FortCrap: My Old Xtranormal Videos!

Okay, i'm presenting you another new corner of our blog that you probably never see again because Triple-F of Doom takes all the time and nobody would even care about it anyway.

Anyways, this is FortCrap, where i review all the shit I have done in the past, yeah, my internet life was pretty shitty. And it still kinda is, i haven't tried to learn anything and i keep running a unfunny blog that is only viewed by swedish admin site robots.

But back to the past, i deleted my old deviantart account so i might never see my old stuff ever again, however, i found my old xtranormal account full of Anti-Japan messages, which is kind of ironic because, i'm not a weeaboo, but i seem to like anime stuff a lot. I don't that much care about Japan or roam in Anime sites, but Evangelion is the greatest piece of moving pictures i've ever seen and also hentai fucking rocks. But this was that time, that time i call "Lord Harry", that time when every person who liked Japanese stuff even a small piece was automatically a kawaii-desu weeaboo who had to be executed.

Let's see how it went, with the first video known as

HOW TO PEOPLE BECOME ANTI-WEEABOO

In correct speech: "How people become Anti-Weeaboos" or "How to make himself look like a(n) complete asshat", lets view this shit:

First scene has an unnamed boy with a voice that sounds like... i can't figure out what he sounds like, but that sounds like a british accent. Well, the boy tells he has now a lot of time and...
"Heh who are you???". And out of nowhere comes the "Anti-Weeaboo Spy" , he looks like detective, because according to Valvefags Spies are mask-wearing arrogant suit-dudes who sap people's poor sentries.

Back to the video, boy is interested what exactly is Anti-Weeaboo, and doesn't give a shit that he is seeing an actual SPY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET. Seriously, aren't spies supposed to be top secret men? No wonder Not-Sonich Kuchedoff declared this to be fail.

Well, Spy tells Anti-Weeaboos are a force that want to stop weeaboos. (no shit???) Weeaboos are people who like or love Japan, (There isn't real difference there??) and, Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan, and then Spy-Detective-Person makes a patriotic pose.

Why Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan anyway? Are they actually a bunch of dudes whose grandparents death in Pearl Harbour shocked them, or did they only watched that Michael Bay movie? Or are they butthurt 4channers who want Anime Boards off the site? I just hated it for no reason, i can't really figure it out myself either, probably it was just the lack of Evangelion.

But back to the video, how does the boy react to the dude's "speech"???

"Wow."

GO TO YOUR ROOM, STUPID KID!

And then Spy-Dude is like "Yes, you know what?? Join Us!"

Really? Just because he said "Wow" he's apparently interested in hating Japan??? Go figure, dude! That kid must be some bum from street who never talked with anyone or never had an internet. Strange enough, Spy didn't mention Anime, so i don't really remember did i hated Japan that much.... KYM will prove it eventually.

Then Spy says that joining Anti-Weeaboos is easy and Falkyjar (Translation: Pinfeather) would take boys like him AKA Street bums. And the boy just nods. And then Spy says "Perfect, let's GHOAEUAOH!" No, He really did, just watch it! It was just plenty times fasturd.

That was silly, and now into a complete change... in style. Now people are replaced with robots from DreamWorks movie!

THE ROBOT WANT TO BE AN ANTI-WEEABOO

In Correct Speech: The Robot who wants to be an Anti-Weeaboo, or "The Robot who didn't got into Super Robot Wars game and got very angry about it".

"Jade, I'm bored to this stuff" A Television Android built from Coca-Cola cans blurted in a space bar where no man has gone before.
"What now, Dr. Weez?" A Stupid rubbish pin made out of Kitchen machines asked.
"I'm working to a man called MatrixMarioX Eustace Pietime" Weez responded. "He always wants me to fix his PeeCee."
"Now i'm bored." Living Junkyard declared. "I want some more stuff (to do) than him fixing dead PC's all the time."
"And what should i be?" Lady in Brown asked as she scratched her head.
"A Man.", Weez cursed "Something more than Weeaboo stuff... I want anti-stuff!"
"You mean..." Jade started. "Antiweabos?" she muttered quickly.
"Oh, hell sure yes i mean!" Coca-Cola thing said. "Whatevah..."

