FortCrap: My Old Xtranormal Videos!

Okay, i'm presenting you another new corner of our blog that you probably never see again because Triple-F of Doom takes all the time and nobody would even care about it anyway.

Anyways, this is FortCrap, where i review all the shit I have done in the past, yeah, my internet life was pretty shitty. And it still kinda is, i haven't tried to learn anything and i keep running a unfunny blog that is only viewed by swedish admin site robots.

But back to the past, i deleted my old deviantart account so i might never see my old stuff ever again, however, i found my old xtranormal account full of Anti-Japan messages, which is kind of ironic because, i'm not a weeaboo, but i seem to like anime stuff a lot. I don't that much care about Japan or roam in Anime sites, but Evangelion is the greatest piece of moving pictures i've ever seen and also hentai fucking rocks. But this was that time, that time i call "Lord Harry", that time when every person who liked Japanese stuff even a small piece was automatically a kawaii-desu weeaboo who had to be executed.

Let's see how it went, with the first video known as

HOW TO PEOPLE BECOME ANTI-WEEABOO

In correct speech: "How people become Anti-Weeaboos" or "How to make himself look like a(n) complete asshat", lets view this shit:

First scene has an unnamed boy with a voice that sounds like... i can't figure out what he sounds like, but that sounds like a british accent. Well, the boy tells he has now a lot of time and...
"Heh who are you???". And out of nowhere comes the "Anti-Weeaboo Spy" , he looks like detective, because according to Valvefags Spies are mask-wearing arrogant suit-dudes who sap people's poor sentries.

Back to the video, boy is interested what exactly is Anti-Weeaboo, and doesn't give a shit that he is seeing an actual SPY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET. Seriously, aren't spies supposed to be top secret men? No wonder Not-Sonich Kuchedoff declared this to be fail.

Well, Spy tells Anti-Weeaboos are a force that want to stop weeaboos. (no shit???) Weeaboos are people who like or love Japan, (There isn't real difference there??) and, Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan, and then Spy-Detective-Person makes a patriotic pose.

Why Anti-Weeaboos hate Japan anyway? Are they actually a bunch of dudes whose grandparents death in Pearl Harbour shocked them, or did they only watched that Michael Bay movie? Or are they butthurt 4channers who want Anime Boards off the site? I just hated it for no reason, i can't really figure it out myself either, probably it was just the lack of Evangelion.

But back to the video, how does the boy react to the dude's "speech"???

"Wow."

GO TO YOUR ROOM, STUPID KID!

And then Spy-Dude is like "Yes, you know what?? Join Us!"

Really? Just because he said "Wow" he's apparently interested in hating Japan??? Go figure, dude! That kid must be some bum from street who never talked with anyone or never had an internet. Strange enough, Spy didn't mention Anime, so i don't really remember did i hated Japan that much.... KYM will prove it eventually.

Then Spy says that joining Anti-Weeaboos is easy and Falkyjar (Translation: Pinfeather) would take boys like him AKA Street bums. And the boy just nods. And then Spy says "Perfect, let's GHOAEUAOH!" No, He really did, just watch it! It was just plenty times fasturd.

That was silly, and now into a complete change... in style. Now people are replaced with robots from DreamWorks movie!

THE ROBOT WANT TO BE AN ANTI-WEEABOO

In Correct Speech: The Robot who wants to be an Anti-Weeaboo, or "The Robot who didn't got into Super Robot Wars game and got very angry about it".

"Jade, I'm bored to this stuff" A Television Android built from Coca-Cola cans blurted in a space bar where no man has gone before.
"What now, Dr. Weez?" A Stupid rubbish pin made out of Kitchen machines asked.
"I'm working to a man called MatrixMarioX Eustace Pietime" Weez responded. "He always wants me to fix his PeeCee."
"Now i'm bored." Living Junkyard declared. "I want some more stuff (to do) than him fixing dead PC's all the time."
"And what should i be?" Lady in Brown asked as she scratched her head.
"A Man.", Weez cursed "Something more than Weeaboo stuff... I want anti-stuff!"
"You mean..." Jade started. "Antiweabos?" she muttered quickly.
"Oh, hell sure yes i mean!" Coca-Cola thing said. "Whatevah..."

Dr. Weez was shortly killed after his journey through dataspace, nobody knows what killed him but it looked like... onions.
Not many people cried.

ON THE HIGH CONVERSATION'S ROOM

In Correct Speech: At The Room Of The Highest Authority, also known as "Cunning Plans"

Now, the video starts with the guy with Spy's voice (They must be same person!) telling that he has bad news for the President of Anti-Weeaboos. While not being visible, he asks "Mr. Hurry", what is it. And appareantly, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY!!! *gasp*
Some People! Who knows how MUCH is that??? The Highest Authority states that this has happened previously too, but it's still bad, because SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REQUIRED INTO WEEABOO ARMY GUYS!!! THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM, I DON'T EVEN MENTION THEIR NAMES!!!
Those people have apparently "thinked" that Japanese people have a lot of awesome stuff.

