Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner: First Taste of Love

Ahhhh, love. No matter do you love real people or fictional characters, you're still in love.

Don't get me wrong! I am a good lover, if i would have a chance! It's just that "marrying" and "mother-in-law" parts that make me avoid big love...

Also these "lemonfics" make me avoid love because these guys don't know what sex really is! Well i don't know either, but according to our school books it doesn't have pleasure screams and other shit you see in porn.

I'm sorry, i promised you i wouldn't review a lemon fanfic, but i didn't found any ridiculous crossovers or stupid story arcs that i could review.

This story tells us about the "First Taste of Love", also known as sex. Oh? Did i mention what fanfic this exactly is?

It's Lucky Star Fanfic.

Yeah, dude! So we have two little girl's suck each other vaginas! And maybe there will be some vibrators too!
Well, it's still better than two male antromorphic animals having sex, and that was the first fanfic i reviewed!

Let's start reading this fanfic, which has been written by... B25Mitch??? Why all these guys need to have a "bitch" in their username? It makes them look pimpy dudes with hat and co...no i'm not putting this again.

Anyways, enjoy! I mean, Do not enjoy! Even if you liked this show! DO NOT ENJOY ABOUT THE FANFIC!

Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki were sitting around a table at lunch talking about various things when Konata interrupted, "We need to have a sleepover."

"Shut up, Kid!" Miyuki told. "That's girls stuff!"

"Where did that come from all of a sudden?" Kagami asked.

"Well, there's a long weekend coming up, so I just thought…" Konata's voice trailed off. She took a bite of her lunch to occupy her mouth.

"We could have sex!"

"I think a sleepover would be a good bad idea," said Miyuki.

Konata started to say something, but Tsukasa interrupted with, "Are you offering your house, Miyuki?"

Miyuki replied with, "Actually, my mom is a little sick right now."

"She keeps screaming my fathers name and breaks things up with an axe."

"My house is," Konata tried to say.

"Well our parents are going out of town, so that's out," said Kagami.

Why can't you go there? For a secret meeting! It's a bunch of lesbian little girls after all...

"But I…" Konata tried again.

Tsukasa said, "I guess we can't have a sleepover then."

Nobody cares about Konata because she's a vanilla midget.

"PLEASE EVERYBODY COME TO MY HOUSE!!!!" Konata screamed, which caused everyone in the classroom to turn and look.

Making herself look like an attention whore... GOOD JOB!

Kagami replied sheepishly, "If it's ok…"

"Of course it is. I'll just have to tell my dad not to do anything weird.

???

Plus, Yui has the weekend off, so she'll be there."

Yui is dead! Oh wait, wrong show.

That Friday, the four girls arrived at Konata's house after school. A creepy looking unshaven man with scruffy blue hair, wearing robes and a dust mask, greeted them at the door. 

Drunk Ric Flair! 

Despite his harried appearance, the girls were unfazed. Konata said, "Hey dad. The girls are sleeping over remember? Get some clothes on." A single tear ran down Soujirou's cheek.

Why did crazy pedophile wanted children? Konata's life must suck ass...

As the girls entered Yui poked her head out of the kitchen. "Hey girls. I'm making a hot pot for dinner."

Oh god, stop stereotyping! Just because i live in Finland, it doesn't mean i always eat salmon!

The smoke detector went off. "Oh god! It's boiling over!" After several minutes of banging and cursing, Yui poked her head out again. "How does instant curry over rice sound?"

I forgot they lived in China! Where are the censoring politicians and slaves on stone mines?

While the girls were setting up the Wii

Playstation is better! At least the original one! And SNES is better than Wii too, but only because of DKC! I have SNES!

for the night's games, Konata called out to Yui, "Can you make mine over a Cup Noodle?"

"Ew. Curry over shrimp ramen?" Kagami asked.

"I am going to have sex tonight, i need weird food" Konata said.

"Absolutely," Konata said, "I saw someone do it in a show, so I tried it and I liked it."

"I think I'll stick with rice."

Yui brought the dinner out from the kitchen and placed it on the table. Five bowls of curry over rice and one of curry over ramen. 

"I'm a problem child!" Ralph Wiggum Konata Izumi said.

Once Yui had sat down, they all began eating.

Time to set the bait. Konata thought, and said, "Hey dad, did the new Robot Wars game we ordered come in yet?"

Those Girls are pretty badass... no pun intended.

"Yes," her father said, "I put it on you desk." This piqued Kagami's interest, but she held it in. I'll have to check that out later, she thought.

"Hey Konata, can I try out that new game later?" Kagami asked.

D'Aaawww, she's just like me when i was a little boy. And she's a girl

"Sure," Konata said, "How about right after dinner, let the others play Wii first."

What if that game was for Wii?? You know, Wii is a Japanese "game".

Kagami agreed and the rest of dinner went uneventfully.
After dinner, Konata grinned wildly as Kagami practically dragged Konata to her room. "All is going perfectly to plan."

"I am going to kill Kagami and take his panties..."

"Hey Kagamin, I have to go to the bathroom. My dad said the game was on my desk, so can you start getting it installed?" Konata asked.

Konata peeked through the cracked open bathroom door as Kagami opened the box. She pulled out the game and underneath it was an object in a clear plastic clamshell package. Kagami picked it up. It was two pink devices connected by a length of cord. One was egg shaped, about an inch across, the other was rectangular, and was sized to nicely fit in the palm of the hand. The label read, "Bullet Style Corded Personal Massager with Bonus Trial of Happy Rabbit Lubricating Oil."

Oh no! It's an Easter Ornament from Middle-East! Somebody call CIA!

Kagami read the label and started to think, why would it come with lubri-, when the truth dawned on her. She dropped the box in shock and tentatively called out, "Konata, I think your box got mixed up with someone else's."