Dr. Weez was shortly killed after his journey through dataspace, nobody knows what killed him but it looked like... onions.
Not many people cried.

ON THE HIGH CONVERSATION'S ROOM

In Correct Speech: At The Room Of The Highest Authority, also known as "Cunning Plans"

Now, the video starts with the guy with Spy's voice (They must be same person!) telling that he has bad news for the President of Anti-Weeaboos. While not being visible, he asks "Mr. Hurry", what is it. And appareantly, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY!!! *gasp*
Some People! Who knows how MUCH is that??? The Highest Authority states that this has happened previously too, but it's still bad, because SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY GUYS!!! THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM, I DON'T EVEN MENTION THEIR NAMES!!!
Those people have apparently "thinked" that Japanese people have a lot of awesome stuff.

Like this.

Falkyjar can't do anything about this! Of course he can't because he knows that people have opinions! Goddamn it!
So, the Highest Authority states that they might start a war against Anti-Weeaboos! And it means the end of Anti-Weeaboos!
Wait? They can't fight back? So they're actually a group of weak men who waste all their money on spies who force street bums into their army?? I get it! Anti-Weeaboos are the CHINAMEN.
Then he tells Mr. Hurry to "get the grenades." More like...
"GET THE GRANADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS PUTA!"
Highest Authority tells Mr. Hurry has he ever heard of suicidebomber Konata... Azumi. Mr. Hurry wonders why should they throw suicidebomber with grenades, he even tells that it sounds stupid, but then decides to accept.
Have you realized, Mr. Hurry, that WHOLE ANTI-WEEABOO SHIT SOUNDS AND IS STUPID IN GENERAL???
Then we see finally Highest Authority's face, and it turns out he's John McCain and even does a nazi pose.
WHAT?

This is... very... confusing....

message to all

In Correct Speech: ... Message to Everyone Also Known As What Is This?
I don't know either, dude.

"Hello, here is OriginalFalkyjar, I know you're calling me mad and faggot, because i hate Japan."

Ironically, nowadays they would call me mad and faggot if i would say i love Japan, just saying.

"But i say you one thing, you people are faggots and idiots because of my calling. After this, i'm going to hate Japan more than ever before. Thanks to you, idiots, HAWEHAWHEEYAH!"

That ending wasn't really necessary.

That was childish and silly, and doesn't fit my personality, well, it does fit FORTAN's personality but not mine. Me and "Fortan" you know are different people.
Besides, this "style" gives me creeps. I don't find it pretty enjoyable to stare at that Black and White Man's soulless stare.

GOOD NIGHT OKLAHOMA

Uhhh... next video please.

Weeaboo Robot Francis

In Correct Speech: Japan-Crazy Robot Called Francis, and it wasn't Francis from L4D, valvefags.

"Oh my god." Jade started. "What now, Francis?" She asked and crossed her arms.
"Oh, What a night!" An Ancient Camera-Radar thing moaned. "Jade, They clicked me about million times... That was fun!"
"Okay." Jade replied and sighed.
"The Weeaboo Party was fun." Francis reiterated. "All this gayness there and..."
"Yes," Coffee Machine Lady interrupted. "I know you're gay, like all weeaboos."
Camera-Computer dude turned on Jade and blurted: "Oh man, don't start it... Jade, this is hybrid you know."
"You are!" Jade shouted. "What??" Gay Version of Lost In Space Robot asked.
"Gay." Jade said and stared.

Then Francis killed Jade by knocking her head down and burning the bar down. Francis got 5 years in Inter-galactic prison.

Neeeeext...

On The Spy's Room:

In Correct Speech: Highest Authority visits room of the Anti-Weeaboo detective.

We see Anti-Weeaboo Spy sitting on his chair and telling how this work as Spy is taking him off.
Suddenly we hear Highest Authority who came out of nowhere and also said Spy's real name, and it turns out he's just a guy named Hudson.

Hey everyone! We've got Hudson here!

So, Highest Authority wants to talk with Mr. Hudson. Well, Spy Hudson thinks it's neeze to see Mr. President again. What Wiktionary states to me, i'm sure everytime Spy sees Mr. President he starts to sneeze, so no wonder that guy is forced to collect bums from a street!
Well, Hudson also recommends President to call him just Spy because "Weeaboos are On The Door" Hmm, that would make a good songname. Note to Self!

