Fortan's Filthy Fanfiction Corner: Super Mario Randomness One And Two

I'M BAAAACK! After watching Dramatic Readings of fanfiction several times i decided to step up and review another horrifying fanfiction.

This girl i found has a lot of bad fanfictions so i guess i should check those out too.
No, they're not yaoi, but they're filled with old memes. Yaoi is actually better than old memes because only yaoi i like is Kawoshin.

Ok, let's start this "randomness", i enjoy random humour, but not TOO RANDOM! It must be classy random like Homestar Runner or Charlie Chaplin!

Warning: These are basically pre-2010 Youtube Poop's in a text form.

The Most Random Mario Story Ever
I do not own any Mario characters. Nintendo owns them.

That still doesn't save you from Lamar Smith.

Mario: Hey Luigi,
Luigi: What?
Mario: Armadillos lurk in your toaster.

Is that a MrWeebl reference?

Luigi: What the-
Mario: IMMA SCATMAN!

And there the unoriginality starts.

Yoshi: I am gonna eat a chocolate covered lemon!
Mario: Are you nuts? Sour and sweet don't mix!

LOLLLL SPENGBAB REFERENCE... i think?

Bowser: THIS! IS! SPARTA!

Irony?

Peach: Nobody cares about the summer of '83!

Gumball reference, oh boy. This sucks.

Daisy: It is OVER 9000!

Rosalina: Pancakes are waaaaay better than waffles.

Why, Rosalina, Why?

King Boo: WHAT? YOU BETTER TAKE THAT BACK , YOU, UM, PANCAKE LOVER!
Rosalina: Oh yeah? Make me, you waffle freak!
*Rosalina and King Boo start fighting*
Mario: Where has this day gone…
THE END
I KNOW IT'S REALLY BAD BUT THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC SO PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW ANYWAY.

Yes, i know it's bad, so stop posting these. This should've posted when those memes were FUNNY!
But wait! There's more!

I SAID MORE, NOT MOORE!

It was a beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom until...
Mario: NARWHALS NARWHALS SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN!

Kill meeee.....

Luigi: I baked you a pie!
Mario: Oh boy! What flavor?
Luigi: Pie flavor!

a..
s..
d..
f..
......

Daisy: HI I'M DAISY HI I'M DAISY HI I'M DAISY.

Thank you for making Daisy look like a complete moron.

Peach: Eu tenho uma pedra de estimação chamado Cabeça Poopie!
Daisy: Lol what?

It has "poop" on it. It's not funny.

Meanwhile at Bowser's Castle...
Bowser: Got your nose!
Policemen: Watch out, he's got a nose! *tackle Bowser to the ground*

a..
s..
d..
f..
i know i should feel sad for the guy because his friend is dead.
but still.

Ludwig: CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY! SWEETIE SWEETIE GIRLS LOVE! CHEWING CHEWING CHEWING CHEWING CHEWING! CUTIE CUTIE SO CANDY LOVE! CANDY LOVE CANDY LOVE!

What the fuck is wrong with you, Ludwig.

Wendy: I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie wo-oo-rld. Made of plastic, it's fantastic!

I just imagined that in Kootie Pie's voice. TOLERANCE LEVEL: EXCEEDED!!!!!!!!!!

Lemmy, Roy, and Moron(LOL I wrote moron!): Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!

If she didn't say that she wrote Moron, it would've been the only funny part in the story.

Also >Nyan Cat.

Now we are missing Harlem Shake and Ghaggam Style, then i will give up on fanfiction forever.

Larry and Iggy: THROW THE CHEESE! *Throws cheese at everyone*

I wish you wouldn't do that!