Like this.

Falkyjar can't do anything about this! Of course he can't because he knows that people have opinions! Goddamn it!
So, the Highest Authority states that they might start a war against Anti-Weeaboos! And it means the end of Anti-Weeaboos!
Wait? They can't fight back? So they're actually a group of weak men who waste all their money on spies who force street bums into their army?? I get it! Anti-Weeaboos are the CHINAMEN.
Then he tells Mr. Hurry to "get the grenades." More like...
"GET THE GRANADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS PUTA!"
Highest Authority tells Mr. Hurry has he ever heard of suicidebomber Konata... Azumi. Mr. Hurry wonders why should they throw suicidebomber with grenades, he even tells that it sounds stupid, but then decides to accept.
Have you realized, Mr. Hurry, that WHOLE ANTI-WEEABOO SHIT SOUNDS AND IS STUPID IN GENERAL???
Then we see finally Highest Authority's face, and it turns out he's John McCain and even does a nazi pose.
WHAT?

This is... very... confusing....

message to all

In Correct Speech: ... Message to Everyone Also Known As What Is This?
I don't know either, dude.

"Hello, here is OriginalFalkyjar, I know you're calling me mad and faggot, because i hate Japan."

Ironically, nowadays they would call me mad and faggot if i would say i love Japan, just saying.

"But i say you one thing, you people are faggots and idiots because of my calling. After this, i'm going to hate Japan more than ever before. Thanks to you, idiots, HAWEHAWHEEYAH!"

That ending wasn't really necessary.

That was childish and silly, and doesn't fit my personality, well, it does fit FORTAN's personality but not mine. Me and "Fortan" you know are different people.
Besides, this "style" gives me creeps. I don't find it pretty enjoyable to stare at that Black and White Man's soulless stare.

GOOD NIGHT OKLAHOMA

Uhhh... next video please.

Weeaboo Robot Francis

In Correct Speech: Japan-Crazy Robot Called Francis, and it wasn't Francis from L4D, valvefags.

"Oh my god." Jade started. "What now, Francis?" She asked and crossed her arms.
"Oh, What a night!" An Ancient Camera-Radar thing moaned. "Jade, They clicked me about million times... That was fun!"
"Okay." Jade replied and sighed.
"The Weeaboo Party was fun." Francis reiterated. "All this gayness there and..."
"Yes," Coffee Machine Lady interrupted. "I know you're gay, like all weeaboos."
Camera-Computer dude turned on Jade and blurted: "Oh man, don't start it... Jade, this is hybrid you know."
"You are!" Jade shouted. "What??" Gay Version of Lost In Space Robot asked.
"Gay." Jade said and stared.

Then Francis killed Jade by knocking her head down and burning the bar down. Francis got 5 years in Inter-galactic prison.

Neeeeext...

On The Spy's Room:

In Correct Speech: Highest Authority visits room of the Anti-Weeaboo detective.

We see Anti-Weeaboo Spy sitting on his chair and telling how this work as Spy is taking him off.
Suddenly we hear Highest Authority who came out of nowhere and also said Spy's real name, and it turns out he's just a guy named Hudson.

Hey everyone! We've got Hudson here!

So, Highest Authority wants to talk with Mr. Hudson. Well, Spy Hudson thinks it's neeze to see Mr. President again. What Wiktionary states to me, i'm sure everytime Spy sees Mr. President he starts to sneeze, so no wonder that guy is forced to collect bums from a street!
Well, Hudson also recommends President to call him just Spy because "Weeaboos are On The Door" Hmm, that would make a good songname. Note to Self!

So, The Highest Authority has to talk about "The Weeaboo Lovers." Spy goes sad and wonders why those people want to make theirselves look stupid. Because of this President changes quickly the topic and wants Spy to help him to attack the Weeaboo Base. President has also heard that "Dutchman Joe" lives in there.

Dutchman Joe? Who is he? Long lost son of The Dutchman? We'll see.

Anti-Weeaboo Spy accepts, suddenly we hear, or they hear, something and Spy's mouth turns into black goo. Highest Authority tells him it's the Suicidebomber, and he needs to "Get On." And by that we mean, GET ON! GET ON BABY! GET ON! If you don't know the reference, Finnish teens from 70's will beat the shit out of you.

Anyways, the next video, where we finally see stuff from Weeaboo's point of view.

Jweck 9son In Joe Humbles' Midnight Radio(tm)

There is no name for that so i made something up.

So, Joe starts by telling that they have a special guest tonight, who is Jweck 9son.
Hm, Joe doesn't even tell who he is. Is this a sign that Weeaboos are actually overlords in this universe? That explains robots and big heads...
Joe asks Mr. 9son how does it feel to be the boss of every weeaboo on the ear...wait.

So you're telling me that that nigga is the leader of the Japanfags? I expected someone cool, and evil, but nope.
If i remember right, Jack was supposed to be white, but xtranormal had very limited amount of characters. So i chosed the one with black hat.