So, The Highest Authority has to talk about "The Weeaboo Lovers." Spy goes sad and wonders why those people want to make theirselves look stupid. Because of this President changes quickly the topic and wants Spy to help him to attack the Weeaboo Base. President has also heard that "Dutchman Joe" lives in there.

Dutchman Joe? Who is he? Long lost son of The Dutchman? We'll see.

Anti-Weeaboo Spy accepts, suddenly we hear, or they hear, something and Spy's mouth turns into black goo. Highest Authority tells him it's the Suicidebomber, and he needs to "Get On." And by that we mean, GET ON! GET ON BABY! GET ON! If you don't know the reference, Finnish teens from 70's will beat the shit out of you.

Anyways, the next video, where we finally see stuff from Weeaboo's point of view.

Jweck 9son In Joe Humbles' Midnight Radio(tm)

There is no name for that so i made something up.

So, Joe starts by telling that they have a special guest tonight, who is Jweck 9son.
Hm, Joe doesn't even tell who he is. Is this a sign that Weeaboos are actually overlords in this universe? That explains robots and big heads...
Joe asks Mr. 9son how does it feel to be the boss of every weeaboo on the ear...wait.

So you're telling me that that nigga is the leader of the Japanfags? I expected someone cool, and evil, but nope.
If i remember right, Jack was supposed to be white, but xtranormal had very limited amount of characters. So i chosed the one with black hat.

Well, Jweck tells that leading every weeaboo on earth is "not bad" and "it's just fun." Now i know how Kim-Jong Un feels!
Well, Jweck tells that he has ability to mind-control people, but really can't. Jweck tells that it's really his scientist, Dr. Archy, who is the only person who has a surname that doesn't sound stupid.
Then Joe asks why did he...i mean Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata... Azumi, who is a famous tv star.
Well, Jweck says that this world needs suicidebombers, how ironic, so Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata A. and thus made... him(?) insane.
Joe is being ignorant once again and asks Jweck just one question, Does he love anyone.
And Jweck tells he's a pervert.
Hmmm, i don't really love anyone in Anime Universe, because i'm a pervert for every single anime girl, so i guess i somehow predicted future.
Well, Joe thanks Jweck and then tells that Giant Bus is driving in Orguila. Whatever is that, and Jweck realizes he "needs to be hurry." I can't remember what was the point of that.

This one was pretty decent, it was too short, but pretty much all these videos are too short.
I hope the next video is decent as this...

UNNAMED

In Correct Speech: I Have no idea what is the name of this video.

So, we see a priest-like person who tells to Mr. 9son that Anti-Weeaboos and trolls are attacking here. Then Jweck says probably the most fanciest line of all these videos.

"Trolls, What they are?"

By using the bad grammar, Jweck sounds like he isn't giving a fuck, and doesn't know that a shitload of Weeaboo Haters are coming to kill him. That must become my tagline!

Well, Priest-Dude mentions three people that-i-totally-don't-know-anything-about. Heh, i don't really want to know what those guys do these days, especially the first one!

You know, something, like, this.

 After finding out that trolls are Weeaboo and Anti-Weeaboo "hatters", Jweck says another quotable line:

"What god has created to this world???"

I mean, you're not a villain at all if you're not Christian, this guy is awesome! Why didn't i use him more?

Well, Jweck wants that Weeaboo's must be saved before basement gets ruined, and is planning to go to battlefield with president.
Priest-Dude (Who is Dr. Archy i just remembered) asks Jweck is he crazy and says that the Antis will kill him if he does that. He also tells that Nico Nico Douga's code ornaments(?) are in the basement.

Jweck says that he doesn't care, and he will go there, no matter what.

"Time is Up, We Must do peace with them both."

I Don't really think that Jweck is a villain, Anti-Weeaboos just think they are because they're stupid.

Then to the last Anti-Weeaboo War video, starring two leaders of the both armies.

FINAL JUDGEMENT

Okay, i don't remember much about this video, so let's see what they say.

"President of Weeaboo Haters, Nice to see you again."

