watched the show with my 6-7 year old cousin, and i've got to admit it's not bad. I'd rather watch that than MLP. And yes, they both air in Finland, suprisingly, because those overrated fuckfests like Invader Jim and Adventure Time never did. Anyways, let's see this fanfic written by asdf14, i hope you don't rage.
And suprisingly, this story goes to "Friendship/Suspense" category, and you know the rule, "When kid tries to turn show darker and edgier, it always fails". Anyways, let's review this crap.
Characters:
Skipper
Private
Rookie( has a crush on private)
Cadet(has a crush on skipper)
Jenna(kowalski's sister)
Kat(also has a crush on Rico)
Julietta (sadly has no crush)
Rico
Kowalski
Isau
Abbi (has a crush on Rico)
Killah(married to caleb)
Amelia(also sadly has no crush)
Caleb (married to Killah)
Mort
Maurice
King Julien
Rosie (mort's GF )
Brooke(KJ's gf)
Yasmine (Maurice's gf)
Marlene
I don't really know which one is who, but next we have SpengBab characters, i know most of them thanks to my limited watching of the show.
Sponge-bob
Sandy
Patrick
Squid-ward
Mr. Krabs
Sponge-bob's mom
Sponge-bob's dad
Larry
Katamy (Sponge-bob's sister)
Spongebob had a sister??? Ugh. Also, isn't Larry a cucumber from that christian show VeggieTales?
Kowalski: ok we are here at the Atlantic Ocean this should be perfect latitude 13 longitudes 46.
Skipper: ok boys you ready to catch the BIG one
Private: the th t big one
Skipper: Yes the BIG one
Curses! It was sex fanfic all along! Call the cops!
Rico: *holding a lit stick of dynamite* Kaboom kaboom!
Russian Problem Solve in a nutshell.
Skipper: *licks his flipper and puts out the fuse* not now rico
Rookie: not right now Rico maybe later
Maybe tomorrow!
Rico: awwwww maaan
Julian: what ze heck is the big one?
Skipper: gather around my friends, daughter, and Julian
Now you told me that The Big One is... a huge orgy??? Good grief, i've reviewed too many sex fanfics.
Kowalski: oh god not this story again you change it every time you tell it
Skipper: I do not I just add more details
Kowalski: well you've mentioned 50 different locations, 10 different scientists and one time an all-beef wiener
That sounds pervy.
Skipper: well duh it is important to the story
Private: not really skippah and by the way whatever did happen to the big one
Skipper: I will tell you if you let me finish the story
Private: but you haven't even stated skippah
Skipper: well I am now, so shut up
Private: ok
Skipper: it was a sunny day in 1989 my thoughts were short my hair was long-
"THIZ IZ SO FAEK,
FURST, PENGUINS DONT LIVE MORE THAN 20 YEARZ!!111
SEKOND, PENGUINS DONT HAVE HAIRS!!
THIRD, LEARN YOUR FAKTS YOU STUPID CARTOON KHID!!111 FUK U!"
That was sarcasm, you know.
Rookie: *interrupting him* daad the story
Skipper: oh right sorry I got carried away singing a song
Oh... that reminds me of a song...
Rookie: and btw your thoughts have never been short and your hair was never long
No shit.
Skipper: back to the story, it was a sunny day in 1956, us penguins were chillaxing at the old H.Q in southern France when our H.Q was destroyed by a huge reptile of some sort-
Private:*interrupting him* well why are we bringing fishing poles
Skipper: because it is a cover up
Well suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure it is...
Private: but how are we going to catch him at the ocean
Skipper: because he lives in a sewer right next to the ocean, back to the story the reptile was like 85 feet tall 30 feet wide and had razor sharp teeth he knocked down the left wall-
Private: yes it also took the wall of the bathroom, which I was using
bathrom joeks LOLLLL
Skipper: anyways that woke rico up , I was already awake, it was terrifying because that mutant ugly disgusting gross reptile stepped on our weekly supply of peanut butter winkies
Cadet: nooooo not the p.b winkies
Yes, P. B. Winkies will elect himself to be president of Serbia!!
Jenna and cat: *hugging each other* crying
Everyone accept for rookie and rico was crying
Just kidding, P. B. Winkies doesn't exist. OR DOES HE???
Skipper: its ok penguins and friends don't dwell on the past
Rico: ba to da stowi
Skipper: oh right we all got in a boat and tried to escape but mr reptile mc stupid pants knocked over the boat with his tail I flew back onto land and the other penguins flew halfway across the ocean
Rookie: was singing I believe I can fly splat she hit the water *making bubbling noises I bblleeb I cnnn ffllbiii*
What?
Skipper: back to the story read the next chapter and find out what happened next (if I finish it by then)
Okay i didn't stand it anyway...
Also, i've got to find more about that P. B. Winkies everyone are afraid of...
Starring the most overrated Cartoon of all time, Spongebob Squarepants, and Penguins of Madagascar.
Oh yes, Penguins of Madagascar, popular show for 7-year olds, and i can see why.
I once watched the show with my 6-7 year old cousin, and i've got to admit it's not bad. I'd rather watch that than MLP. And yes, they both air in Finland, suprisingly, because those overrated fuckfests like Invader Jim and Adventure Time never did. Anyways, let's see this fanfic written by asdf14, i hope you don't rage.
And suprisingly, this story goes to "Friendship/Suspense" category, and you know the rule, "When kid tries to turn show darker and edgier, it always fails". Anyways, let's review this crap.
Characters:
Skipper
Private
Rookie( has a crush on private)
Cadet(has a crush on skipper)
Jenna(kowalski's sister)
Kat(also has a crush on Rico)
Julietta (sadly has no crush)
Rico
Kowalski
Isau
Abbi (has a crush on Rico)
Killah(married to caleb)
Amelia(also sadly has no crush)
Caleb (married to Killah)
Mort
Maurice
King Julien
Rosie (mort's GF )
Brooke(KJ's gf)
Yasmine (Maurice's gf)
Marlene
I don't really know which one is who, but next we have SpengBab characters, i know most of them thanks to my limited watching of the show.
