Dave McDonalds Rants: WHITE JACKETS????

i saw this shit today and it fucking sucked. seriously, a white jacket??? for me? dave mcdonalds?
if you want to find out what the fuck is this, then watch this picture.

do you see that? i look like a motherfucking child cartoon character!!!! i am uglier than mouse nicky!

FUCKING NICKY YOU STOLE MY ARMANDO! YOU AREN'T EVEN THAT HOT! YOU KNOW WHAT NICKY? GO KILL YOURSELF, YES, COMMIT SUICIDE! SLICE YOUR THROAT OPEN! I SAW YOUR TUMBLR AND IT FUCKING SUCKED! AND DON'T TRY TO SHOW YOUR UGLY FACE AND SCREAM "NICKY" ON MY FACE FOR TEN HOURS STRAIGHT! HERE IN  CROATIA I'M HAVING MY GUNS ALREADY! I WANT MY BLUE SHIRT BACK EVEN ARMANDO LIKES IT!

FUCK WORLD AND IT'S PREGATORY!!!!

Not Caring doesn't matter anymore.

For all these years i've heard how much people don't care about me. How they don't give a fuck, shit or anything what i do, what i say and what i think.

But you know what? That is just too silly, i mean, why should anyone tell me that they don't care what i do? That doesn't weaken me, that just wants me to do more.

"Anything i say doesn't mean anything anymore".

WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN BY THAT? That i don't matter anymore? Listen up, just because YOU say it doesn't matter does it mean it really matters? It's just YOUR Opinion. When i say it, it's the truth because i am the target, i am the person does all the things that do not matter to you. If i would say it doesn't matter, THEN it wouldn't matter.

I can tell whatever i fucking want, this is internet. Here's the freedom of speech, so i can say what i want to, act how i want to, mock who i want to and DO what i want to.

And if you think i have no life, it's just your opinion, even if i showed up once a year you would STILL tell me i have no life, besides "YOU HAVE NO LIFE"-skit is old shit and only newfags use it.

Listen up, i am making good numbers at school, i DO have a life, because i have a time to improve it.

Telling me that you don't give a fuck, that is just pathetic and you're too lazy to see that bullshit, and you might be even afraid! So in that logic, you're a pussy. So when you say "I don't care" or something like that you're really saying "I don't bother to see your stuff because i'm a huge coward and i don't want to see your shit because i'm afraid i might get butthurt."

So it's better to see it or just stay fucking silent.

Also, telling me to "leave" or "shut the fuck up" NEVER works, do you really think words can hurt. I've seen many insults, and words hurt more when they're shouted STRAIGHT ON YOUR FACE. Internet is a different thing, or then it's just me.

You see, everything i say will matter at some point. You guys just are too lazy to answer because you try to show that you have a "life", that is just stupid. How much do your fingers hurt when you write a sentence??? You are just a worthless, piece of boredom, and i will be always better than you, in some way at least, The End. 

Fortan's Worst Of The Week 6-7

Welp, we promised a hiatus, but we are still here to rant about the five worst things happened on this week in world and the personal Circle!

1. The Opinion Arguement On Craphole!
Surpisingly it's not SilentStranger, it's tgb. He started to argue with everyone from CM Punk's title reign. There are arguements everyday in Craphole, but this one gone straight for 4 PAGES! That is a record, son!
Madness starts here: http://newwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=wwe&action=display&thread=14486&page=5

Pictured: Not the Pope, but close enough.

2. The Pope Resigns
So, the whole catholic world was shattered when pope announced his retirement. Nowadays, Pope means nothing because atheism is taking over the world slowly. But people like AX or silentstranger have started to rant how this generations pope Benedictus sucked, because he allowed rape (HOW SURPISING)
I think the next pope will be George Clooney, oh come on! He even has white hair!

