I've also realized why people don't read this, it's because this is an obvious rip-off of Topless Robot's "Bad Fanfic Friday". Although, i love those guys and i try NOT to copy them.
Also, before we continue, i would like to thank each and everyone for giving this blog over 1000 VIEWS! I hope this shit gets famous before i quit one day!
Anyways, Let's start our review of next bad fanfic called "Love In The Bakery" by Rukatofan.
First of all, it's not MLP fanfic, it's Digimon fanfic and a SEX one.
Second, it doesn't have Venusmon OR Lilithmon, so you can go away now.
Third, It's about the relationship of Rika Nonaka or "Ruki" as you weeaboos call her AND Takato. Who is Takato? Lex Luger gives thou an answer.
And what comes to Rika, she's a bitch. Not Asuka-Bitch, but a real bitch. From looks she isn't bad, but in personality she's just a foolish emo.
Tell me if i'm wrong, i haven't watched Tamers even though D-Reaper is based on Angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Anyways, let's start this shit:
Takato sighed as he slid the pan of bread into the oven and shut the door, wiping sweat off of his forehead with his arm. He spent every evening after the bakery was closed making the loaves and treats that he would sell the next day.
A Male working on Bakery? Man Dat's Gay!
It was a lonely life, with his parents traveling the world and most of his friends away at college. But this was what he wanted to do with his life. Even at 20 years, he had everything he wanted.
Takato wants to do bread for his life? Man, he is more depressed than Shinji.
Everything except company. It was hard to think about sometimes, but the fact that he rarely saw any of his friends anymore was a little depressing. Add to that the fact that he was single, and had been all of his life.
Who gives a shit if you have a wife? If you don't have wife, you can masturbate all day long!
"Sometimes, life sucks," he complained under his breath. He'd gotten used to talking to himself, so he didn't expect it when someone answered him.
Expect, if the room had someone in there, like, LA PARKA!
"Life always sucks," someone replied behind him.
He practically jumped out of his skin and whirled around to see who could possible be trespassing into his bakery after hours. Even though it had been at least five years, it didn't even take him a full second to recognize the young woman standing before him casually. "R-Rika!" he blurted.
"I ALWAYS RECOGNIZE YOU! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS COMPLAINED!", Takato added.
And it was Rika, too. She was taller now, taller than most girls, but it in no way made her look lanky or strange. Her figure had changed to be more voluptuous in its curves, though it was easy to see that she was super toned and athletic.
Give me an image what she looks like so i can masturbate into it, i mean, nothing!
Takato could only stare with his mouth slightly open, admiring her perfect figure and perky breasts.
EW YOU NASTY!
He quickly tried to regain his control and looked up at her eyes as fast as he could.
Then he wished he hadn't. They were as icy as he always remembered, a perfect blend of violet and amethyst that swirled together as though the colors were always changing. He always got lost in those eyes, and it wasn't any different now. Why did she always do this to him?
Because YOU LOOKED AT HER FUCKING EYES!
DON'T LOOK AT HER EYES LOOK AT THE BREASTS
DON'T LOOK AT HER EYES LOOK AT THE BREASTS
DON'T LOOK AT HER EYES
LOOK AT THE FACKIN' BREASTS
"Yes, yes, it's me," she shrugged, | |
| IT'S ME IT'S ME IT'S DEE-OH-DOUBLE-GEE AND BY MY SIDE AS ALWAYS, JOSH "LOOK AT THE BREASTS" MATTHEWS AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION, OF ARE YOU SERIOUS |
What are you guys looking at? Are you expecting me to make a bad joke of that sentence or something? No? Good, because i didn't came up with anything.
"Look, I know this is really sudden and all, but can I stay in your house for a while? I'm in town for the next month or so, and I've got nowhere else to go. You were always a good friend to me so I thought…" he voice trailed off, and she stared at him expectantly.
Is Rika really that stupid? She has got sexy breasts and fabulous breasts, and she's an Anime Girl! Takato would rape her anytime!