Sponge-bob
Sandy
Patrick
Squid-ward
Mr. Krabs
Sponge-bob's mom
Sponge-bob's dad
Larry
Katamy (Sponge-bob's sister)
Spongebob had a sister??? Ugh. Also, isn't Larry a cucumber from that christian show VeggieTales?
Kowalski: ok we are here at the Atlantic Ocean this should be perfect latitude 13 longitudes 46.
Skipper: ok boys you ready to catch the BIG one
Private: the th t big one
Skipper: Yes the BIG one
Curses! It was sex fanfic all along! Call the cops!
Rico: *holding a lit stick of dynamite* Kaboom kaboom!
Russian Problem Solve in a nutshell.
Skipper: *licks his flipper and puts out the fuse* not now rico
Rookie: not right now Rico maybe later
Maybe tomorrow!
Rico: awwwww maaan
Julian: what ze heck is the big one?
Skipper: gather around my friends, daughter, and Julian
Now you told me that The Big One is... a huge orgy??? Good grief, i've reviewed too many sex fanfics.
Kowalski: oh god not this story again you change it every time you tell it
Skipper: I do not I just add more details
Kowalski: well you've mentioned 50 different locations, 10 different scientists and one time an all-beef wiener
That sounds pervy.
Skipper: well duh it is important to the story
Private: not really skippah and by the way whatever did happen to the big one
Skipper: I will tell you if you let me finish the story
Private: but you haven't even stated skippah
Skipper: well I am now, so shut up
Private: ok
Skipper: it was a sunny day in 1989 my thoughts were short my hair was long-
"THIZ IZ SO FAEK,
FURST, PENGUINS DONT LIVE MORE THAN 20 YEARZ!!111
SEKOND, PENGUINS DONT HAVE HAIRS!!
THIRD, LEARN YOUR FAKTS YOU STUPID CARTOON KHID!!111 FUK U!"
That was sarcasm, you know.
Rookie: *interrupting him* daad the story
Skipper: oh right sorry I got carried away singing a song
Oh... that reminds me of a song...
 |
| WE'RE A BAND OF VICIOUS PIRATES... no that's not it. Stop dancing! |
Rookie: and btw your thoughts have never been short and your hair was never long
No shit.
Skipper: back to the story, it was a sunny day in 1956, us penguins were chillaxing at the old H.Q in southern France when our H.Q was destroyed by a huge reptile of some sort-
Private:*interrupting him* well why are we bringing fishing poles
Skipper: because it is a cover up
Well suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure it is...
Private: but how are we going to catch him at the ocean
Skipper: because he lives in a sewer right next to the ocean, back to the story the reptile was like 85 feet tall 30 feet wide and had razor sharp teeth he knocked down the left wall-
Private: yes it also took the wall of the bathroom, which I was using
bathrom joeks LOLLLL
Skipper: anyways that woke rico up , I was already awake, it was terrifying because that mutant ugly disgusting gross reptile stepped on our weekly supply of peanut butter winkies
Cadet: nooooo not the p.b winkies
Yes, P. B. Winkies will elect himself to be president of Serbia!!
Jenna and cat: *hugging each other* crying
Everyone accept for rookie and rico was crying
Just kidding, P. B. Winkies doesn't exist. OR DOES HE???
Skipper: its ok penguins and friends don't dwell on the past
Rico: ba to da stowi
Skipper: oh right we all got in a boat and tried to escape but mr reptile mc stupid pants knocked over the boat with his tail I flew back onto land and the other penguins flew halfway across the ocean
Rookie: was singing I believe I can fly splat she hit the water *making bubbling noises I bblleeb I cnnn ffllbiii*
What?
Skipper: back to the story read the next chapter and find out what happened next (if I finish it by then)
Okay i didn't stand it anyway...
Also, i've got to find more about that P. B. Winkies everyone are afraid of...
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Fortan Reviews Crap: WrestleCrap and CRAPHOLE THE WRESTLECRAP FORUM
Okay, today i was looking for some old posts i did on Craphole, "the official Wrestlecrap Forum" and also visited to see new topics, and i've got to admit, the name really tells everything.
This is really the Craphole of Wrestling Forums and everyone act there like RD Reynolds.
Speaking of RD, i'm going to review both Craphole and it's "father", the jolly good Wrestlecrap.
Well, the word "good" doesn't exist in WrestleCrap or Craphole.
What the fuck am i talking about, you ask? Okay...
Wrestlecrap is a site that reviews shitty wrestling-related things, some that aren't even that bad, but RD is still furious about that Big Show chokeslammed him on OVW Show, and keeps mocking everything Wrestling-related like 18-year old beerdrinking Something Awful-user. His jokes are mostly crapping on EVERYONE, from the cameraman to the fucking homeless man in the audience.
I am not going to tell that RD has done bad job here, the guy has inspired a lot of sites, including THE BLOG YOU'RE READING RIGHT NOW! And my failed This Crap of Site: http://thiscrapofsite.weebly.com/
But anyways, RD and his site is full of...stupid shit but it pretty much inspired the whole "500% pessimistic reviews with a lot of curse words, personal insults and dick jokes"-genre before AVGN.
Next, we have Craphole...
ugh.....
UGH!
Let's see a typical craphole thread...
THREAD TITLE: the problem with Punk's title reign
FIRST IMPRESSION: Smark explains why Punk's title reign is lame, he compares it to better wrestler's reigns and also few curse words, personal insults and dick jokes. Others rejoice and tell why Vince McMahon is gay.