3. Avery is still a hater, What a suprise!
I don't like Dave and Armando (As you can see), and i told it to Avery. Suddenly Avery thought i was still hating on him! I thought he thought i thought i had apologized! I don't even know anymore... although one of the things made me laugh that Dave found it out that "Dave and Armando aren't worth liking" INSULTING. Pfft. People have told me that right in my face IN EVEN WORSE WAY. However if Dave is still aggressive he might get... Lu... i mean forbidden by Avery.
4. More Brony Drama
This week has got a lot of drama... Fighting Is Magic getting cancelled and more Alicorn Twilight, one of the biggest things however, was this:

NOW IN THREE COLORS

Yes, as you can see. THERE IS A MOVIE COMING OF HUMAN MLP GIRLS. No, that may be true. And it caused a huge shit storm that all the bronies were so thin, and wanted to respect equal opportunities, just like Armando.

Seriously, if they all were like NICKY!, that wouldn't be amusing either.
 
5. Fortan Reviews Everything Runs Out of Ideas!
Yes, this blog just doesn't feel so fun anymore (and i can't find bad enough fanfic). So expect hiatus, thankfully, i had time to make this.

Honourable Mentions:
Anjelo was EpicTroll all the time!
AX's Angered Message out of nowhere
Bruno Sammartino gets inducted into WWE Hall of Fame
Bigger-than-big is gone too.
FANDOMSTUCK

This Blog Will Go For A Short Hiatus

I've got a lots of projects under my hands so don't expect stuff for a while.

Fortan Reviews Everything's Worst Of The Week! 5-6

1. Giga-Sakura Says Goodbye!


We knew it would happen... sexyasiangirl left collaging... i left collaging... and Giga-Sakura is leaving the whole community of GTS.




She was a nice person, and she will definetly be missed. I guess AX is behind it somehow...

2. Alicorn Twilight!

I am not a brony, but hell, soon there aren't any bronies because "HAZNOBRO" breaks them up. You see, Twilight Sparkle has turned into a winged thing. And bronies don't like it because it makes her Mary Sue. And series will jump the shark and molest it and then burn it.
The whole hate towards Alicorn-ified Twilight Sparkle is incredibly silly. And i know i should shut up about ponies, but if MLP:FiM-fad "dies" it definetly makes the list.

But otherwise those crapsacks stay away from my trashcan.


3. GigaSurfer Blogpost causes one hell of a mess.
Fortan Reviews Everything losed it's reputation after making a blogpost about Rantists, that featured the-word-that-i-dont-mention. Some stranger even made a comment on it, one of the very rare things you can find from this blog. I hope this doesn't repeat.

4. Super Bowl Black-Out

All the fat americans lo... i mean, ALL THE NON-ARIZONAN Americans love Super Bowl! Sadly something happened and electricity was taken off for half an hour and many fathers took a divorce.

But no worries! OREO cookies saved the day with epic advertisement! (The ad will be reused when Solar Storms shut down the most of Earth's electricity)

5. Tumblr Day Leaked!
I don't see why people hate fads when Forced fads are much worse. I am afraid of April's 1st but now i also have to be afraid of March 3rd. The day when all the crazy little tumblr people show how Transvestite they are. Ugh, i'd rather celebrate World Math Day than that.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Fortan's horrible school season!
5thHorseman it's nuts and Mental Pills still don't work!
Comment on Tachin's video causes one hell of a mess!

See you next Tuesday!

Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner: Crash and friends in diapers!

Oh yeah, i actually found something. And i would like to thank MagicalBiscuits for finding this, or actually i found it myself because this guy hates me!

Well, before we review this, let's do recap how many fanfics i've reviewed...
Crossovers count, but not two-part series like My Immortal.

1 Sonic Fanfic
2 Homestuck fanfics
3 MLP Fanfics
1 Vocaloid fanfic
3 Evangelion Fanfics
1 Digimon fanfic
1 Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic
1 Lucky Star fanfic
1 Spongebob fanfic
1 Penguins of Madagascar fanfic
1 Harry Potter fanfic
1 Pokemon Fanfic
1 Simpsons fanfic
and soon 2 Crash Bandicoot fanfics

Well, MLP and Evangelion have been my favourite subjects, but Neon Genesis Equestria and End Of Boredom are crossovers.

