Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction: Two Peter Chimaera Fanfics!

Okay, Donkey Dudes. It's time to review another infamously bad fanfiction, expect this time there are more than one! All written by Peter Chimei... i mean, Peter Chimaera! This dude gave inspiration to whole "And Then Jon was a zombie"-Meme. But i dislike both memes and zombies, so let's move on. (I'm still not 4channer though, i don't hate the meme if it's used RIGHT! Zombies in other hand are too mainstream and can be never used right.)

First fanfic by him is "My Litte Ponly: Friendship is Danger!"

So we are going to encouter Swedish Pony-men that are trying to teach us Friendship is dangerous?
Oh, i'm not a brony. So i generally dislike everything about MLP, swallow your hate my friend, swallow it.

So let's review this thing:

Friendship is Danger
Chapter One
Rainbow Dahs woked up and went to at the garden
Hello Rainbow Dash "said " a girl pony who wa named Flyhoof.

You know, at least some fanponies had CREATIVE names.

"OK hello Flyhoof I have never met you at before?"
"No I am a new pony and we have to find Applyjack"

That Pony who spammed the "Apply Now" button? Yeah, that was the hardest boss in the game.
How do exactly Ponies "come" to Ponyville? From what i've seen from Deviantart there must be about googolplex ponies with most of them being expies of famous characters. I guess no world in a place could fit that amount of beings into one place?

First Rainbow Dash went to Applejack's house and they ate a apple pie

Brought to you by Hulk Hogan.

 and then they went to the space base where they had to get ready to go into space

Whoa! What happened? Did i missed something?

"Put on your space suit Rainbow Dash"
"OK"

AND THEN JON WAS A ZOMBIE

And then when they landed on the moon aeverything was okay

Expect this

and they had a picnic but they coudlnt eat because they had to keep their space suits on so it was only a pretend picnic

 YOU GUYS HAVE IMAGINATION LIKE SPONGEBOB!

but while they were gone a hundred disasters happend

You see, the moon crashed on Earth. And when Moon crashes it's one huge disaster, and then under chain reaction hundred other disasters also happen. Animals die, houses get burned, wars and infighting come after it and also possible attacks of Eldritch Abomination.

Yes i'm trying to make sense out of this fanfic, got a problem with that?

"We have to go back to" Flyhoof said. Flyhoof was a pegasaur but she had horn like unicorn but it didnt do anything.

Pegasaur? New dinosaur species has been found by 8-year old fanfiction writer, Pegasaur! They can be live in moon with space suits! And they have a horn like unicorns! They eat Apple Pies so they are herbivores! They became excint way faster than others.

So they went bck to Unietd Equestraland

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Volkoff requests, that you all rise and respect the singing of Soviet national anthem!

and found Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle and the other one and then they went to solve the disasters

The Other One is the best pony.

First they found a corcodile

NOW IN 3 SIZES

 and they kicked its head and it went "Oof"

Like, that Corcodile had no teeth at all right?

and then gave back all the children it ate

And those were HIS OWN CHILDREN. Have you watched animal documents?

and they were fine but it wasn't time to say horay

This makes MLP look bad.

and they had to get to the job deal done if they wanted to solve the rest of the disasters and the crocodile felt bad and offered to help them "My name is Crunch"

"NAMED AFTER MY FAVOURITE FOOD"

 "I am Raindbow Dash and these are my friends" and they all went to find the big tree that was burning down

"MOSES!" Tree said. "HERE'S GOD! YOU MUST FREE THE PEOPLE OF EGYPT AND TAKE THEM TO THE PROMISED LAND!"

so they put out the burning tree

"NO, YOU CAN'T DENY THIS OFFER! I MAY BE A GOD BUT I'M ALSO BILLY MAYS!"

"We have to not go in the forest because it is danger"

"And i don't like German names!"

and they went into the forest and Fluttershy got caught in a beartrap and then she died

THE END.

"Fluttershy is dead oh no"

Did The Cheat direct this?

"OK"

No, i'm definetly sure this is the same person who brought us Waligie.

"We will find a key"

What? Where was i?

"Please of hurrying my leg is very much blood" Fluttershy said with cry

NO! THIS WAS WRITTEN BY TARA GILESBIE! SAME BAD GRAMMAR, SAME RANDOM RECOVERS! AND SAME USE OF BLOOD! I HAVE SOLVED A MYSTERY! NOW GIVE ME NOBEL!