THREAD ITSELF: http://newwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=wwe&action=display&thread=13874
WHAT IT REALLY WAS: Too short, and the poster was a 5-year old smark, i had no idea what he was trying to say...
But this Josh Spicer guy is really interesting, he called me a troll when i tried to show my honest opinions. Do you call RD a troll??? Nope.
However, some of the wrestling-related threads are far more interesting than in the other forums...
Such as, they imagine if they're stuck in elevator with Vinnie Mac...
Well, nobody seems to take the thread seriously, and is full of mythology gags, personal jokes, ambiguous attemps of trolling and thankfully, not attemps to kill him or making a dick joke...
And this is the reason why i still lurk in there, no matter am i banned or what. Sense of humour these guys have is much better than RD's. Those threads make me laugh.
Wait... i turned into a flame war between a hipster and utterly sarcastic dude, why those two guys haven't been banned yet????
Good and bad sides of Craphole, in same thread, how nice...
Hipster known as silentstranger, who is anything but silent, ugh, everytime i see this guy doing a post i know there will be personal insults, curse words, but no dick jokes because they're too mainstream.
His worst enemy is, suprisingly still not banned, Naim. Like i said, he is utterly sarcastic, not 4chan-sarcastic, he is that-kind-of-sarcastic. Sarcasm that you would see in English pubs, a sarcasm that hasn't been on pages for years. Naim still knows how to use this sarcasm.
Those two guys are always fighting, no matter what. That ruins the fucking atmosphere, funny when i showed my opinions, i got banned, by...sigh...Mr. Pitch.
This silly childish gimmick poster not only bans you, but also EMBARRASSES you completetly. He edits over the posts that he doesn't like. He bans everyone, but still, he hasn't banned silentstranger...
Also because this is a wrestling forum, it's obvious you can see oldfaggortism here too. But most of the people are actually oldfags, so it''s not typical "Cena Sucks Dick"...
It's lousy, annoying, whining that takes your good mood away and makes you hate everyone and everything.
That whining made me rage towards Wrestling and that's why i got banned.
Craphole has too many arguements, and makes me always bring in popcorn. They rarely leads to thread lock, because most of the mods are sarcastic and can't take anything seriously, and yeah, did i mention the whole forum doesn't have ANY FEMALE MEMBER??? If there's a girl, it's either banned or it's male in disguise (I'm looking at you, Scorpina) so there is no equality there.
They're funny but angry, and that angriness is usually laughable. So the entire existence of forum is just a big joke. And RD is the main clown of the circus of arguements, and silentstranger is the tax inspector, and Mr. Pitch is the one who drives tax inspectors away.
I wonder what happens when they find this post, i guess they make curse words, personal jokes aaaaaand of course dick jokes, you know why? Because they're
THE CRAPHOLE THE OFFICIAL WRESTLECRAP FORUM
This is really the Craphole of Wrestling Forums and everyone act there like RD Reynolds.
Speaking of RD, i'm going to review both Craphole and it's "father", the jolly good Wrestlecrap.
Well, the word "good" doesn't exist in WrestleCrap or Craphole.
What the fuck am i talking about, you ask? Okay...
Wrestlecrap is a site that reviews shitty wrestling-related things, some that aren't even that bad, but RD is still furious about that Big Show chokeslammed him on OVW Show, and keeps mocking everything Wrestling-related like 18-year old beerdrinking Something Awful-user. His jokes are mostly crapping on EVERYONE, from the cameraman to the fucking homeless man in the audience.
I am not going to tell that RD has done bad job here, the guy has inspired a lot of sites, including THE BLOG YOU'RE READING RIGHT NOW! And my failed This Crap of Site: http://thiscrapofsite.weebly.com/
But anyways, RD and his site is full of...stupid shit but it pretty much inspired the whole "500% pessimistic reviews with a lot of curse words, personal insults and dick jokes"-genre before AVGN.
Next, we have Craphole...
ugh.....
UGH!
Let's see a typical craphole thread...
THREAD TITLE: the problem with Punk's title reign
FIRST IMPRESSION: Smark explains why Punk's title reign is lame, he compares it to better wrestler's reigns and also few curse words, personal insults and dick jokes. Others rejoice and tell why Vince McMahon is gay.
THREAD ITSELF: http://newwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=wwe&action=display&thread=13874
WHAT IT REALLY WAS: Too short, and the poster was a 5-year old smark, i had no idea what he was trying to say...
But this Josh Spicer guy is really interesting, he called me a troll when i tried to show my honest opinions. Do you call RD a troll??? Nope.
However, some of the wrestling-related threads are far more interesting than in the other forums...
Such as, they imagine if they're stuck in elevator with Vinnie Mac...
Well, nobody seems to take the thread seriously, and is full of mythology gags, personal jokes, ambiguous attemps of trolling and thankfully, not attemps to kill him or making a dick joke...
And this is the reason why i still lurk in there, no matter am i banned or what. Sense of humour these guys have is much better than RD's. Those threads make me laugh.
Wait... i turned into a flame war between a hipster and utterly sarcastic dude, why those two guys haven't been banned yet????
Good and bad sides of Craphole, in same thread, how nice...
Hipster known as silentstranger, who is anything but silent, ugh, everytime i see this guy doing a post i know there will be personal insults, curse words, but no dick jokes because they're too mainstream.
His worst enemy is, suprisingly still not banned, Naim. Like i said, he is utterly sarcastic, not 4chan-sarcastic, he is that-kind-of-sarcastic. Sarcasm that you would see in English pubs, a sarcasm that hasn't been on pages for years. Naim still knows how to use this sarcasm.
Those two guys are always fighting, no matter what. That ruins the fucking atmosphere, funny when i showed my opinions, i got banned, by...sigh...Mr. Pitch.