I am not sure when i reach 50 Fanfics, but i promise i will review something big for that day.

But, let's move on to this fanfic, the writer of this has diaper fetish, and everyone who have fetishes are told to be mad men.

I do have macrophilia, expansion fetish and crowd fetish, but no inflation or fat fetish because they're disgusting.

Diaper fetish is also disgusting, so let's see how this fucks up.

Ok I'm not good with stories but I'm gonna try for all you guys.

Do it properly or don't do it all! That's why i never post my drawings to internet anymore.

One day Crash was walking along with Coco and Crunch since they were really the only familey he had

Aku Aku is also part of his family, but how do you put a diaper on floating mask with no feet?

Just then all 3 of them saw cortex And knew something was up and ran up to him.

Of course Cortex is so evil he shows up on Bandicoots as himself and totally doesn't appear with airship or holo-project image or Coco Bandicoot costume.

"Stop right there bandicoots." Said Cortex
"Excuse me why have you instucted us to stop." Asked Crash.

You know the fanfic sucks when Crash knows how to speak.

"For this. now!" orded Cortex.
Cortex grabbed Crash.

Not another rape story...

Tiny grabbed Coco.
Dingodile grabbed Crunch.

So they just grab people? What a waste of time...

Polar and Pura Came and saw this and was about to attack but Pasdena and Nina grabbed them.

Pasadena isn't a villain! I know nobody likes her, but that doesn't mean she's villain.

"What is the meaning of this?"Asked Coco.
"To put you in diapers." Laughed Cortex.

Welcome to the world of Cortex's crazy fetishes. To the chapter 2.

Notes:Why Ripper roo and Coco are a couple I think it's cute

They don't fit to be a couple.

and I know crunch doesn't have a gf so I made one for him

Bandicoot Fanfiction Law 2: Don't do any hero OC's. (NPC's are allowed though) 

same with Polar and Pura. another side note is Ripper roo is able speak english like he was supposed in ctr but didn't.

Ripper Roo speaking in CTR was cancelled, so that doesn't count as canon. I don't want to see how this turns out.

"You know Crash baby I think you would look really cute in a diaper."
Said Pasadena.

Didn't you die at the end of CTTR?

Crash looked over at Pasadena and blushed.
"well since you say so let's get it happening."Said Crash

Crash now wants to wear diaper??? And Pasadena-X-Crash? I'd rather have Crash-x-Coco, yeah i know that's incest but it only works on some cases!

Cortex put the diaper on Crash.
"Yep so darn right cute." Said Pasadena.
Crash blused again.

You know something is wrong when Crash blushes.

Coco had the feeling something was wrong with what just happend then it dawned on her they wanted to get crash first that way they could get everyone else while Coco was distracted with that Tiny put a diaper on her and then let her go.

At least they don't rape you this time...

Coco started to cry.
Crash walked over to her.
"Hey sis what's wrong?" Asked Crash.
"This is the most terrible thing that has ever happend." Cried Coco.

Oh Yeah???

Crash put his arm around her.
"Don't worry sis we will get through this." Said Crash.
"But how?" Asked Coco.

"LET'S POSE!"

"We always find a way out of problems." Said Crash.
"At that moment dingodile got a diaper on Crunch.
"Ok now you made The Crunch mad.

 God! Crunch is now Dwayne Johnson!

Pasadena put a diaper on Polar an Nina put one on Pura.
"So exactly what is the point of this?" asked Crash.
"I'll tell you right now you have 3 choices you can walk around town like that let me turn you into bies

Bies? So Crash could ship himself with Cortex?

Everybody knows Crash is pimping with robots.

or let me kill you." Said Cortex.

Well, that makes most sense.

"We will walk around town."Said crash and they leave.