I think Jweck thinks it's pretty satire to call Weeaboo's Antis. But Anti-Weeaboos call theirselves Antis too, so what?
President says the same words.

"This is our last fight, Probably. The Trolls are a new challenge for us."

Highest Extremetly Flat Authority tells that trolls are complaining about the Anti's and their... gayness? I Don't know was that guinness or gayness.

"Hey, how about we fuse our powers and destroy trolls together."

SING DIGIMON THEME SONG! NOW!

Well, President commands that they must stop fighting and destroy the trolls, once and for all.

Nobody knows did they win. But it's better than leaving it into a cliffhanger.

After this i tried to start new series, that didn't work, and it was also my last vid, because my youtube account was hacked and Xtranormal started to cost.

This Scrappy Doo is known as...

A Plan To Destroy Vocaloid

In Correct Speech: Haters try to delete Vocaloid from Someone's computer.

We see a hippie with a voice never heard before, he wonders where that sound comes from, and it turns out to be an old mans throne room(?).

Hippie says that he can't be serious, i agree. Then Hippie asks what he wanted from him.

Suddenly, the old man starts ranting about Vocaloid, or "Vookaloid" and he tells how that place is a hell on earth and tells that the place has rapes, drugs, alcohol, racism and even Nazi's.

I think somebody just fused Vocaloid with "Tumblr." Or then he was actually talking about Vookaloid and not Vocaloid.

But hippie tells that he thinks that Miku is loveful... but the old man interrupts hippie with a buzzer sound and "double-w-Rong". And tells that everyone in Vookaloid, this time spelled as "Vocaloid", sucks.

He even tells the hippie to grow up, and tells that he is going to destroy this evil "Infestation"

And the hippie... ugh... just replies "Oh! Okay!"

GO TO YOUR ROOM, STUPID HIPPIE!

Then the old man brokes the fourth wall by telling that "Those guys" will get something that they never forget, and mentions again some usernames...

Hippie lampshades this by asking who is he talking to, and man just replies "To Jaybus???" Followed with a late laughing track.

And then it ends.

Man those were stupid! But My mercy for Jweck has grown back again. I'm soooo going to bring him back as full time OC and nobody could stop me!

Expecially when the dude who used to stop me is doing something, like, this. And i'm out.

Fortan Reviews Crap: WrestleCrap and CRAPHOLE THE WRESTLECRAP FORUM

Okay, today i was looking for some old posts i did on Craphole, "the official Wrestlecrap Forum" and also visited to see new topics, and i've got to admit, the name really tells everything.

This is really the Craphole of Wrestling Forums and everyone act there like RD Reynolds.

Speaking of RD, i'm going to review both Craphole and it's "father", the jolly good Wrestlecrap.

Well, the word "good" doesn't exist in WrestleCrap or Craphole.

What the fuck am i talking about, you ask? Okay...

Wrestlecrap is a site that reviews shitty wrestling-related things, some that aren't even that bad, but RD is still furious about that Big Show chokeslammed him on OVW Show, and keeps mocking everything Wrestling-related like 18-year old beerdrinking Something Awful-user. His jokes are mostly crapping on EVERYONE, from the cameraman to the fucking homeless man in the audience.

I am not going to tell that RD has done bad job here, the guy has inspired a lot of sites, including THE BLOG YOU'RE READING RIGHT NOW! And my failed This Crap of Site: http://thiscrapofsite.weebly.com/

But anyways, RD and his site is full of...stupid shit but it pretty much inspired the whole "500% pessimistic reviews with a lot of curse words, personal insults and dick jokes"-genre before AVGN.

Next, we have Craphole...

ugh.....

UGH!

Let's see a typical craphole thread...

THREAD TITLE: the problem with Punk's title reign

FIRST IMPRESSION: Smark explains why Punk's title reign is lame, he compares it to better wrestler's reigns and also few curse words, personal insults and dick jokes. Others rejoice and tell why Vince McMahon is gay.


THREAD ITSELF: http://newwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=wwe&action=display&thread=13874

WHAT IT REALLY WAS: Too short, and the poster was a 5-year old smark, i had no idea what he was trying to say...