This silly childish gimmick poster not only bans you, but also EMBARRASSES you completetly. He edits over the posts that he doesn't like. He bans everyone, but still, he hasn't banned silentstranger...
Also because this is a wrestling forum, it's obvious you can see oldfaggortism here too. But most of the people are actually oldfags, so it''s not typical "Cena Sucks Dick"...
It's lousy, annoying, whining that takes your good mood away and makes you hate everyone and everything.
That whining made me rage towards Wrestling and that's why i got banned.
Craphole has too many arguements, and makes me always bring in popcorn. They rarely leads to thread lock, because most of the mods are sarcastic and can't take anything seriously, and yeah, did i mention the whole forum doesn't have ANY FEMALE MEMBER??? If there's a girl, it's either banned or it's male in disguise (I'm looking at you, Scorpina) so there is no equality there.
They're funny but angry, and that angriness is usually laughable. So the entire existence of forum is just a big joke. And RD is the main clown of the circus of arguements, and silentstranger is the tax inspector, and Mr. Pitch is the one who drives tax inspectors away.
I wonder what happens when they find this post, i guess they make curse words, personal jokes aaaaaand of course dick jokes, you know why? Because they're
THE CRAPHOLE THE OFFICIAL WRESTLECRAP FORUM
Friday, January 4, 2013
Omnigiantess Community AKA why awesomex18 is an idiot
Okay, the following story is not a sexfanfic, it's more like "Take That" to some old community i used to belong into, until one idiot fucked it all up.
This isn't any Filthy Fanfiction Corner, this, is the story of popularity, giant sizes, wrong decisions, and fight for the heart of a girl...
This is the story of Omnigiantesses, and how i involved with it, and how i didn't involve with it.
It all started in the early 2012, when i made a bunch of shitty collages that gave me views thru deviantart's Omnigiantess group. That was pretty darn cheap way to get views.
However, one girl saw my collages and liked them a lot, no matter how much they sucked.
Her name, i mean username, was sexyasiangirl...
I, the cold one, who just had several arguments with Dave Fandom (they ignored me after that), fell in love with her.
She inspired me to make even more collages, that got a lot of attention and also introduced me to... awesomex18, shortly AX, the founder of the whole group so he was pretty much the big boss of all the bigger-than-planet stuff on deviantart, or at least he thought he was one. Where there is giga stuff, there is AX, and nobody can't avoid it.
Well, AX invited me into his forums and there i met a lot of cool people.
Well, cool and cool until i found out they were just AX's asskissers. Ugh.
There was also Bigger-Than-Big guy, he was awesome dude and not a foolish asskisser! Sadly he's no longer active, i guess it's because of AX's jerkass attitude.
I did more shit, until i started to bring in previous feuds into there, then AX got mad and started to remove my comments to not give forum a bad name. (While there was user called anybody, who acted like a /b/ user all the time, heck, not even Craphole has one, and it's a wrestling forum with hipsters and bronies!)
That annoyed me, and i did a boycott from Giantess collages, twice. But, sexyasiangirl brought me always back, i didn't help it, she was adorable, and still is.
But it finally rushed when i realized that AX was obviously made-up boss for the omnigiantess business in deviantart and some other places and i decided to tell my honest opinion, Not only that, but also his friend Trayx, (i forgot about him!) and the founder of forum, was being a worthless dictator in the forum and was the one who targeted me with personal insults. After little "rebellion" i got banned forever, and if AX ever sees me again he is blaming me, and has probadly told everyone in those fucking forums that i don't exist. Basically i've became the Chris Benoit of the Giantess business.
Only person who still remembers me is sexyasiangirl, he noted me few days ago and told he had stopped making collages, original me would've cried, but nowadays i don't care about it much...
Now, after half a year, i returned to Omnigiantess forum to see what they were up with, and, i was disgusted.
90% of the images were shitty self-repeating MMD Images made by AX's friend, who is only friend so AX can give him requests.
Kasuko-Sa... i mean, kasuko-san, ugh, personality-lacking, crappy model making, (All the girls she creates look incredibly similar) and... errr... BORING "artist" gets all the fame and not any of the GOOD ART gets into the featured section. And no, i'm not meaning myself, my stuff was crap
Also look at one of the most recent comments someone gave to him:
Your work is incredibly done. Just wishing to express my admiration for it.
I'm sure this guy was just being sarcastic, kasuko-san's "work" is just a bunch of shitty models taken from different angles and without any kind of a plot on 'em. Yet AX forced me to use some kind of plot for my collages WHAT
I can't really blame kasuko-san, it's possible that he can't draw like me, i just think he doesn't deserve... that much. Unless he's a girl like sexyasiangirl. But no, profile states me that he's a man. He is either emo or AX just likes him because he keeps making his requests, i guess it's the later one.
I still like omnigiant stuff, no matter how idiotic AX is about it, if i see a good one i will like it.
I would like to find DNAPalmhead's "Super Smash Bros"-comic, it's not really giantess stuff, but, it might be the biggest growth thing of all time and beats AX's dull stories ANYTIME.
This isn't any Filthy Fanfiction Corner, this, is the story of popularity, giant sizes, wrong decisions, and fight for the heart of a girl...
This is the story of Omnigiantesses, and how i involved with it, and how i didn't involve with it.
It all started in the early 2012, when i made a bunch of shitty collages that gave me views thru deviantart's Omnigiantess group. That was pretty darn cheap way to get views.
However, one girl saw my collages and liked them a lot, no matter how much they sucked.
Her name, i mean username, was sexyasiangirl...
I, the cold one, who just had several arguments with Dave Fandom (they ignored me after that), fell in love with her.
She inspired me to make even more collages, that got a lot of attention and also introduced me to... awesomex18, shortly AX, the founder of the whole group so he was pretty much the big boss of all the bigger-than-planet stuff on deviantart, or at least he thought he was one. Where there is giga stuff, there is AX, and nobody can't avoid it.