Takato had to focus to snap out of his staring, and couldn't help noticing that Rika didn't even care that he'd been staring at her like that. Maybe she was used to it? "Of course you can stay here," he answered quickly. "It's just me, so it'll be nice to have some company for a while. What's going on? I thought you moved to Tokyo."
Doesn't EVERY Anime happen in Tokyo? Well, at least in every Digimon season...
"No, my Mother and Grandma moved to Tokyo. I only went because I was still living with them while I was growing up. I'm 20 now, you know." She rolled her eyes and found a chair in the kitchen, pulling it over and sitting down. "I'm just here job hunting, and I've got nowhere to stay and no money till I find work."
Looking for jorb? Well, we've got an empty Slot on Bluster's Barrelworx! Get over there and i'm sure you'll get a lot of WORK!
Takato nodded, then dusted flour off of himself and untied his apron,
MALE WEARS AN APRON?????????!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I GUESS IT'S A PINK ONE TOO!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
letting it rest on the nearest counter space. "Come on, I'll show you where you can stay. I've got the place to myself for what may be the rest of my life, so I can easily set you up in one of the guest rooms. Sound alright? I'll even let you stay free until you get a job."
Why Rika doesn't believe that Takato obviously wants to molest her? I thought women think EVERY SINGLE MALE is a pervert, especially an APRON-WEARING ONE!
"You'd charge an old friend rent?" Rika asked, narrowing her eyes in what seemed like anger.
"What are you, Stupid?"
But Takato could remember her well enough to know when she was joking and when she was serious. He always had, and that hadn't changed over the years. Especially when she was the one he thought of the most.
"Don't worry," he teased back, letting a grin slide onto his face.
EW YOU NASTY
"It'll only be a little bit. I'm not that greedy, but I will need some help with things like utilities. It gets more expensive with two people instead of one."
Rika thought about it, then nodded. "Fair," she said. "It's a deal. Show me that room."
The evening was getting late, and as Takato finished preparing everything for the store the next day, he focused on getting dinner ready for Rika and himself. It was weird and exciting that she was here, and he couldn't help feeling elated about it. Rika is here, staying in my house! He thought to himself with a smile. I used to fantasize about something like that. But now that it's actually happening, I don't even know how to act!
Just don't do anything. Why you stupid apron-wearing, Tai-copying, pie-eating, breast-stalking hairbrush can't get a REAL girlfriend? (See what i did there?)
His trail of thought was interrupted as Rika herself walked into the kitchen. She had taken off her shoes—a courtesy Takato had awkwardly asked her to do while living with him—and her footsteps were quiet along the wood floor. "Is that dinner?" she asked, staring at the rice and curry that Takato had been preparing for them.
Rice and Curry? Thank you for reminding me that they don't live in America...
I can obviously imagine Asuka in the place of Rika and Shinji in the place of Takato in this fanfic, it's obvious that Digimon Tamers is based on NGE, and not even Avery Petrie knows about it!
Only difference between the characters is that Shinji doesn't wear apron! He can cook, but come on!
"Looks delicious.
MOIST AND DELICIOUS! *congratulations for making your first tf2 reference Fortan, hope you don't make more*
I'm so hungry. Smelling that fresh bread baking was driving me crazy." She rubbed her stomach with her hand, making a face as it rumbled. Somehow it just made her look cute and sexy.
AND SEXY? RUMBLING FACE IS SEXY ACCORDING TO TAKATO??? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, APRON-BOY?? BACK TO THE KITCHEN!
Takato chuckled out loud. "Oh, Rika," he said. He dished out two plates of curry and rice and walked out to the dining room, Rika trailing behind him. He set them down before chairs that sat across from each other, and went back into the kitchen
for the rest of the utensils. When he came back, she was already seated, her mouth practically drooling.
"That's Sexy" Takato thought.
"Itadakemasu," she said quickly, clapping her hands together and bowing slightly.
Do you japs really need to have those ridiculous food rituals, In the modern European Union, the maker of food just screams "Diner", eat and then say "Thank you."
She didn't wait for him to respond and instantly dug in, eating with a fury.
"That's Sexy" Takato thought.