Well, Jweck tells that leading every weeaboo on earth is "not bad" and "it's just fun." Now i know how Kim-Jong Un feels!
Well, Jweck tells that he has ability to mind-control people, but really can't. Jweck tells that it's really his scientist, Dr. Archy, who is the only person who has a surname that doesn't sound stupid.
Then Joe asks why did he...i mean Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata... Azumi, who is a famous tv star.
Well, Jweck says that this world needs suicidebombers, how ironic, so Dr. Archy brainwashed Konata A. and thus made... him(?) insane.
Joe is being ignorant once again and asks Jweck just one question, Does he love anyone.
And Jweck tells he's a pervert.
Hmmm, i don't really love anyone in Anime Universe, because i'm a pervert for every single anime girl, so i guess i somehow predicted future.
Well, Joe thanks Jweck and then tells that Giant Bus is driving in Orguila. Whatever is that, and Jweck realizes he "needs to be hurry." I can't remember what was the point of that.

This one was pretty decent, it was too short, but pretty much all these videos are too short.
I hope the next video is decent as this...

UNNAMED

In Correct Speech: I Have no idea what is the name of this video.

So, we see a priest-like person who tells to Mr. 9son that Anti-Weeaboos and trolls are attacking here. Then Jweck says probably the most fanciest line of all these videos.

"Trolls, What they are?"

By using the bad grammar, Jweck sounds like he isn't giving a fuck, and doesn't know that a shitload of Weeaboo Haters are coming to kill him. That must become my tagline!

Well, Priest-Dude mentions three people that-i-totally-don't-know-anything-about. Heh, i don't really want to know what those guys do these days, especially the first one!

You know, something, like, this.

 After finding out that trolls are Weeaboo and Anti-Weeaboo "hatters", Jweck says another quotable line:

"What god has created to this world???"

I mean, you're not a villain at all if you're not Christian, this guy is awesome! Why didn't i use him more?

Well, Jweck wants that Weeaboo's must be saved before basement gets ruined, and is planning to go to battlefield with president.
Priest-Dude (Who is Dr. Archy i just remembered) asks Jweck is he crazy and says that the Antis will kill him if he does that. He also tells that Nico Nico Douga's code ornaments(?) are in the basement.

Jweck says that he doesn't care, and he will go there, no matter what.

"Time is Up, We Must do peace with them both."

I Don't really think that Jweck is a villain, Anti-Weeaboos just think they are because they're stupid.

Then to the last Anti-Weeaboo War video, starring two leaders of the both armies.

FINAL JUDGEMENT

Okay, i don't remember much about this video, so let's see what they say.

"President of Weeaboo Haters, Nice to see you again."

I think Jweck thinks it's pretty satire to call Weeaboo's Antis. But Anti-Weeaboos call theirselves Antis too, so what?
President says the same words.

"This is our last fight, Probably. The Trolls are a new challenge for us."

Highest Extremetly Flat Authority tells that trolls are complaining about the Anti's and their... gayness? I Don't know was that guinness or gayness.

"Hey, how about we fuse our powers and destroy trolls together."

SING DIGIMON THEME SONG! NOW!

Well, President commands that they must stop fighting and destroy the trolls, once and for all.

Nobody knows did they win. But it's better than leaving it into a cliffhanger.

After this i tried to start new series, that didn't work, and it was also my last vid, because my youtube account was hacked and Xtranormal started to cost.

This Scrappy Doo is known as...

A Plan To Destroy Vocaloid

In Correct Speech: Haters try to delete Vocaloid from Someone's computer.

We see a hippie with a voice never heard before, he wonders where that sound comes from, and it turns out to be an old mans throne room(?).

Hippie says that he can't be serious, i agree. Then Hippie asks what he wanted from him.

Suddenly, the old man starts ranting about Vocaloid, or "Vookaloid" and he tells how that place is a hell on earth and tells that the place has rapes, drugs, alcohol, racism and even Nazi's.

I think somebody just fused Vocaloid with "Tumblr." Or then he was actually talking about Vookaloid and not Vocaloid.

But hippie tells that he thinks that Miku is loveful... but the old man interrupts hippie with a buzzer sound and "double-w-Rong". And tells that everyone in Vookaloid, this time spelled as "Vocaloid", sucks.

He even tells the hippie to grow up, and tells that he is going to destroy this evil "Infestation"

And the hippie... ugh... just replies "Oh! Okay!"

GO TO YOUR ROOM, STUPID HIPPIE!

Then the old man brokes the fourth wall by telling that "Those guys" will get something that they never forget, and mentions again some usernames...

Hippie lampshades this by asking who is he talking to, and man just replies "To Jaybus???" Followed with a late laughing track.

And then it ends.

Man those were stupid! But My mercy for Jweck has grown back again. I'm soooo going to bring him back as full time OC and nobody could stop me!

Expecially when the dude who used to stop me is doing something, like, this. And i'm out.