Well, AX invited me into his forums and there i met a lot of cool people.
Well, cool and cool until i found out they were just AX's asskissers. Ugh.
There was also Bigger-Than-Big guy, he was awesome dude and not a foolish asskisser! Sadly he's no longer active, i guess it's because of AX's jerkass attitude.
I did more shit, until i started to bring in previous feuds into there, then AX got mad and started to remove my comments to not give forum a bad name. (While there was user called anybody, who acted like a /b/ user all the time, heck, not even Craphole has one, and it's a wrestling forum with hipsters and bronies!)
That annoyed me, and i did a boycott from Giantess collages, twice. But, sexyasiangirl brought me always back, i didn't help it, she was adorable, and still is.
But it finally rushed when i realized that AX was obviously made-up boss for the omnigiantess business in deviantart and some other places and i decided to tell my honest opinion, Not only that, but also his friend Trayx, (i forgot about him!) and the founder of forum, was being a worthless dictator in the forum and was the one who targeted me with personal insults. After little "rebellion" i got banned forever, and if AX ever sees me again he is blaming me, and has probadly told everyone in those fucking forums that i don't exist. Basically i've became the Chris Benoit of the Giantess business.
Only person who still remembers me is sexyasiangirl, he noted me few days ago and told he had stopped making collages, original me would've cried, but nowadays i don't care about it much...
Now, after half a year, i returned to Omnigiantess forum to see what they were up with, and, i was disgusted.
90% of the images were shitty self-repeating MMD Images made by AX's friend, who is only friend so AX can give him requests.
Kasuko-Sa... i mean, kasuko-san, ugh, personality-lacking, crappy model making, (All the girls she creates look incredibly similar) and... errr... BORING "artist" gets all the fame and not any of the GOOD ART gets into the featured section. And no, i'm not meaning myself, my stuff was crap
Also look at one of the most recent comments someone gave to him:
Your work is incredibly done. Just wishing to express my admiration for it.
I'm sure this guy was just being sarcastic, kasuko-san's "work" is just a bunch of shitty models taken from different angles and without any kind of a plot on 'em. Yet AX forced me to use some kind of plot for my collages WHAT
I can't really blame kasuko-san, it's possible that he can't draw like me, i just think he doesn't deserve... that much. Unless he's a girl like sexyasiangirl. But no, profile states me that he's a man. He is either emo or AX just likes him because he keeps making his requests, i guess it's the later one.
I still like omnigiant stuff, no matter how idiotic AX is about it, if i see a good one i will like it.
I would like to find DNAPalmhead's "Super Smash Bros"-comic, it's not really giantess stuff, but, it might be the biggest growth thing of all time and beats AX's dull stories ANYTIME.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner: First Taste of Love
Ahhhh, love. No matter do you love real people or fictional characters, you're still in love.
Don't get me wrong! I am a good lover, if i would have a chance! It's just that "marrying" and "mother-in-law" parts that make me avoid big love...
Also these "lemonfics" make me avoid love because these guys don't know what sex really is! Well i don't know either, but according to our school books it doesn't have pleasure screams and other shit you see in porn.
I'm sorry, i promised you i wouldn't review a lemon fanfic, but i didn't found any ridiculous crossovers or stupid story arcs that i could review.
This story tells us about the "First Taste of Love", also known as sex. Oh? Did i mention what fanfic this exactly is?
It's Lucky Star Fanfic.
Yeah, dude! So we have two little girl's suck each other vaginas! And maybe there will be some vibrators too!
Well, it's still better than two male antromorphic animals having sex, and that was the first fanfic i reviewed!
Let's start reading this fanfic, which has been written by... B25Mitch??? Why all these guys need to have a "bitch" in their username? It makes them look pimpy dudes with hat and co...no i'm not putting this again.
Anyways, enjoy! I mean, Do not enjoy! Even if you liked this show! DO NOT ENJOY ABOUT THE FANFIC!
Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki were sitting around a table at lunch talking about various things when Konata interrupted, "We need to have a sleepover."
"Shut up, Kid!" Miyuki told. "That's girls stuff!"
"Where did that come from all of a sudden?" Kagami asked.
"Well, there's a long weekend coming up, so I just thought…" Konata's voice trailed off. She took a bite of her lunch to occupy her mouth.
"We could have sex!"
"I think a sleepover would be agood bad idea," said Miyuki.
Konata started to say something, but Tsukasa interrupted with, "Are you offering your house, Miyuki?"
Miyuki replied with, "Actually, my mom is a little sick right now."
"She keeps screaming my fathers name and breaks things up with an axe."
"My house is," Konata tried to say.
"Well our parents are going out of town, so that's out," said Kagami.
Why can't you go there? For a secret meeting! It's a bunch of lesbian little girls after all...
"But I…" Konata tried again.
Tsukasa said, "I guess we can't have a sleepover then."
Nobody cares about Konata because she's a vanilla midget.
"PLEASE EVERYBODY COME TO MY HOUSE!!!!" Konata screamed, which caused everyone in the classroom to turn and look.
Making herself look like an attention whore... GOOD JOB!
Kagami replied sheepishly, "If it's ok…"
"Of course it is. I'll just have to tell my dad not to do anything weird.
???
Plus, Yui has the weekend off, so she'll be there."
Yui is dead! Oh wait, wrong show.
That Friday, the four girls arrived at Konata's house after school. A creepy looking unshaven man with scruffy blue hair, wearing robes and a dust mask, greeted them at the door.
Drunk Ric Flair!
Despite his harried appearance, the girls were unfazed. Konata said, "Hey dad. The girls are sleeping over remember? Get some clothes on." A single tear ran down Soujirou's cheek.
Why did crazy pedophile wanted children? Konata's life must suck ass...