Up in space, Rosalina was reading to the Lumas up in space.
Luma: Tell us the duck story.
Rosalina: Okay. Well,
(Bum bum bum, ba-dum ba-dum)
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
And he said to the man, running the stand
"Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?"
The man said,
"No we just sell lemonade. But it's cold
And it's fresh
And it's all home-made. Can I get you
glass?"
The duck said,
"I'll pass".
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle)
'Til the very next day.
(Bum bum bum bum Bum ba-dum)
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand,
"Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?
The man said,
"No, like I said yesterday
We just sell lemonade OK?
Why not give it a try?"
The duck said,
"Goodbye."
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(Waddle waddle)
'Til the very next day.
(Bum bum bum bum bum ba-dum)
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand,
"Hey! (bum bum bum) Got any grapes?
The man said,
Look, this is getting old.
I mean, lemonade's all we've ever sold.
Why not give it a go?"
The duck said,
"How 'bout, no."
Then he waddled away
(Waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(Waddle waddle)
'Til the very next day.
(Bum bum bum bum bum ba-dum)
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand,
"Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?"
The man said,
"THAT'S IT!
If you don't stay away, Duck,
I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day, stuck.
So don't get to close!"
The duck said,
"Adios."
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(Waddle waddle)
'Til the very next day.
(Bum bum bum bum bum ba-dum)
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand,
"Hey! (Bum bum bum) got any glue?"
"What?"
"Got any glue?"
"No, why would I– oh!"
And one more question for you;
"Got any grapes?"
(Bum bum bum, bum bum bum)
And the man just stopped.
Then he started to smile.
He started to laugh.
He laughed for a while.
He said,
"Come on duck, let's walk to the store.
I'll buy you some grapes
So you won't have to ask anymore."
So they walked to the store
And the man bought some grapes.
He gave one to the duck and the duck said,
"Hmm... No thanks. But you know what sounds good?
It would make my day.
Do you think this store...
Do you think tis store...
Do you think this store...has any… lemonade?"
(Fading)
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away.
(Waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(Waddle waddle)

...

Was that really important? At all?

Luma:(with tears in his eyes) That. Was. Beautiful!

I can tell a better story...

*ahem*
Once upon a time, Gordon Freeman wanted Fish!
But, when it came to tea time there was nothing on his dish
so,  Gordon Freeman said "I Must go to the store!"
And, when he had arrived, there was black guy at the door!
Oh me, oh my, a black guy at the door!
Ok, that was horrible.

Meanwhile at a haunted mansion...
King Boo: Do you like waffles?
Some Boos: Yeah we like waffles!
King Boo: Do you like pancakes?
Boos: Yeah we like pancakes!
King Boo: Do you like French toast?
Boos: Yeah we like French toast!
King Boo and Boos: Do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!
Waffles!
Waffles!
Waffles!
Yeah, do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!
King Boo: Do you like waffles?
Some Boos: Yeah we like waffles!
King Boo: Do you like pancakes?
Boos: Yeah we like pancakes!
King Boo: Do you like French toast?
Boos: Yeah we like French toast!
King Boo and Boos: Do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!

...

THAT WASN'T NEEDED EITHER!

Meanwhile in Diamond City, two twin girls just got out of work for the day.
Kat: Hey, you know how Mona Pizza serves coffee now?
Ana: Yeah?
Kat: You know about how you can have them write your name on the cup and have them

Ok this is possibly stolen joke so i won't show the full story.

Ashley: Katniss, huh? That prank never gets old.

Meanwhile at Wario and Waluigi's place...
Wario: WHAT?! YOU DIVIDED BY ZERO?!
Waluigi: Sorry! I didn't mean to!
Wario: Well, it's too late for that! Now look what you did!
A black hold appears from nowhere. It grows larger and larger until it's the size of the entire planet. The black hole then sucks up the entire planet from existence.
That's what happens when you divide by zero.

No it doesn't! Ugh, that was horrible. Bunch of old fads and references to bad shows.
But tune in next week, when we come back to review the next fapfic! Whatever it is, before that, So Long, Gay Bowser!

HEHEHEHEHEHE GEDDIT? THAT WAS A JOKE LIEK BANANAS EHEHEHEHE
GIRL YOU KNOW ITS GIRL YOU KNOW ITS GIRL YOU KNOW ITS GIRL YOU KNOW ITS TROGDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!! I WANNA BE A HULKAMANIAC, A FUN WITH FAMILY AND DIE!

oh chess, i need to take a sauce.

Crash Mania and It's Idiotic Fanatics.

THIS IS OUTDATED! CM FORUM IS NO LONGER PART OF CRASH MANIA! SO FORGET ALMOST EVERYTHING THIS SAYS! I'M NO LONGER ALLOWED TO LIKE CRASH!!

As you may know, the Crash Bandicoot Fanbase was shattered this week by this image.