But this Josh Spicer guy is really interesting, he called me a troll when i tried to show my honest opinions. Do you call RD a troll??? Nope.

However, some of the wrestling-related threads are far more interesting than in the other forums...

Such as, they imagine if they're stuck in elevator with Vinnie Mac...

Well, nobody seems to take the thread seriously, and is full of mythology gags, personal jokes, ambiguous attemps of trolling and thankfully, not attemps to kill him or making a dick joke...

And this is the reason why i still lurk in there, no matter am i banned or what. Sense of humour these guys have is much better than RD's. Those threads make me laugh.

Wait... i turned into a flame war between a hipster and utterly sarcastic dude, why those two guys haven't been banned yet????

Good and bad sides of Craphole, in same thread, how nice...

Hipster known as silentstranger, who is anything but silent, ugh, everytime i see this guy doing a post i know there will be personal insults, curse words, but no dick jokes because they're too mainstream.

His worst enemy is, suprisingly still not banned, Naim. Like i said, he is utterly sarcastic, not 4chan-sarcastic, he is that-kind-of-sarcastic. Sarcasm that you would see in English pubs, a sarcasm that hasn't been on pages for years. Naim still knows how to use this sarcasm.

Those two guys are always fighting, no matter what. That ruins the fucking atmosphere, funny when i showed my opinions, i got banned, by...sigh...Mr. Pitch.

This silly childish gimmick poster not only bans you, but also EMBARRASSES you completetly. He edits over the posts that he doesn't like. He bans everyone, but still, he hasn't banned silentstranger...

Also because this is a wrestling forum, it's obvious you can see oldfaggortism here too. But most of the people are actually oldfags, so it''s not typical "Cena Sucks Dick"...

It's lousy, annoying, whining that takes your good mood away and makes you hate everyone and everything.

That whining made me rage towards Wrestling and that's why i got banned.

Craphole has too many arguements, and makes me always bring in popcorn. They rarely leads to thread lock, because most of the mods are sarcastic and can't take anything seriously, and yeah, did i mention the whole forum doesn't have ANY FEMALE MEMBER??? If there's a girl, it's either banned or it's male in disguise (I'm looking at you, Scorpina) so there is no equality there.

They're funny but angry, and that angriness is usually laughable. So the entire existence of forum is just a big joke. And RD is the main clown of the circus of arguements, and silentstranger is the tax inspector, and Mr. Pitch is the one who drives tax inspectors away.

I wonder what happens when they find this post, i guess they make curse words, personal jokes aaaaaand of course dick jokes, you know why? Because they're
THE CRAPHOLE THE OFFICIAL WRESTLECRAP FORUM

Omnigiantess Community AKA why awesomex18 is an idiot

Okay, the following story is not a sexfanfic, it's more like "Take That" to some old community i used to belong into, until one idiot fucked it all up.

This isn't any Filthy Fanfiction Corner, this, is the story of popularity, giant sizes, wrong decisions, and fight for the heart of a girl...

This is the story of Omnigiantesses, and how i involved with it, and how i didn't involve with it.

It all started in the early 2012, when i made a bunch of shitty collages that gave me views thru deviantart's Omnigiantess group. That was pretty darn cheap way to get views.

However, one girl saw my collages and liked them a lot, no matter how much they sucked.

Her name, i mean username, was sexyasiangirl...

I, the cold one, who just had several arguments with Dave Fandom (they ignored me after that), fell in love with her.

She inspired me to make even more collages, that got a lot of attention and also introduced me to... awesomex18, shortly AX, the founder of the whole group so he was pretty much the big boss of all the bigger-than-planet stuff on deviantart, or at least he thought he was one. Where there is giga stuff, there is AX, and nobody can't avoid it.
Well, AX invited me into his forums and there i met a lot of cool people.

Well, cool and cool until i found out they were just AX's asskissers. Ugh.

There was also Bigger-Than-Big guy, he was awesome dude and not a foolish asskisser! Sadly he's no longer active, i guess it's because of AX's jerkass attitude.

I did more shit, until i started to bring in previous feuds into there, then AX got mad and started to remove my comments to not give forum a bad name. (While there was user called anybody, who acted like a /b/ user all the time, heck, not even Craphole has one, and it's a wrestling forum with hipsters and bronies!)