As the girls entered Yui poked her head out of the kitchen. "Hey girls. I'm making a hot pot for dinner."
Oh god, stop stereotyping! Just because i live in Finland, it doesn't mean i always eat salmon!
The smoke detector went off. "Oh god! It's boiling over!" After several minutes of banging and cursing, Yui poked her head out again. "How does instant curry over rice sound?"
I forgot they lived in China! Where are the censoring politicians and slaves on stone mines?
While the girls were setting up the Wii
Playstation is better! At least the original one! And SNES is better than Wii too, but only because of DKC! I have SNES!
for the night's games, Konata called out to Yui, "Can you make mine over a Cup Noodle?"
"Ew. Curry over shrimp ramen?" Kagami asked.
"I am going to have sex tonight, i need weird food" Konata said.
"Absolutely," Konata said, "I saw someone do it in a show, so I tried it and I liked it."
"I think I'll stick with rice."
Yui brought the dinner out from the kitchen and placed it on the table. Five bowls of curry over rice and one of curry over ramen.
"I'm a problem child!"Ralph Wiggum Konata Izumi said.
Once Yui had sat down, they all began eating.
Time to set the bait. Konata thought, and said, "Hey dad, did the new Robot Wars game we ordered come in yet?"
"Yes," her father said, "I put it on you desk." This piqued Kagami's interest, but she held it in. I'll have to check that out later, she thought.
"Hey Konata, can I try out that new game later?" Kagami asked.
D'Aaawww, she's just like me when i was a little boy. And she's a girl
"Sure," Konata said, "How about right after dinner, let the others play Wii first."
What if that game was for Wii?? You know, Wii is a Japanese "game".
Kagami agreed and the rest of dinner went uneventfully.
After dinner, Konata grinned wildly as Kagami practically dragged Konata to her room. "All is going perfectly to plan."
"I am going to kill Kagami and take his panties..."
"Hey Kagamin, I have to go to the bathroom. My dad said the game was on my desk, so can you start getting it installed?" Konata asked.
Konata peeked through the cracked open bathroom door as Kagami opened the box. She pulled out the game and underneath it was an object in a clear plastic clamshell package. Kagami picked it up. It was two pink devices connected by a length of cord. One was egg shaped, about an inch across, the other was rectangular, and was sized to nicely fit in the palm of the hand. The label read, "Bullet Style Corded Personal Massager with Bonus Trial of Happy Rabbit Lubricating Oil."
Oh no! It's an Easter Ornament from Middle-East! Somebody call CIA!
Kagami read the label and started to think, why would it come with lubri-, when the truth dawned on her. She dropped the box in shock and tentatively called out, "Konata, I think your box got mixed up with someone else's."
Konata came out of the bathroom, playing ignorant. "What was that?" She looked down at the box on the floor. "Oh good, my vibe came."
WHAT??!!! You're about 5 years old! You aren't supposed to masturbate until you're 14!
Kagami was shocked. "You bought one of those? You ma- m-"
MA'AM!
"Masturbate?" Konata offered.
"Don't say it out loud!"
You can masturbate without vibrator you know, just ask me! Or Shinji Ikari...
"Oh Kagamin," Konata said smoothly, sliding up close behind her. She whispered in her ear, "You can't tell me you've never done it. You're all alone, you feel a yearning in your loins…" Konata slid her hand up the front of Kagami's thigh.
Konata is disgusting...
Kagami, surprised, pushed Konata away. "Y- you're disgusting."
WHAT DID I SAY??
"Come on Kagami. We're all friends here," Konata said, then added sweetly, "I really like you, Kagamin."
Not again...
Kagami backed away and said, "This joke has gone far enough!"
"Right. Joke," Kagami said dejectedly. She took a deep breath, looked at the floor, and struggled not to cry.
Kagami, seriously, you're being harassed by 5-year old, just run away or call the cops!
"Y- you're really serious, aren't you?"
Konata said sobbingly, "Kagami, you," before bursting into a huge smile. "This is just too much. You're so cute."
Say that to boys, you fucking lesbian!
"You're terrible. I felt really bad. It was all a lie?"
THE END
"Well, not all of it," Konata said, taking Kagami's hand. "I really do like you."
"Don't try to trick me again."
"I'm not." Konata pressed Kagami's hand against her chest. "Feel how hard my heart is beating?"
"Konata…"
"Can I… Can I kiss you?"
I lost it... What they were talking about again...?
Standing in the center of the room, they embraced and kissed deeply. Their clumsy tongues explored new mouths for the first time.
Why EVERY SINGLE lemonfic i read has to have that tongue-exploring thing? Come up with something original already!
When their lips parted, Konata said, "That was better that I ever imagined."
So you actually imagined???!!! Go to therapist, problem child!
Konata began unbuttoning Kagami's shirt while nibbling on her neck.
"We can't do this," Kagami said.
"Why not?"
"We're too young."
"We're both 18."
WHAT?? So this takes its place into far future?
"We're both girls."
No shit.
"That doesn't bother me," Konata said as she slipped Kagami's shirt off her shoulders. Kagami moaned softly as Konata kissed her stomach. "Will you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?"
Nope, i offer cheeseburgers, with YELLOW Fries! And also add those Coca-Cola rip-offs as a drink too!
Kagami sighed heavily and stroked her friend's hair. "OK, Konata. Make me feel good."
Just plug in SNES.
They moved to sit side by side on the bed, half turned toward the other. With quick nervous breaths they undressed each other. "Just relax," Konata said.
Konata made Kagami lay down on the bed, and crawled up next to her.
She kissed Kagami gently on the chest around her small, soft breasts.
Konata's mouth found Kagami's right nipple and her hand found the other.
The stimulation made Kagami's breath to go erratic. Konata planted
kisses up Kagami's neck to her lips. They kissed furiously as Konata's
hand slid snake-like down Kagami's torso to reach a small tuft of purple
hair.