I AM THE COUNTER FROM ONCE UPON A TIME...MAN!

This very image ended up causing two-sided havoc. Kids believed it was real, while the angsty 40-year old virgins at the CM Forum thought it was fake and wanted the show the message.
The video where Bring Back Bandicoot ranted about this image being fake, ended up being the biggest cause of shitstorms since the infamous "prototype incident". NOT THAT PROTOTYPE INDICENT!

Crash Mania was blamed for hating Crash, to be honest, i think they strongly dislike Crash because they hate the fanprojects and other Crash sites, just visit the Crash Mania, how many of them even have Crash on their icon? I know not everybody on Craphole have wrestler on their icon, but still, those people are a bunch of dicks.

I find it pretty ironic that they're trying to "Bring Crash Back", via their stupid petition, but what if it has completetly opposite meaning? They're trying to keep Crash away so Activision can keep making Call Of Duty?

A lot of people who act in that behaviour like people in Crash Mania act that way, they might be bunch of angry 4chan veterans who don't believe that platforming would be a success anymore.

I demand Crash Mania will be closed along with it's crappy forums, and also stop that horrible petition that has done nothing but damage.

Also, BringBackBandicootCM called me a moron.
IS THAT HOW YOU ACT TOWARDS PEOPLE? OWNER OF SITE THAT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS???

Dave McDonalds Rants: WHITE JACKETS????

i saw this shit today and it fucking sucked. seriously, a white jacket??? for me? dave mcdonalds?
if you want to find out what the fuck is this, then watch this picture.

do you see that? i look like a motherfucking child cartoon character!!!! i am uglier than mouse nicky!

FUCKING NICKY YOU STOLE MY ARMANDO! YOU AREN'T EVEN THAT HOT! YOU KNOW WHAT NICKY? GO KILL YOURSELF, YES, COMMIT SUICIDE! SLICE YOUR THROAT OPEN! I SAW YOUR TUMBLR AND IT FUCKING SUCKED! AND DON'T TRY TO SHOW YOUR UGLY FACE AND SCREAM "NICKY" ON MY FACE FOR TEN HOURS STRAIGHT! HERE IN  CROATIA I'M HAVING MY GUNS ALREADY! I WANT MY BLUE SHIRT BACK EVEN ARMANDO LIKES IT!

FUCK WORLD AND IT'S PREGATORY!!!!

Not Caring doesn't matter anymore.

For all these years i've heard how much people don't care about me. How they don't give a fuck, shit or anything what i do, what i say and what i think.

But you know what? That is just too silly, i mean, why should anyone tell me that they don't care what i do? That doesn't weaken me, that just wants me to do more.

"Anything i say doesn't mean anything anymore".

WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN BY THAT? That i don't matter anymore? Listen up, just because YOU say it doesn't matter does it mean it really matters? It's just YOUR Opinion. When i say it, it's the truth because i am the target, i am the person does all the things that do not matter to you. If i would say it doesn't matter, THEN it wouldn't matter.

I can tell whatever i fucking want, this is internet. Here's the freedom of speech, so i can say what i want to, act how i want to, mock who i want to and DO what i want to.

And if you think i have no life, it's just your opinion, even if i showed up once a year you would STILL tell me i have no life, besides "YOU HAVE NO LIFE"-skit is old shit and only newfags use it.

Listen up, i am making good numbers at school, i DO have a life, because i have a time to improve it.

Telling me that you don't give a fuck, that is just pathetic and you're too lazy to see that bullshit, and you might be even afraid! So in that logic, you're a pussy. So when you say "I don't care" or something like that you're really saying "I don't bother to see your stuff because i'm a huge coward and i don't want to see your shit because i'm afraid i might get butthurt."

So it's better to see it or just stay fucking silent.

Also, telling me to "leave" or "shut the fuck up" NEVER works, do you really think words can hurt. I've seen many insults, and words hurt more when they're shouted STRAIGHT ON YOUR FACE. Internet is a different thing, or then it's just me.

You see, everything i say will matter at some point. You guys just are too lazy to answer because you try to show that you have a "life", that is just stupid. How much do your fingers hurt when you write a sentence??? You are just a worthless, piece of boredom, and i will be always better than you, in some way at least, The End. 