"Wow, you really were hungry," he offered, and sat down. As they ate, he watched her with thoughtful eyes. How was it that she was back in town with no money and no job? Wouldn't it be super easy for her to find a modeling position? With her mother's influence in the profession it couldn't be that difficult. So why was she really here? He shook his had faintly at himself. Oh get over yourself. She wouldn't come back just for you.
I'd rather live in some other city in Japan than Tokyo. TOKYO IS FOR LOSERS, PEOPLE!
"So," she said, breaking into his thoughts once more. "You like taking over the bakery?"
"Yeah," he answered quickly. "I could do this all my life. It gets a little lonely sometimes, but it's not unbearable."
 | |
| Yes it is... |
Rika's smile was a little wry, but she chuckled and slid her empty plate to the side so she could place her elbows on the table and rest her chin upon her hands.
"That's sexy" Takato thought.
"And you could always see through me," she replied. A sigh followed her words, and she paused a while before continuing. "The truth is, I can find work whenever I want. I have more agencies calling me than I care for, and when I feel like it, I'll pick one. But I just needed a break from the crazy schedules, the constant bickering and primping
Did she just said "pimping?"
primping
Oh thank you, for a while i thought the writer of this fanfic had changed the roles
and being told I need to lose weight…"
she rolled her eyes. "It's horrible. Do you know what they call you in the modeling industry? They nickname you after your worst fault, and that's all you ever hear. Hey 'big nose,' or hey 'surfboard,' or 'zit face.'
Or 'bitch', but this is a kids fanfic! That's why it's rated M for Mini right????!!!!!???
It's horrible, and I'm sick of it." She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.
Takato shook his head. "That is horrible," he agreed, somewhat angry about it. Why would those people take the most beautiful people on the planet, and basically torture them and force them to be perfect. And still, all they did was name them something that probably wasn't even a fault at all. "Faults aren't bad," he said scowling. "They're what makes a person unique and worth knowing and loving. If anything, those things that are called faults are the most precious part. Without them, you'd just look like everybody else."
Sooooo that's why you wear apron?
Rika stared at him, sort of surprised by his outburst, and then smiled at him. "That was sweet," she teased. "I kind of like seeing you get all upset like that. It's cute."
"aaaand sexy!" Takato added.
Takato's face blushed a little. Not because being called cute was annoying to a guy, but because Rika had said it in such a way.
AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE...
It was almost seductive. He cleared his throat and stood up, grabbing their plates. "I'll just put these in the kitchen," he said, walking that way.
Rika chuckled out loud, following him. "You're so shy," she teased, poking his ribs and making him jump a little.
I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT! THAT ISN'T A SIGN OF LOVE! THEY JUST DO THAT SO THEY COULD ANNOY YOU!
"But it's just one of the things I love about you."
...
He nearly dropped the plates, managing to get them into the seat without breaking. "Wait, what?" he blurted, turning to face her. "Did you just say you loved me?"
.......
She clasped her hands behind her back, making a face like she was thinking about it and swaying her hips from side to side. "Well, not in so many words," she taunted. "But yeah, I guess I do."
If there would be another thing i would hate about this fanfic, it would be that they use too much body language.
Takato felt his face flush red. Here was the girl that he'd thought about almost every day since he met her, the same girl that would probably kill him if he even hinted that he liked her, and she was telling him that she loved him. How was he supposed to respond to this? "R-Rika!" he managed to get her name out. "This doesn't really seem like you but…"
"JUST KIDDING!"
"But?" She asked, walking forward coyly. She stopped a foot away, leaning her face towards his. She'd gotten taller, probably more than most girls in Japan, but he was at least a head taller than her.
YOU VANILLA MIDGET!
"Truth is, Takato, I've loved you since you first came into my life and made me realize what friendship truly was. I loved you the second you treated
Somewhere there, Avery Petrie's childhood was ruined...
Takato felt himself leaning towards her as she spoke, feeling her breath on his face. He could hardly believe was he was hearing. "I loved you the first time I saw you, in my dream. I never thought you would ever love me back, though. I thought you'd kill me if I ever let on that I even liked you."