Kagami was surprised at how comfortable she felt being touched by her friend. She let herself melt into the pleasure. BLAH BLAH BLAH
Konata hovered over her friend. They rubbed their small, sensitive breasts against each other's, teasing their nipples.
Suddenly NIBBLA! *CHOMP*
Konata slid down and licked her friend's pussy, pausing at the clitoris, her tongue dancing in circles around the tiny pink protrusion. Kagami got up on her elbows, head back, eyes closed, breathing heavily. Her breaths turned to shaky gasps as Konata wrapped her lips around the clitoris and sucked on it. When Konata gently squeezed the clit with her teeth, Kagami lost control of her arms. She fell onto her back. Her eyes were tearing and she was moaning uncontrollably.
Okay enough of this facking bullshit!
Konata stopped sucking and licked her lips. "I'm going to put my finger inside you, ok?"
Kagami
managed to eke out an 'ok'. Konata went back to sucking Kagami's clit.
Her left hand went up to Kagami's breast, playing with the nipple. Her
right hand toyed with her friend's hole. She put her finger in to the
first knuckle. Kagami gasped. Konata's left hand left the breast and
went down to her own pussy. She desperately wanted Kagami to touch her,
but she affirmed herself that her friend's pleasure came first.
Konata
slipped her entire index finger into Kagami's pussy. Kagami bucked her
hips. She dug her fingernails into her palms, gripping the sheets. Moans
erupted from Kagami's throat as Konata rubbed the tip of her finger
against the inside of her friend's hole.
Kagami tries to speak,
"Ko- Konata, there's a- a tightness. AH! In my a- abdomen. Hah, hah, oh,
right there. My- my body's tensing up!"
Konata takes her finger
out and sucks on the hole with her mouth. She slips her tongue in,
massaging Kagami's clit with her fingers. With her mouth working the
hole, her nose rubs against her clit.
Kagami's body spasmed. "It's too much! I can't take it! I'm going to die! AAAHHH!"
Kagami's
body shook as she orgasmed. Her vagina contracted, squirting liquid
into Konata's mouth. This flow of cum drove Konata over the edge. She
orgasmed immediately after her friend. Both girls lay on the bed
panting.
Konata crawled up next to Kagami and they kissed. Kagami said, "I don't know what to say. I love you so much."
Okay, this was the same bullshit as always. I promise i'll give you something new next...
Don't get me wrong! I am a good lover, if i would have a chance! It's just that "marrying" and "mother-in-law" parts that make me avoid big love...
Also these "lemonfics" make me avoid love because these guys don't know what sex really is! Well i don't know either, but according to our school books it doesn't have pleasure screams and other shit you see in porn.
I'm sorry, i promised you i wouldn't review a lemon fanfic, but i didn't found any ridiculous crossovers or stupid story arcs that i could review.
This story tells us about the "First Taste of Love", also known as sex. Oh? Did i mention what fanfic this exactly is?
It's Lucky Star Fanfic.
Yeah, dude! So we have two little girl's suck each other vaginas! And maybe there will be some vibrators too!
Well, it's still better than two male antromorphic animals having sex, and that was the first fanfic i reviewed!
Let's start reading this fanfic, which has been written by... B25Mitch??? Why all these guys need to have a "bitch" in their username? It makes them look pimpy dudes with hat and co...no i'm not putting this again.
Anyways, enjoy! I mean, Do not enjoy! Even if you liked this show! DO NOT ENJOY ABOUT THE FANFIC!
Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki were sitting around a table at lunch talking about various things when Konata interrupted, "We need to have a sleepover."
"Shut up, Kid!" Miyuki told. "That's girls stuff!"
"Where did that come from all of a sudden?" Kagami asked.
"Well, there's a long weekend coming up, so I just thought…" Konata's voice trailed off. She took a bite of her lunch to occupy her mouth.
"We could have sex!"
"I think a sleepover would be a
Konata started to say something, but Tsukasa interrupted with, "Are you offering your house, Miyuki?"
Miyuki replied with, "Actually, my mom is a little sick right now."
"She keeps screaming my fathers name and breaks things up with an axe."
"My house is," Konata tried to say.
"Well our parents are going out of town, so that's out," said Kagami.
Why can't you go there? For a secret meeting! It's a bunch of lesbian little girls after all...
"But I…" Konata tried again.
Tsukasa said, "I guess we can't have a sleepover then."
Nobody cares about Konata because she's a vanilla midget.
"PLEASE EVERYBODY COME TO MY HOUSE!!!!" Konata screamed, which caused everyone in the classroom to turn and look.
Making herself look like an attention whore... GOOD JOB!
Kagami replied sheepishly, "If it's ok…"
"Of course it is. I'll just have to tell my dad not to do anything weird.
???
Plus, Yui has the weekend off, so she'll be there."
Yui is dead! Oh wait, wrong show.
That Friday, the four girls arrived at Konata's house after school. A creepy looking unshaven man with scruffy blue hair, wearing robes and a dust mask, greeted them at the door.
Drunk Ric Flair!
Despite his harried appearance, the girls were unfazed. Konata said, "Hey dad. The girls are sleeping over remember? Get some clothes on." A single tear ran down Soujirou's cheek.
Why did crazy pedophile wanted children? Konata's life must suck ass...
As the girls entered Yui poked her head out of the kitchen. "Hey girls. I'm making a hot pot for dinner."
Oh god, stop stereotyping! Just because i live in Finland, it doesn't mean i always eat salmon!
The smoke detector went off. "Oh god! It's boiling over!" After several minutes of banging and cursing, Yui poked her head out again. "How does instant curry over rice sound?"
I forgot they lived in China! Where are the censoring politicians and slaves on stone mines?