THE END

"Crash I think you made a bad choice." Said Coco.
"What makes you say that?" Asked Crash.
"Well think about it We are in dipers walking around town Tawana might see you and Ripper roo might see Coco and I'm afraid Katrina will see me." Said Crunch.

Common OC Law 203: Never name your character Katrina, because 90% of Katrina's suck.

"Just like Pasadena I'm sure Twana will think I look cute same with Ripper roo and Katrina."Said Crash.

I like how this guy never spells Tawna right...

"Crash I don't think Pasadena actully likes you I think that was a trick so they could diaper us So Twana might think something is wrong with you although Ripper roo being the insane person he is might think I look cute but Katrina would not find this cute and probaly laugh her head off." Said Coco.

So Katrina is from CBR?

Polar and pura were thinking the same thing about princess ice and taisha.

Princess Ice from Adventure Time? And Pura would fit more with Yaya Panda, because you know, she is, KIND-OF-CANON.

Just then Crash saw Tawna coming.
"Well get prepared Crash." Said Coco.

Why can't they just take their diapers off?

"Don't worry sis I got this." said Crash.
Tawna sees Crash and runs up to him then starts to check him out and giggles a little.

Didn't Tawna date Pinstripe?

"Now Tawna I look ridiclous but um." Said Crash.
"Ridiclous I think you look rather cute like that." Said Tawna.

I like how Tawna and Crash both misspell Ridicilous in a SAME WAY.

"See sis I told ya." Said Crash.
"Oh no here comes ripper roo."Said Coco.

DESTROY HIM!

Ripper roo hops up to Coco and kisses her.

And then throwed a TNT on her...

"So Ripper roo do you think I look cute in a diaper?" asked Coco.
Ripper roo nods.

No wonder this guy is crazy!

Crunch saw Katrina coming.
"Well we all had good luck so far let's hope the Crunch don't have a problem." Said Crunch.

Katrina didn't exist because HE WAS ONLY A FAN CHARACTER!

Katrina skips up to Crunch.
Crunch can't speak.

He ran out of Mr. T-jokes.

"You know what that diaper just makes my Crunch look more hansome." Said Katrina.
Princess ice and Taisha glomped Polar and Pura.

I knew she was a CBR-character expy!

"so I'm gonna guess Cortex planned this." Said Tawna.
"Yes he did." Said Crash.

waligie: damn straight

"Butt i'm suree hee didn'tt sayy youu couldn'tt wearr pantss." said Ripper roo.

He said "butt!" UHEHAHUHEHAHUHEHAHUHEHAH!

"That's right thanks for reminding me they can't do that" Said Cortex from behind.
"Why do you have to be so rotten to us?" Asked Coco.
"Because I simply hate you." Said Cortex.
"That makes sensce." Said Crunch.

It doesn't make sense, it makes SENSCE!

"Hey Cortex you got anymore diapers?" Asked Katrina.
"Yes I do why?" Asked Cortex.
"Why do ya think?" Asked princess ice.
"Yeah there's only one reason." Said Taisha.
Cortex hands them diapers and they put them on.

In a world where everyone have a diaper fetish...

"What are you thinking?" Asked Crash.

This story is utterly ridiculous with stupid misspells, false abilities, stupid fetishes and annoying fan characters.

"We aren't gonna let you go throught this alone." Said Tawna.
"Really you don't have to do this." Said Coco.
"Yess wee doo." Said Ripper roo.

Stop.

"But why?" Asked Crunch.
"It feels like destiny" Said Katina.

DON'T YOU SEE IT? DESTINY!

"I stiil think you guys shouldn't have to go through this as well said Polar.
"Well we are going too" Said princess ice.
"But it's not right." Said Pura.
"Well we only care about you guys." said taisha.
"So I guess in other words get over it?" Asked Crash.

THE END

Oh god, that was really lame! Still better than Crash Bandicoot Retold though...

That has now raped almost every series ever imagined...

Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner: My Pokephilia Orgy

Before we make fun of this fanfic, i've got something to say.