.....................
"The old me might have," she grinned, lifting her chin and staring into his chocolate colored eyes.
Chocolate? Ugh, that's not sexy.
"But now all I can think about is you. When I came back into town and heard that you were here, I didn't want to go anywhere else."
Also because Tokyo and Kanto are full of losers!
There were only inches left between them, and Takato felt a rush of desire fill him that he had no mind to ignore. He closed the distance between them with a passionate kiss, and Rika answered back forcefully. Her lips felt so soft and alluring, and though he didn't have much experience with kissing, it seemed to come so naturally to him.
........................................
His hands snaked around her waist, pulling her close to his body, and she raised hers to circle his neck. He paused a second to breathe and suddenly her tongue slipped into his mouth, her kiss exploding with passion. Her fingers gripped his hair, pulling him closer to her, and he felt himself growing warmer with each second.
..............................................................
Rika was good at this. Every moment was bliss, and the tension in his body that her kissing caused was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Still, the fact that she was the one French kissing made him feel competitive. Her personality was the type that wanted to be in control, but that didn't mean he was going to let her take the lead without a fight! Between breaths he forced his tongue past hers, exploring her mouth fully. It was like a battle that neither of them wanted to end, but for some reason Rika pulled away and stepped back.
Good, that was incredibly romantic ^_^
Breathless, Takato looked at her with new eyes, admiring her face and figure as he'd never felt the freedom to do before. He loved every inch of her, and despite his desire to treat women with respect, all he wanted was to see her naked.
AND THEN THE ROMANCE WAS RUSHED LIKE A GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE!
"Come on," she whispered, grinning and walking backwards. "I'd do you here, but I know you want to keep the kitchen clean."
WELL, AT LEAST SHE KNOWS THE COMMON SENSE AND DOESN'T TURN THIS SHIT INTO A PORN FANFIC
Takato felt himself blush red, and he coughed in surprise. "Rika!" he blurted.
Why the writer of this shit loves the word "blurted"? That sounds disgusting in my opinion!
"Oh come on," she rolled his eyes. "What are you, a virgin?
 |
| I'M SURE DAT GUY'S STILL A VIRGIN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! |
We both know where this is going. You want it, don't you?" she moved closer to him, swaying her hips seductively. "And I want it too."
"That's Sex... oh wait. That really is sexy!
He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he wasn't an idiot. Walking forward, he reached for her and grabbed her waist, pulling her against him and kissing her. "Course I want it," he whispered huskily. "It's just a little new to me." He kissed her mouth, her chin, her jaw line, and her neck. She sighed loudly with pleasure.
More childhood-ruinage! Let's see how this ends!
"Then let's go," she whispered back. Within seconds they were stumbling up the stairs towards Takato's bedroom, not breaking contact as they explored each other's mouths with their tongues.
WILL YOU STOP IT?!
The door was left open, and they practically fell onto the bed. Rika moaned as his kisses migrated back to her neck. She wanted feel the skin of his chest against hers, and reached her hands down to tug his shirt upward. "Take it off," she ordered, pulling it over his head and tossing it on the floor. Her lips turned up in a smile as she studied his chest. "My, my, you've been working out!"
Oh god, Don't tell me he has a sixpack. If he does, that means he's a former Tamer with muscles and obsession with bakery.
Takato grinned, reaching his hands around her neck so that he could pull off her jewelry, and followed that by ripping off her shirt and admiring her red lacy bra. "It beats doing nothing every evening,"
 |
| Yes, and for my next parlor trick, I shan't make anything appear! |
he replied. And it was true. He had been working out every day, toning his body and conditioning himself. "Cardiovascular Health is important, you know."
Now Takato is just being a Marty-Stu.
"Shut up," Rika growled, gripping his hair with her fingers.
He chuckled and responded by continuing to kiss her neck. His hands moved so that he could feel her breast, rubbing his fingers over her hard nibbles.
 |
| She had THIS in her breasts? Wow! |
Yet you are so ugly you wear an apron...
"Course I'm beautiful," she joked. "I'm a model." She smiled at him as he took her breasts in his hands and began to massage them.