While the girls were setting up the Wii
Playstation is better! At least the original one! And SNES is better than Wii too, but only because of DKC! I have SNES!
for the night's games, Konata called out to Yui, "Can you make mine over a Cup Noodle?"
"Ew. Curry over shrimp ramen?" Kagami asked.
"I am going to have sex tonight, i need weird food" Konata said.
"Absolutely," Konata said, "I saw someone do it in a show, so I tried it and I liked it."
"I think I'll stick with rice."
Yui brought the dinner out from the kitchen and placed it on the table. Five bowls of curry over rice and one of curry over ramen.
"I'm a problem child!"
Once Yui had sat down, they all began eating.
Time to set the bait. Konata thought, and said, "Hey dad, did the new Robot Wars game we ordered come in yet?"
 | |
| Those Girls are pretty badass... no pun intended. |
"Hey Konata, can I try out that new game later?" Kagami asked.
D'Aaawww, she's just like me when i was a little boy. And she's a girl
"Sure," Konata said, "How about right after dinner, let the others play Wii first."
What if that game was for Wii?? You know, Wii is a Japanese "game".
Kagami agreed and the rest of dinner went uneventfully.
After dinner, Konata grinned wildly as Kagami practically dragged Konata to her room. "All is going perfectly to plan."
"I am going to kill Kagami and take his panties..."
"Hey Kagamin, I have to go to the bathroom. My dad said the game was on my desk, so can you start getting it installed?" Konata asked.
Konata peeked through the cracked open bathroom door as Kagami opened the box. She pulled out the game and underneath it was an object in a clear plastic clamshell package. Kagami picked it up. It was two pink devices connected by a length of cord. One was egg shaped, about an inch across, the other was rectangular, and was sized to nicely fit in the palm of the hand. The label read, "Bullet Style Corded Personal Massager with Bonus Trial of Happy Rabbit Lubricating Oil."
Oh no! It's an Easter Ornament from Middle-East! Somebody call CIA!
Kagami read the label and started to think, why would it come with lubri-, when the truth dawned on her. She dropped the box in shock and tentatively called out, "Konata, I think your box got mixed up with someone else's."
Konata came out of the bathroom, playing ignorant. "What was that?" She looked down at the box on the floor. "Oh good, my vibe came."
WHAT??!!! You're about 5 years old! You aren't supposed to masturbate until you're 14!
Kagami was shocked. "You bought one of those? You ma- m-"
MA'AM!
"Masturbate?" Konata offered.
"Don't say it out loud!"
You can masturbate without vibrator you know, just ask me! Or Shinji Ikari...
"Oh Kagamin," Konata said smoothly, sliding up close behind her. She whispered in her ear, "You can't tell me you've never done it. You're all alone, you feel a yearning in your loins…" Konata slid her hand up the front of Kagami's thigh.
Konata is disgusting...
Kagami, surprised, pushed Konata away. "Y- you're disgusting."
WHAT DID I SAY??
"Come on Kagami. We're all friends here," Konata said, then added sweetly, "I really like you, Kagamin."
Not again...
Kagami backed away and said, "This joke has gone far enough!"
"Right. Joke," Kagami said dejectedly. She took a deep breath, looked at the floor, and struggled not to cry.
Kagami, seriously, you're being harassed by 5-year old, just run away or call the cops!
"Y- you're really serious, aren't you?"
 |
| LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF ARE YOU SERIOUS! I'M DEE-OH-DOUBLE-GEE AND BY MY SIDE AS ALWAYS, JOSH "BOILING HOT POT" MATTHEWS |
Konata said sobbingly, "Kagami, you," before bursting into a huge smile. "This is just too much. You're so cute."
Say that to boys, you fucking lesbian!
"You're terrible. I felt really bad. It was all a lie?"
"Well, not all of it," Konata said, taking Kagami's hand. "I really do like you."
"Don't try to trick me again."
"I'm not." Konata pressed Kagami's hand against her chest. "Feel how hard my heart is beating?"
"Konata…"
"Can I… Can I kiss you?"
I lost it... What they were talking about again...?
Standing in the center of the room, they embraced and kissed deeply. Their clumsy tongues explored new mouths for the first time.
Why EVERY SINGLE lemonfic i read has to have that tongue-exploring thing? Come up with something original already!
When their lips parted, Konata said, "That was better that I ever imagined."
So you actually imagined???!!! Go to therapist, problem child!
Konata began unbuttoning Kagami's shirt while nibbling on her neck.
"We can't do this," Kagami said.
"Why not?"
"We're too young."
"We're both 18."
WHAT?? So this takes its place into far future?
"We're both girls."
No shit.
"That doesn't bother me," Konata said as she slipped Kagami's shirt off her shoulders. Kagami moaned softly as Konata kissed her stomach. "Will you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?"
Nope, i offer cheeseburgers, with YELLOW Fries! And also add those Coca-Cola rip-offs as a drink too!
Kagami sighed heavily and stroked her friend's hair. "OK, Konata. Make me feel good."
Just plug in SNES.
They moved to sit side by side on the bed, half turned toward the other. With quick nervous breaths they undressed each other. "Just relax," Konata said.
Konata hovered over her friend. They rubbed their small, sensitive breasts against each other's, teasing their nipples.
Suddenly NIBBLA! *CHOMP*
Konata slid down and licked her friend's pussy, pausing at the clitoris, her tongue dancing in circles around the tiny pink protrusion. Kagami got up on her elbows, head back, eyes closed, breathing heavily. Her breaths turned to shaky gasps as Konata wrapped her lips around the clitoris and sucked on it. When Konata gently squeezed the clit with her teeth, Kagami lost control of her arms. She fell onto her back. Her eyes were tearing and she was moaning uncontrollably.
Okay enough of this facking bullshit!
Okay, this was the same bullshit as always. I promise i'll give you something new next...
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