I've ran out of ideas for fanfics to review,so i need your suggestions to get more..
But, this is our next fanfic i've officially decided to review... POKEPHILIA ORGY!

Yes, i haven't reviewed any Pokemon fanfics, and those are one of the worst after MLP, HomeStuck and Naruto.

Let's see how this mess begins...

Meet Shaun. He is a pokémon trainer who's lost in the woods (which he was expecting as he almost always gets lost), but he's about to have something unexpected happen to him.

One day he fell into a hole after chasing a funny rabbit with a clock.

I had just got done swimming in a lake deep in the woods (truth be told I had gotten lost and just ended up finding a lake so I decided to take a break from being lost).

So this is an author avatar? Oh geeze.

I was watching my meganium, persian, pikachu, rapidash, houndoom, and typhlosion playing on the shore

All Furry Icons? Check, expect Meganium
All Probably Female? Check
All "hot"? Check
All pre-3rd generation? Check

Man, that team sucks, where are Ninetales, Gardevoir, Milotic, Lapras and Wait, am i telling this guy what Pokemen he would use in his orgy? Fuck my life.

while I got out dripping wet and naked (yes I was skinny dipping)

WE DON'T CARE!

when typhlosion came over to me and started licking my member (which in turn made me hard).

STOP IT YOU, YOU ARE NOT A DOG!

–whoa typhlosion what are you doing-

Nobody told me Tommy Wiseau is going to play Shaun!

I ask trying to push him away

YOU... LITTLE TURD!

but, he just continues and it just starts to fell so good so I just let him keep going and then I got an idea. –everyone come here I want us to have some fun together-

Like they totally understand him...

-What do you want- meganium asked

-Yeah we were already having fun- said Persian

 SHUT UP I'M ALREADY DEAD

-Yeah- said pikachu
-Well since we were already having fun maybe he has something else planed- said houndoom

Never Forget The Fact That Americans Are Dildos, when They Blame Muslims From Everything And Write Horrible Fanfics. I rest my case.

-Ok what did you have in mind Shaun- asked rapidash
Well I was thinking of having us a little orgy so how about it
That sounds awesome everyone replied

Then Shaun woke up from his pile of unpayed taxes with his student roommates.

Ok so then let's get started ok now let's see typhlosion you get over here and ill anal you, now pikachu you can get on typhlosion and ill suck your dick, houndoom you fuck me in the ass, rapidash you and persian can 69 and meganium you can do whatever you want ok go and on go everyone got where they were supposed to be.

"What about the condoms? Did you remember the condoms? I don't want to give you Poke-Human abominations again!"

I started with typhlosion by slipping my dick slowly into his hot pleasureful ass getting a moan or two from him, next was pikachu who put his dick in my mouth right before getting poked by typhlosion

Actually, those Pokemen were actually his gay friends dressed up as Pokemen.

and letting a squeak out as his ass was being penetrated, then houndoom came over and got into position and slowly started to insert his dick into my vacant hole which made me give a muffled moan into pikachu's crotch getting a moan from him in the process

These guys moan more than that old man in Creepy Castle Catacombs.

now it was rapidash and persion's turn as they got down and started licking each other's dripping wet pussy's both becoming a moaning wreck and as they were doing this meganium came over and started to anal rapidash only causing her more pleasure.

Wait! There is one thing wrong! You forgot to give pleasure to Shaun!

Pikachu was the first to go as I got my mouth filled with cum and started pumping typhlosion harder as I was getting close, typhlosion was getting close to as he started to fuck pikachu harder as pikachu all of a sudden came down and collided his tong with mine and we each started to make out with spit and cum (from my mouth) dripping down are cheeks and with that typhlosion came squirting cum all over pikachu's ass and my stomach and right after that houndoom finished filling my insides with cum and squirting some out that had escaped my ass, with all this I was on the verge my hips turning to a blur and I went as deep as I could into typhlosion squirting every last bit of cum I could into his ass and getting a long and powerful moan from typhlosion.