That annoyed me, and i did a boycott from Giantess collages, twice. But, sexyasiangirl brought me always back, i didn't help it, she was adorable, and still is.

But it finally rushed when i realized that AX was obviously made-up boss for the omnigiantess business in deviantart and some other places and i decided to tell my honest opinion, Not only that, but also his friend Trayx, (i forgot about him!) and the founder of forum, was being a worthless dictator in the forum and was the one who targeted me with personal insults. After little "rebellion" i got banned forever, and if AX ever sees me again he is blaming me, and has probadly told everyone in those fucking forums that i don't exist. Basically i've became the Chris Benoit of the Giantess business.

Only person who still remembers me is sexyasiangirl, he noted me few days ago and told he had stopped making collages, original me would've cried, but nowadays i don't care about it much...

Now, after half a year, i returned to Omnigiantess forum to see what they were up with, and, i was disgusted.

90% of the images were shitty self-repeating MMD Images made by AX's friend, who is only friend so AX can give him requests.
Kasuko-Sa... i mean, kasuko-san, ugh, personality-lacking, crappy model making, (All the girls she creates look incredibly similar) and... errr... BORING "artist" gets all the fame and not any of the GOOD ART gets into the featured section. And no, i'm not meaning myself, my stuff was crap

Also look at one of the most recent comments someone gave to him:

Your work is incredibly done. Just wishing to express my admiration for it.

I'm sure this guy was just being sarcastic, kasuko-san's "work" is just a bunch of shitty models taken from different angles and without any kind of a plot on 'em. Yet AX forced me to use some kind of plot for my collages WHAT

I can't really blame kasuko-san, it's possible that he can't draw like me, i just think he doesn't deserve... that much. Unless he's a girl like sexyasiangirl. But no, profile states me that he's a man. He is either emo or AX just likes him because he keeps making his requests, i guess it's the later one.

I still like omnigiant stuff, no matter how idiotic AX is about it, if i see a good one i will like it.

I would like to find DNAPalmhead's "Super Smash Bros"-comic, it's not really giantess stuff, but, it might be the biggest growth thing of all time and beats AX's dull stories ANYTIME.

Why Mario and Sonic Must Move On...

Nowadays Mascot Gaming sucks, Kids play either C.O.D, Minecraft or Valve, or then they play retro games, and that's why they're bullied in school. People no longer make games with cute heroish characters who fight against actually pretty cool villains, because that wouldn't make any money.

People try to keep this mascot-thing alive, Especially, Nintendo, which has ended up becoming the most hated company of the "Big Console Billionaire Trio." Foolish kids who play C.O.D/Valve/Minecraft hate it, 4channers hate it and "THE TRUE GAYMERZ" hate it.

That's why Nintendo has Sega, which has turned into a straight-up joke with it's "darker and edgier" Sonic Games, and that's why people think Sonic is better than Mario.

WRONG, none of them are good enough to survive in this mass of nerds, LANs and Console Wars.

Alright, let's see, how we could IMPROVE these two so they would be super-popular again? Hmmm.

Mario needs to stop being repetitive and grow up

No, adding more beautiful backgrounds doesn't help

Mario made his last change back in 2007, when he jumped into space. After that we got NOTHING NEW. Just few shitty sequels of the previous games and New Super Mario Bros. series, that would be good IF THEY WOULDN'T REPEAT SAME SHIT ALL THE TIME!!!

Back in the 90's, when Nintendo was rich but stupid, they had a lot of "IdontknowanythingaboutMario"-workers, that gave birth to very weird Super Mario Land-games. They weren't canon, but they gave us the debut of Wario and Daisy. Also Nintendo messed up with CD-I and then we got Hotel Mario, which was incredibly shitty, but at least IT WAS ORIGINAL IDEA.

I think Nintendo should make a game that is completetly weird and new, basically they need to give rights to other company for a while and they must create a Mario Game and then Nintendo would publish it. That's the same way how Super Mario RPG: Legend of Seven Stars was born! Although Nintendo fanbois whined how Geno doesn't appear in the new games, and if they would do that. THAT WILL BE STILL COUNTED AS REPETITIVE.