So they found a lumberjack pony who came with axe

 And made sure Fluttershy stayed dead...

and cut the bear trap off but he got lost. Alog the way they solved almost all the other disasters aand then found the lumberjack but he was very sick

Can somebody explain to me what did this say? All i saw was just a bunch of words...

"I was bitten by a poisoned snake" he explared

"That's my brother, Snickers!" Crunch shouted.

"That is nt true you are halucinating and you just got a toad posion"

"That's my sister, Twix!" Crunch shouted.

"But I did not eat a toid"

A name given to a jackass from new york who cant say the words like "thirty" and say it whith a stupidass accent like "toidy".  source: Urban Dictionary.

"It does not matter some toads are poisonosu even if you look at them at their eyes"

Poisonosu is my least favourite Touhou.

Authors note im not sure if this true or not but it s part of tht story

I'm not sure should i facepalm or just laugh.

So the lumberjack was solved of the last disaster and everyone was safe.

What happened? Was it a comet? Or maybe a troll?

but Fulltershy could not talk because she was shot and the blood was everywhere. And then Fluttershy coughed and a hundred blood came out then she went nothing and everyone sadded.

This is the greatest sentence ever written.

One day they will all would learn to live their lifes without Futtershy who was dead.

 One day this artist will learn to write.

This was probably the best worst fanfic i've seen for a while!

But wait! There's more!

The next is: The Simpsons Dinner!

Chapter OIne

What a nice way tOI start the fanfic. I am excited hOIw this will cOIntinue...

Marge had to tell the Homer news. "I am glucky that my sisters are coming over do dinner"

Glucky is Lucky with G accidentally slipped on it. Source: COMMON SENSE

"OH DOH" and he dropped his hammer on foot because he was fixing dog house of Sanas little holper

I am too lazy to explain what is Sana and why he needs Holper.
Also i'm suprised they haven't used Oh D'Oh yet on the real show.

when the big news came and he was so shocked of anger that he dorped it right on his so much toes.

This is the lost episode of Simpsons! Right after Dead Bart! In Couch Gag there is 9/11 joke.

Chapter Two they come over

That was the shortest chapter of all time.

Pass the onions "No, Selma" and Homer ate so many opork chops that he went "I dont feel so good" and ran to the bathroom "Hwere did homer go"

I really need to create a comic version of this. My horrible drawing style will make this look even so-bad-it's-good-kind of better.

 "He went to bathroom dont call your father homer"

Like you didn't even tell who said it... It was that spike-haired bastard who speaks Spanish.

And maggie create suck noise

You don't have to write this, Nobody gives a shit about Maggie.

and shurgged her shoulders because it is all about homers eating too much all the time.

Pretty much every episode is the same these days.

Mr. Burns cammed over and rung the doorbelt.
Marge took off her apron "Ill get it. don't be a hurry" 

Wait, Burns doesn't even know Homer. How does he know that where Sector 7G loser lives?

But turns out at the door it was Mr. Burns!

Like we didn't knew that!

"I am doing off hours performance review and I need to speech to Homer Simpsons or he gets fired"

It's not Mr. Burns! It's Smithers after he married him!

"But he is in bathroom?what a predicament"

Chapter Three Homer has to get his job back
"Mr. Burns I missed performance review but wanted to get my old job back"
"No it is too late I have replaced you with ned F;landers"

DOES NED EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE NUCLEAR REACTOR??! He isn't Homer's rival goddamnit!

"doh"
"Googly doo mr. Homer I am workling at that power plant you work at"
"Ho home flanders"

It's Christmas!

"Okalaydokalry
But he thought it was Mr. Burns telling him and went hom so Dr. Burns had to fire him!

"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. And this is my wife, Dr. Burns."

Chapter four
"Hahahahayou lost your job" Homer said to Flanders and Falnders house

Falnders House lost it's job? Too bad for him. I guess the Griffin's House was way more superior on whatever-job-he-did.

where they were having barbeque to celebrate Ned Flanders birthday

Barbeque's and Birthdays are a sin!

"It was a pickle"

Ned Flanders's Secret Episode 4.5

"UR NOT MAD" And homer went home and slamped the door on his foot "not again on my foot" and zelma was still there and laughed at him badly and so did others like bumblebeeman

A/N: Bumblebeeman is my favorate Simson!

also but Peater Graffin did not since hes on a different show.

You mean, Peter Griffin from Family Guy or, Beater Graffin from Mythology Wresslin' Super?

That was bad!

Thankfully i'm not going to review more. But this guy is an obvious troll! I like this! This is the best Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner i've ever written. And really pays for My Immortal and Rape Bandicoot!