TL;DR: Cum harder pump spit harder down down squirting cum cum filling cum cum ass squirting cum spit.

Persian was almost ready to cum, her and rapidash as they buried there tongs as far as they would go into their sexes and all at once they squirted all over each other's faces and mouths taking the time to clean as much of the juices as they could as meganium was pumping faster and faster until he let out a big moan along with rapidash as he shot his seed deep into her ass.

The Next day, Proferssor Oak was terrifyed.

-well did all of you find that fun- I asked
-oh yes- everyone answered
-ok then who's ready for round two-

NOT ME

Everyone just smiled and waited for their directions.
Ok let's see um pikachu I want a go at you, houndoom you can stand on top of me and ill suck your dick, typhlosion you can fuck Persian anyway you want, meganium you and rapidash can lick at my dick while I'm going at pikachu ok let's get started then.

Why can't they go like "What did you say?"

Pikachu came over and got in position and I pushed him down on my long dick and he let out a moan then houndoom came over and got in positions as I put his dick in my mouth and he went for pikachu's, typhlosion didn't spare any time to go at Persian going from her ass to her pussy taking double shots, meganium came over and started licking the anal juices coming from pikachu and rapidash did the same as I started moving pikachu who was in awe at how good he felt at the moment. I was getting close and so was houndoom as he launched his seed into my mouth and down my throat and I started to move pikachu faster which only made him feel that much better and then I came in him as he let out a moan and I lifted him off me as he gave houndoom his surprise right into his mouth, typhlosion had gone to just fucking Persians pussy and she has already cummed once and was on the verge as was typhlosion and when persian did her juices squirting everywhere and her pussy convulsing around typhlosion's dick made him soot his seed into her and fill her right up.

TL;DR: I don't know either what's happening, dude.

Ok know let's try something different

"Ok i go to jail while all of you are sterilized sent to free nature where no human will ever catch you again"

-Time for round three-
Persian get on my cock and rapidash come here my tong has a little present for you, typhlosion, meganium, pikachu, and houndoom you have an orgy amongst your selves with the one on the bottom analing me ok lets go.

That was just a bunch of sex related words spammed together.

Persian got right down on me and rapidash positioned herself facing persian and they started to make out, pikachu got on meganium, meganium mounted houndoom who mounted typhlosion

who mounted Pikachu who mounted Typholison who mounted Rapidash who mounted Persian who mounted the cop near-by and nobody mounted on anyone ever.

and typhlosion stuck his huge dick into my ass hurting me a little, then we started to move and I was in awe at how Persians pussy felt to my dick as I was eating rapidash 

Pokephilia meets Pokevore!

and all the males where grunting as they enjoyed there fun. Rapidash was on the verge and was trying to hold it in but failed and exploded all over me but I didn't care I just cleaned it up and went back to eating her out, Persian was getting there to and erupted her sex juices all over hers and my crotch which got me close to cuming and made me pump faster until I went as far as I could and exploded my seed inside her and it was so much that it started dripping out, her and rapidash got up and went over to my ass to lick at it while typhlosion was going at me harder and harder obviously ready to finish when all at once I could feel his hot cum filling my ass up and squirting out all over his crotch, right after that pikachu finished getting a satisfying moan out of meganium who was getting ready obviously because he was going harder and harder into houndoom when he blew his load and filled houndoom up and after that houndoom launched his seed into typhlosion.

TL;DR: Fuck it.

After we were done and I had gotten dressed I saw Sam a trainer I know and a friend of mine who had a pokénav (lucky for me) and he helped me out of there not having any idea what took place earlier that day even though I will never forget it because it was the first time me and my pokémon had an all out orgy.

Next day Shaun was arrested for Zoophilia and homosexuality and making interspecies pregnant.

All the Pokemen he raped died a horrible death on Viridian City's PokeCenter. And we will never see Shaun ever again.

That was gross, but thank you for reading and remember to vote and suggest!