- Keep blabbering about shitty politics.
- Take All My Stuff Down
- Make Giga-Sakura or sexyasiangirl cry.
- Crossover something i like with something I HATE
As you can see, this is NGE/Pony crossover, i don't care about shitty ponies anymore, but crossing them with NGE is, just, UNHOLY.
Now, sadly, i've found an MLP - Evangelion crossover, and i guess mentally crazy kids become now cute little ponies who ride in rainbows!
Anyway, let's move to our shitty fanfics written by... Nekotabi.
"What are you doing here?"
Alone, the boy standing in the middle of the road when he heard a
soothing voice whispers in his ear. He turned his head; try to find the
source of the voice. But as he gazed, nothing he but an endless darkness
where light fade away. He hears no sound. Not even the speckled rain
made voices. It was like a scene from a silent movie. Not in monochrome
it is in full color provided by the light from the only source, a street
lamp. He could see the black color of the asphalt and gray color of
rubble, and also the faded paint of broken bicycle that was belong to
him.
Okay, this had a lot of grammar errors, so it's gonna be BAD!
I won't be surprised if "I ALSO SOMETHING IMPORTANT!" makes an appearance in this fic.
The voice, what did it says? It asked him, what he doing here? He doesn't know, more than that, he simply never cares.
"Why are you alone, where is your friends?" the voice heard again, asking silly question..
"Where is your friends?" So this tells about Jamaican Ponies?
Friend!? What a strange word, an alien concept, a mysterious thing. What constitute a friend? The boy find no suggestion, yet his heart drawn painfully to this word. He know some people, their name. Are those people his friend? No, he answers.
This would've been good evangelion imagination, but the jamaican talk ruins it and makes it just laughable.
What a friend? What constitute a friend actually?
...
OH
MY
GOD
SERIOUSLY, NGE IS A SERIOUS STORY OF MANKIND'S FAITH! NOT A KAWAII PONY STORY! GET BACK TO SWEDEN!
The boy answers the question, Shinji. Ikari Shinji.
"Shinji.. Nice to meet you..."
"LET'S HAVE SEX!"
"Train A2 has been left... Tokyo three station."
Darkness fades away into light as Shinji awakened by the voice of the train station announcement. It seems that he daydreaming again, with same dream, each dream more vivid than before. This dream got stronger, especially since he accepted a letter from his father.
Had long since his father contacts him, it's been years. No telephone, no letter, nothing. He did not even come to his birthday, always busy with his works in Tokyo three. The boy has long been considered his father to be dead. His old guy left him to an uncle that never really care and then gone. He think his father share that mutual feeling.
So this is appareantly Neon Genesis Evangelion re-told with Ponies being characters in Shinji's mind And everyone are Jamaican?
FUCK THIS COMPANY!
But dead man can't write a letter. A letter that are marked a big logo of Nerv, organization where his father works, comes to him few days ago. All the writing comes with type, except the signature. Shinji know, that this signature belong to his father. He ever see it once, he never forget.
Never Forget the Montreal Screwjob!
Why is Shinji talking like Hulk anyway?
Even he hates his father so much, he accept this invitation because he would accept any ticket to go away from that empty hole where he lived before. Deep in his heart, he seeks to change. Deep in his heart he find hope for his father, a hope that he had already try to extinguish so hard.
 |
| NOPE. |
What time is it? Shinji looked to a big clock hang in station. It is showed him that he has wait for more than three hour. Hope was slowly lost in his heart. He gets sleepy.
A mirage of a purple little unicorn awakens him. It is only a mere second, and the unicorn gone. Maybe it is only a hallucination provided by hot air of this city. But why the Pony.
Yes, i'm asking the exact same question, Shinji. WHY THE FUCKING PONY?
"Shinji, Ikari Shinji Right?" said a very beautiful woman, "I'm so sorry, we had a little trouble."
A beautiful woman with black purpleish long hair greet him. Shinji and this woman shakes hand, he only see a smile that beauty from magazine. If Shinji doesnt see the Nerv Logo, he must been guess the girl is a model or movie star.
Everyone fucking knows where this is going, this is Neon Genesis Evangelion BUT WITH FUCKING PONIES AND INSTEAD OF JAPAN THEY'RE IN FUCKING JAMAICA! Next we are going to have Robot Donkey Kong or La Parka making an appearance!
Suddenly Shinji acknowledge in the air three helicopter flies with loud noises, the type Shinji only ever see in a movie, heavy armored helicopter. They go full speed to the south, like going to a battlefield.
"Damn JDSF, we too late, hop in the car kid, we need go fast, really fast, by the way my name Misato Katsuragi, nice to meet you," Mitsuko invite shinji to a shake.
Oh god, she name Misatu Katsuragi! She Jamaican. Also suddenly she's called Mitsuko anyway!
FUCK THIS COMPANY (x2)
"Shinji, Ikari Shinji..." said Shinji.
"Prepare Shinji-kun It is going to be one hell of a ride," This lady was not kidding.
It is really one hell of a ride, at least they flip over the car once and almost hit a cat twice. Misato, the lady with a black-purple hair ride along the city street like a drunk nascar racer. Shinji almost can't believe he still alive, in that roller coaster to death. It look like this woman try to defy gravity as they jump and drift along quiet city.