Fortan's Worst Of The Week 6-7

Welp, we promised a hiatus, but we are still here to rant about the five worst things happened on this week in world and the personal Circle!

1. The Opinion Arguement On Craphole!
Surpisingly it's not SilentStranger, it's tgb. He started to argue with everyone from CM Punk's title reign. There are arguements everyday in Craphole, but this one gone straight for 4 PAGES! That is a record, son!
Madness starts here: http://newwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=wwe&action=display&thread=14486&page=5

Pictured: Not the Pope, but close enough.

2. The Pope Resigns
So, the whole catholic world was shattered when pope announced his retirement. Nowadays, Pope means nothing because atheism is taking over the world slowly. But people like AX or silentstranger have started to rant how this generations pope Benedictus sucked, because he allowed rape (HOW SURPISING)
I think the next pope will be George Clooney, oh come on! He even has white hair!

3. Avery is still a hater, What a suprise!
I don't like Dave and Armando (As you can see), and i told it to Avery. Suddenly Avery thought i was still hating on him! I thought he thought i thought i had apologized! I don't even know anymore... although one of the things made me laugh that Dave found it out that "Dave and Armando aren't worth liking" INSULTING. Pfft. People have told me that right in my face IN EVEN WORSE WAY. However if Dave is still aggressive he might get... Lu... i mean forbidden by Avery.
4. More Brony Drama
This week has got a lot of drama... Fighting Is Magic getting cancelled and more Alicorn Twilight, one of the biggest things however, was this:

NOW IN THREE COLORS

Yes, as you can see. THERE IS A MOVIE COMING OF HUMAN MLP GIRLS. No, that may be true. And it caused a huge shit storm that all the bronies were so thin, and wanted to respect equal opportunities, just like Armando.

Seriously, if they all were like NICKY!, that wouldn't be amusing either.
 
5. Fortan Reviews Everything Runs Out of Ideas!
Yes, this blog just doesn't feel so fun anymore (and i can't find bad enough fanfic). So expect hiatus, thankfully, i had time to make this.

Honourable Mentions:
Anjelo was EpicTroll all the time!
AX's Angered Message out of nowhere
Bruno Sammartino gets inducted into WWE Hall of Fame
Bigger-than-big is gone too.
FANDOMSTUCK

This Blog Will Go For A Short Hiatus

I've got a lots of projects under my hands so don't expect stuff for a while.

Fortan Reviews Everything's Worst Of The Week! 5-6

1. Giga-Sakura Says Goodbye!


We knew it would happen... sexyasiangirl left collaging... i left collaging... and Giga-Sakura is leaving the whole community of GTS.




She was a nice person, and she will definetly be missed. I guess AX is behind it somehow...

2. Alicorn Twilight!

I am not a brony, but hell, soon there aren't any bronies because "HAZNOBRO" breaks them up. You see, Twilight Sparkle has turned into a winged thing. And bronies don't like it because it makes her Mary Sue. And series will jump the shark and molest it and then burn it.
The whole hate towards Alicorn-ified Twilight Sparkle is incredibly silly. And i know i should shut up about ponies, but if MLP:FiM-fad "dies" it definetly makes the list.

But otherwise those crapsacks stay away from my trashcan.


3. GigaSurfer Blogpost causes one hell of a mess.
Fortan Reviews Everything losed it's reputation after making a blogpost about Rantists, that featured the-word-that-i-dont-mention. Some stranger even made a comment on it, one of the very rare things you can find from this blog. I hope this doesn't repeat.

4. Super Bowl Black-Out

All the fat americans lo... i mean, ALL THE NON-ARIZONAN Americans love Super Bowl! Sadly something happened and electricity was taken off for half an hour and many fathers took a divorce.

But no worries! OREO cookies saved the day with epic advertisement! (The ad will be reused when Solar Storms shut down the most of Earth's electricity)

5. Tumblr Day Leaked!
I don't see why people hate fads when Forced fads are much worse. I am afraid of April's 1st but now i also have to be afraid of March 3rd. The day when all the crazy little tumblr people show how Transvestite they are. Ugh, i'd rather celebrate World Math Day than that.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Fortan's horrible school season!
5thHorseman it's nuts and Mental Pills still don't work!
Comment on Tachin's video causes one hell of a mess!

See you next Tuesday!