NIBBLA! *Chomp*
"Yessss," she moaned, arching her back. They weren't the largest breasts, but they were full and perky, and incredibly sensitive. "Suck on them," she ordered.
I CAN! I CAN! I CAN! I CA...oh sorry, i didn't see you guys were still here...
Takato moved his face down to do just that. Sucking on her right nipple, he lapped at it in a circular motion, flicking it occasionally with the tip of his tongue. With his other hand he massaged her left breast, rubbing his thumb against the hardened nipple at all the right moments. She breathed loudly, sexily, and clenched the hair at the back of his neck with his fingers.
You know i don't hate every sexfanfic, i loved the one with Shinji and Asuka, and i thought it was a good ending. BUT THIS ONE ISN'T!
Without thinking, Takato pulled his hand away and reached downward, unbuttoning her pants and trying to pull them off. He had to stop what he was doing so he could finish, yanking the skinny jeans off as though he hated them. Rika giggled as he tossed them onto the floor and turned back. "Skinny jeans are a little inconvenient," he said.
WATCH OUT! IT'S PORN TIME AGAIN!
She yanked him down on top of her without replying. Beginning where he left off, he began to suck at her other breast, and slowly trailed his fingers down her sculpted stomach. They reached her red lace underwear and traced the edge of them for a second, before he slipped his hand inside. As his fingers slowly ran along the edge of her moist entrance, a loud moan escaped her mouth. He smiled, biting gently against her nipple at the same moment that he stuck a finger inside her.
Slowly he eased it in and out, rubbing her clitoris with his thumb. She squirmed and moaned in pleasure, her hips bucking once as he increased his speed and stuck a second finger inside. Not long after, he slipped in a third and thrust into her with a steady pace, With his thumb he rubbed and massaged the sensitive nub of nerve endings, and he moved his face upward so he could kiss her mouth passionately.
"Takato!" she moaned, her voice muffled by his tongue in her mouth. Her back arched as the tension inside her built up like a volcano waiting to explode. She was so close… "Faster!" she gasped.
His arm was getting tired, but he smiled and thrust faster and deeper inside her, finding that spot that gave her the most pleasure. She gasped and moaned, bucking her hips with his movements until her body grew stiff and her walls tightened around Takato's hand. She threw her head backwards and arched her back, screaming out his name as she orgasmed violently. As she writhed on the bed in ecstasy, Takato pulled his hand out and licked his fingers, liking the taste. He ripped her panties off of her and spread her hips open, leaning his face downwards so he could lap up her juices with his tongue. She practically gripped his head with her legs, holding him in place and moaning with pleasure.
"Oooooh, yessss! T-Ta-kato! Mmmmm….." Her head tossed back and forth. By the time her orgasm died down, she already felt the tension returning to her body from the ministrations of his tongue on her vagina and clitoris. His tongue moved like magic inside her, thrusting, lapping, licking and sucking as her wet juices streamed into his mouth, and he hummed with pleasure as he drank it all up.
Within minutes, she felt another climax growing in her. She grabbed her own breasts with her hands, massaging them and groaning out his name. Bucking her hips against his face, she cried out and came into his ready mouth, enjoying every second as he licked her clean.
He pulled back and sat on the bed, watching her squirm with a lopsided grin on his face. "Oh Rika," he murmured. "You're so sexy…"
"T-T-Taka-to…" Rika stuttered back, turning her head and smiling at him with a glowing expression. "You're amazing…Mmmmm…"
He stood and pulled off his pants and boxers, revealing his large and erect penis, then sat back down beside her. "Yeah, I am," he teased. He took her hand and wrapped it around his member, sighing at her touch. He locked eyes with her and grinned. "My turn."
Okay, that's enough. But, this didn't end yet, because this fanfic has THREE MORE CHAPTERS!!
What the hell? The start was okay, but then it turned into a shitty rule 34-story.
They basically have sex for next 3 chapters, i'm too lazy to review them anyway.
But at least this story gave me a lot of running gags to use in the future!
Thank you for reading! Please Comment what fanfic i should review next!
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