"Aw, Damn! I hope NERv got Insurance Policy on my car," Said Misato "Well, Shinji! Welcome to NERv Tokyo Three Base, Incredible spacious underground base, that makes no sense. Yes, they should pay the worker more."
Shinji gap in amazement as he look from the window to a underground city. Buildings hanging on the ceiling of the sky, and in the ground an mysterious pyramid stand in artificial forest. The scenery is soo beautiful yet so absurd. They now sit in a car, that slowly moved along inside giant escalator. They go deep down to the earth.
"Misato, what is this earthquake?" Said Shinji after he felt small tremor.
Misato answer with a flat voice, "It's kind of... hey how your travel? I heard that your village had nice sake, is it right?"
"I guess"
"If only I got more holiday. By the way do you want to know what we doing here... we defend the earth... do you know the Second Impact.. "
God, am i really wasting my time for this Jamaican NGE with ponies appearing randomly!
Behind the black Glasses his father stare him, Shinji didn't see his father eyes, but yet he can feel that cold icy eyes pierce into him. Shinji clenched his hand. He look up above him. A giant purple devil face look back to him, they called it Evangelion. That is war machine, build to fight the Angel. The monster that rampage everything, and destroy world few years ago by creating second impact.
The people busy looking into the monitor, or passing away with sophisticated equipment. Shinji know, they look at Shinji, try to eavesdrop everything. Want to know who is this new child soldier. In anger, he looks back to Misato. That woman look troubled, even in her strong composure. Misato smiled, a smile of warm vanity.
"I know you afraid, it not that hard, you just need to ride on the Evangelion and you gonna be okay..."
"Don't touch me!" Shinji reject Misato hand that reach for him "I know it is a lie".
"Do you really understand what the stakes here, do you realize what happened if we can't destroy this angel. That could be the end of the world, many people will die!"
"Just find somebody else!" Said Shinji.
Somebody, who's, all black and has you know, green glasses! He Sucks, get him!
The short silent was interrupted by tremor that grow stronger each time. Misato looked like lost word, he only stare Shinji. The boy did not dare to see Misato's face. Misato try to seek help from the boys father, she know that it is a wrong choice. Commander gendou not a people person.
"What a waste of time! The boy useless make he gone, we send first child..." The boy's father turns his back on Shinji while fixing his glasses position.
Misato glare in anger to his commander, then he said with rage "Do you understand the situation commander; Rei is not in the good condition!"
"The boy won't work, send her here."
Misato then glance a Shinji with mixture of hate, sad and desperate. She didn't do anything, only go away from the location after a salute to her commander. In the wind Shinji hear Misato's curse, he don't know it is for his father or for him.
Shinji still there, inside he want to scream, not by fear but by anger. He stares to his father back and yell.
"So you want me to come for this!"
Gendou hold his walk; turn around to Shinji, "What do you expect? Cookies?"
What Did i Expect? Good Grammar? No!
"I... " Shinji doesn't answer, he stare on the ground, girt his teeth.
The backup pilot came, and Shinji shocked. A gurney with a young women lay in it push into near the Evangelion. The beautiful girl was wrapped by bandage, he look like seriously injured. He try to stand, but then fall into floor. He was try to stand but only unsteady hold to the rail, even to breathe already very hard for her. The girl groaned in pain, try to stand up. Even to watch is already very painfull.
"First child reporting to duty... uhuk" She cough blood.
"Rei how your condition?" Said Commander Ikari.
"Yes sir I can do it.. uhuk.. uhuk.."
What happening? His father send a sick girl in a battle. This is madness! Inside, Shinji want to scream but outside he only stare the floor in silence. Clench his fist, he want to hit the air, scream to the sky. He want to explode his anger in center of being. He want to die.
JAMAICAN HULK WANT TO DIE!
"Shinji... Shinji..."
And then suddenly, comes the great shock. A great earthquake shakes the earth as Angel try to dig a hole to base below. Nerv base was build to defend from inhuman attack, but that not enough. Nerv base was shatered piece by piece. Shinji look up, when he found a great debris fall from the Nerv celling. The piece of concrete will flatened him to the ground. He gonna die.
"Shinji.. Shinji.."
With same voice that he heard in the dream, she speak to him. It is inside a dream again, he become a six year old boy again.
"Shinji... This is Twilight, how your doing?"
"Not good, I, I.."
"Afraid?"
"..." Shinji not answer
I've got to seriously tell you, this is the most ridiculous fanfic i've ever read. I've said it already million times!
FUCK THIS COMPANY! (3x)
Twilight smile" Dont worry Shinji. We in this together. Hoof to hoof. Now it is time for you to stand up. You have things to protect... you are not alone..."
Shinji looked up. The hand of Eva protecting him from debris fall. He look at the sick pilot then to his father.
"I will pilot Eva.." The Boy Said.
Okay, i don't even want to know how this continues, read rest of this shitty fanfic here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8124034/2/Neon-Genesis-Equestria
Excuse me, now i must walk to the other room and think why am i still living. AND REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR TCoS AWARDS!