Like i said, Mario needs to grow up, do what Sonic did. Become much darker, not "Super Paper Mario"-dark. SERIOUSLY DARK. Add blood, deaths and other stuff. Also make game kinda unmarioish so it wouldn't become so overrated like every other Mario game.

And what comes into Super Smash Bros Brawl, "FUCK IT. It's one of the most overrated games of this decade and everyone needs to stop liking it!" This quote was brought you by Dave McDonalds, go failtroll him into his Deviantart page.

If i gave this advice to Nintendo, what advice i would give to Sonic? Well...

Sonic needs to stop being furry faggot and become future teenagers Childhood icon.

You can't fap to DOWN SYNDROME SONIC!

Sonic's more popular than in the 2006, but who cares? He still can't be taken seriously after his fandom came in. He must become something that isn't causing furbitches to wet their panties. (Speaking of panties, did you knew that Dave and Jasper had a panty party last night? Thankfully Avery wasn't invented because then he would be pregnant.)

Sonic needs to become the friend of kids again. More popular than Mickey Mouse. Sonic was cooler back in his younger days, and he needs to come back into his midget persona FOR FULL BASIS, not just by appearing in a new shitty Sonic Generation that is also incredibly overrated.

Also, just like what happened with Mario, Sonic needs to get more sequels made by other companies, and actually give us Sonic X-Treme and also Eggman's Robotnik again. Because, in my opinion, Robotnik is more serious character than Eggman. Just look at him!

Seriously, you can't imagine that evil scottish head to say: "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, THE MORE THE MERRIER"

So this is it. Shortly, Mario and Sonic need to change roles. And also, don't make Mario/Sonic Crossovers anymore, so it would give an image that they're RIVALS.

SHOULDN'T YOU GUYS FIGHT INSTEAD OF TEACHING FAT KIDS THAT SPORT IS FUN???

Fortan Reviews Crap: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sorry for delays, dudes. I haven't made a blogpost after Novengelion, because i haven't came up with anything.

But, now, after i found out Avery likes Sonic again, i decided to make fun of that foolish furry icon, by reviewing ALL Sonic's games in a WrestleCrap stylish 100% pessimistic way. This isn't my official opinion, i just do it because Dave Fandom member likes this shit.

Sonic The Hedgehog is an video game mascot for Sega, and answer to Nintendo's stupid fat plumber. He once was more popular than Mickey Mouse. But sadly, now he has fallen into THAT level,

thousands of recolours, pornography, crazy fans, horrible sequels...

And Mario had only stupid fanbois, repetitive games and Weenee...

Let's start with Sonic's past, and the time when he became popular among the kids. (Yes, i said THE KIDS, not 40-year old public masturbators)

Sonic The Hedgehog (1991)

Only good thing is he doesn't look so furry.

This is the first adventure of Sonic, where evil Dr. Robotnik/Eggman has kidnapped animals, and Sonic the Animal Rights Defender must save them or else PETA would sue Sonic.
Robotnik also steal Sonic's dick, like i said in my first Filthy Fanfics Corner, which caused him to run fast.
Sonic also must find Chaos Emeralds to get into Robotnik's house and save all the animals and the whole island.

This game made Sonic popular, but PETA still sued Sonic because he was painted blue and he had no dick.

Game also got an 8-bit version, that featured a secret ending where Sonic killed Mario.

Sonic Eraser (1991)

CREATIVE.

 Sonic's second game, that debuted Tails and according to many people its the best soni...oh wait.

Why isn't this titled Sonic The Hedgehog 2? At least its a new Sonic game!
Along with this, there was SegaSonic Cosmo Fighter and Waku Waku Sonic Patrol Car, where Sonic chases terrorists with Pac-Man.

At least i think it does...

Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (1992)

Featuring Sonic, his little furry buddy, Evil scottish head and a giant two!

This is actually Sonic 4, because Eraser, Cosmo Fighter and Patrol Car came before this, but whatever.
In this game we meet Sonic and his little buddy Tails, how did they meet? I don't know, the game never told.