Konata came out of the bathroom, playing ignorant. "What was that?" She looked down at the box on the floor. "Oh good, my vibe came."

WHAT??!!! You're about 5 years old! You aren't supposed to masturbate until you're 14!

Kagami was shocked. "You bought one of those? You ma- m-"

MA'AM!

"Masturbate?" Konata offered.
"Don't say it out loud!"

You can masturbate without vibrator you know, just ask me! Or Shinji Ikari...

"Oh Kagamin," Konata said smoothly, sliding up close behind her. She whispered in her ear, "You can't tell me you've never done it. You're all alone, you feel a yearning in your loins…" Konata slid her hand up the front of Kagami's thigh.

Konata is disgusting...

Kagami, surprised, pushed Konata away. "Y- you're disgusting."

WHAT DID I SAY??

"Come on Kagami. We're all friends here," Konata said, then added sweetly, "I really like you, Kagamin."

Not again...

Kagami backed away and said, "This joke has gone far enough!"
"Right. Joke," Kagami said dejectedly. She took a deep breath, looked at the floor, and struggled not to cry.

Kagami, seriously, you're being harassed by 5-year old, just run away or call the cops!

"Y- you're really serious, aren't you?"

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF ARE YOU SERIOUS! I'M DEE-OH-DOUBLE-GEE AND BY MY SIDE AS ALWAYS, JOSH "BOILING HOT POT" MATTHEWS

Konata said sobbingly, "Kagami, you," before bursting into a huge smile. "This is just too much. You're so cute."

Say that to boys, you fucking lesbian!

"You're terrible. I felt really bad. It was all a lie?"

THE END

"Well, not all of it," Konata said, taking Kagami's hand. "I really do like you."
"Don't try to trick me again."
"I'm not." Konata pressed Kagami's hand against her chest. "Feel how hard my heart is beating?"
"Konata…"
"Can I… Can I kiss you?"

I lost it... What they were talking about again...?

Standing in the center of the room, they embraced and kissed deeply. Their clumsy tongues explored new mouths for the first time.

Why EVERY SINGLE lemonfic i read has to have that tongue-exploring thing? Come up with something original already!


When their lips parted, Konata said, "That was better that I ever imagined."
 So you actually imagined???!!! Go to therapist, problem child!

Konata began unbuttoning Kagami's shirt while nibbling on her neck.
"We can't do this," Kagami said.
"Why not?"

"We're too young."
"We're both 18."

WHAT?? So this takes its place into far future?

"We're both girls."

No shit.

"That doesn't bother me," Konata said as she slipped Kagami's shirt off her shoulders. Kagami moaned softly as Konata kissed her stomach. "Will you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?"

Nope, i offer cheeseburgers, with YELLOW Fries! And also add those Coca-Cola rip-offs as a drink too!

Kagami sighed heavily and stroked her friend's hair. "OK, Konata. Make me feel good."

Just plug in SNES.

They moved to sit side by side on the bed, half turned toward the other. With quick nervous breaths they undressed each other. "Just relax," Konata said.

Konata made Kagami lay down on the bed, and crawled up next to her. She kissed Kagami gently on the chest around her small, soft breasts. Konata's mouth found Kagami's right nipple and her hand found the other. The stimulation made Kagami's breath to go erratic. Konata planted kisses up Kagami's neck to her lips. They kissed furiously as Konata's hand slid snake-like down Kagami's torso to reach a small tuft of purple hair.
Kagami was surprised at how comfortable she felt being touched by her friend. She let herself melt into the pleasure. BLAH BLAH BLAH
Konata hovered over her friend. They rubbed their small, sensitive breasts against each other's, teasing their nipples.

Suddenly NIBBLA! *CHOMP*

Konata slid down and licked her friend's pussy, pausing at the clitoris, her tongue dancing in circles around the tiny pink protrusion. Kagami got up on her elbows, head back, eyes closed, breathing heavily. Her breaths turned to shaky gasps as Konata wrapped her lips around the clitoris and sucked on it. When Konata gently squeezed the clit with her teeth, Kagami lost control of her arms. She fell onto her back. Her eyes were tearing and she was moaning uncontrollably.

Okay enough of this facking bullshit!


Konata stopped sucking and licked her lips. "I'm going to put my finger inside you, ok?"
Kagami managed to eke out an 'ok'. Konata went back to sucking Kagami's clit. Her left hand went up to Kagami's breast, playing with the nipple. Her right hand toyed with her friend's hole. She put her finger in to the first knuckle. Kagami gasped. Konata's left hand left the breast and went down to her own pussy. She desperately wanted Kagami to touch her, but she affirmed herself that her friend's pleasure came first.
Konata slipped her entire index finger into Kagami's pussy. Kagami bucked her hips. She dug her fingernails into her palms, gripping the sheets. Moans erupted from Kagami's throat as Konata rubbed the tip of her finger against the inside of her friend's hole.
Kagami tries to speak, "Ko- Konata, there's a- a tightness. AH! In my a- abdomen. Hah, hah, oh, right there. My- my body's tensing up!"
Konata takes her finger out and sucks on the hole with her mouth. She slips her tongue in, massaging Kagami's clit with her fingers. With her mouth working the hole, her nose rubs against her clit.
Kagami's body spasmed. "It's too much! I can't take it! I'm going to die! AAAHHH!"
Kagami's body shook as she orgasmed. Her vagina contracted, squirting liquid into Konata's mouth. This flow of cum drove Konata over the edge. She orgasmed immediately after her friend. Both girls lay on the bed panting.
Konata crawled up next to Kagami and they kissed. Kagami said, "I don't know what to say. I love you so much."

And they were both arrested for performing lesbian sex as an underaged.

Okay, this was the same bullshit as always. I promise i'll give you something new next...