Robotnik has once again stolen the Chaos Emeralds and Sonic's dick. (WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE LITTLE ANIMALS? DID SONIC KILLED THEM TO CREATE TAILS OR SOMETHING?)
He uses them to power his "Death Egg". (Stealing from Star Wars. How original!)

This is also the first appearance of Mecha Sonic, who doesn't look like Mecha Sonic, more like a Garbage can that is made to resemble Sonic.

Bad Game minus five stars.

SONIC SPINBALL (1993)

This game features Sonic roasting on rails! And some rocks.

Robotnik has stolen the Mountain of St. Mobius and wants to turn it into a factory that could turn animals into robots, he has also stolen the Chaos Emeralds and this time, Sonic's balls.

In this Pinballish Action Game, Sonic must go thru random pinball levels and fight his minions!

Excuse me what?

Back in the days games were serious business, and they waste all their money to this shit?

Well, i guess they were too rich because after this, even more horrible abomination was released.

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine (1993)

Also Known as "Robotnik goes Retarded"

In This game, Sonic must defeat Robotnik who has turned all the Jelly Beans (PETA has finally gone thru) into a robot slaves. Sadly, it doesnt have Robotnik as a main character.

It's based on a cartoon, named Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog, that is known as "The Grave of Friendly Sonic." Only good thing being in that Cartoon that it didn't had furry characters unlike the later cartoons. After that, Sonic made his way on failed Sega Console called Sega CD.

Sonic CD (1993)

AUUUGH!

Robotnik stoles an ENTIRE PLANET this time and he has a NEW Mecha Sonic with him! Also the debut of Amy Rose, a bitch who was the first-ever Sonic masturbator. Game won "The biggest Nightmare Fuel Of 1993," from the screen seen above, and that's why Sonic gang decided to move on...

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG TREE! (1994)

Tails has got his cartoon look for some reason.

This was the first appearance of more serious Sonic. Robotnik stoles some shit and also finds Master Emerald. Sonic and Tails try to save the world again, but instead meet Knuckles, his future bed buddy of Furries.
It also got an expansion named Sonic & Knuckles, where Knuckles becomes a good guy. After this game Sonic 4 never came, (THAT OTHER Sonic 4 doesn't count, Real Sonic 4 is released on a Sega Console!)
After this succesful game, Sonic's downfall started, by creating a horrible Mario Kart rip-off.

Sonic Drift (1994)

This is where Sega lost ideas, after few educational games. They decided to create a rip-off of Mario Kart, in 8-bit!

Seriously, who bought this game? Probadly the same guy who bought Tails's own games, Sonic Labyrinth and so horrible Sonic Schoolhouse...

The next game, however, was something completetly different.

Knuckles Chaotix (1995)

Looks like stupid limited Sonic.

In this game Knuckles works as a bodyguard in Amusement Park, but then Robotnik attacks there and imprisons Knuckles's friend, Vector The Kremling, Espio The Chameleon, Charmy The Bee and Mighty The...Beta-Shadow? Knuckles saves his friends one at the time and must face that stupid scientist because Sonic is a bitch.

You thought this was a bad game? Wait until you see THIS!

SONIC 3D BLAST (1996)

What.

Just because Mario moved to 3D Sega had to think of Sonic doing the same, and so they created Sonic 3D Blast, that has none of the characters seen before expect Robotnik, who has kidnapped Chaos Emeralds again because he's bored.

This game was boring, and Sonic looked like he was acting and was really having some kind of a Down Syndrome.
And that's where Sonic's downfall started, my friends, thankfully, he was still far away from becoming a furry icon, after Sonic The Crimefighters and few others...

he became a furry icon.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Sonic Adventure.

Sonic Adventure (1998)

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, THE MORE THE MERRIER

Robotnik wakes up a god named Chaos, who hates everyone. Sonic and his new furry-fied friends must fight that stupid water drop in a place.

This is the part where all the characters young characters became hot and 40-year old masturbators started to love it.

And after Sonic Adventure 2, The Shitty big-dick furry overrated recolour Sonic was born we all know and love...

And so original Sonic was forgotten until he showed up again in an overrated piece of shit called Sonic Generations! Thankfully, Sonic games were released a lot LESS since the beginning days. One day we might see Sonic in "Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine 2: Yogtopussies Attack!"